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Track 10:
I woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream and dragged myself out of bed. Well, it wasn’t even a bad dream; it was a dream of him all grown up. I wanted to stay in it. It was the most indulgent made up memory. I could’ve stayed and gotten lost in it forever. It wasn’t the dream that hurt so bad; it was waking up from it over and over again.
With shadows under my eyes, greasy hair tied on top of my head, and a cup of tea, I sat and cried over the keys of my piano for twenty minutes at 4am. I looked up and saw a scrap of paper with the scribbled words, “Matthias, it’s been a while. Honestly I’m sick of this reckless precision.” In this half awake, delirious dance with the feeling of “why,” the song came to life and was sitting there right in front of me.
I had moments when I questioned naming the song, “Matthias.” I didn’t want it to seem like this song was supposed to be about him fully or even about grief fully. It is just about that moment of “why." There are no words, no rationality, no other feelings. Just, “why”
So there’s nothing else to say but their name when there are no other words to turn to- it’s a cry of desperation. So I said his name a few more times before I hit the last note.
Day 22 of our #Midwest #adventure . Met my cousin's new #cat . His name is Angus and he is the sweetest little 2 year old kitty. Tessie hissed for a week or two and finally the day after we left they became friends and groomed one another. We found inctedible #ancestry info thanks to my cousin as well. My great grandma from Greece came over on the SS Themistocles. Never knew that ship name! Found my other great parents are burried not far in Chicago area as well. Took a great walk in the mist through a park nearby and then hung out with the kitties and my family.
This is such a nerdy confession, but putting this tablescape together was so therapeutic after the long day that I have had 🙈 brought in some of the last greens of the summer from my lavender plants, and I’m loving this sweet and simple set up
How to attach bands to a bench bar to create 80-100lbs of tension. This setup will have you right about 100lbs at lockout. If you're anchoring your bands differently you are probably getting less band tension than you expect. If you don't have a bench to attach bands to you can always use dumbbells to create the base. With bands, I'd rather have more tension than expected opposed to less.
#westsidebarbell #louiesimmons #conjugatemethod #powerlifting #midwest #midwestpowerlifting #squat #bench #deadlift #crossfit #strongman #thinkforyourself #teachyourself #death2hipsters #fitness #workout #strengthtraining #strengthandconditioning

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