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“Do you ever have a shadow of doubt that Jesus Christ is crazy about you? Not about the world, but YOU. Do you know for a fact that He loves you endlessly? Or do you have doubts - you’re not sure if He loves you? Right now, I don’t know how He could love me. I wander to insecurity and I try to earn his love somehow. Are you sure that God loves you? Now let me ask, how much do you think God the Father loves His son? Try to imagine that, that love. Near impossible to think about. Now, John 15:9 says “Just as the Father loved me, so have I loved you. Remain in that love.” “ - Francis Chan

I find myself coming to these exact thoughts. How could God love me right now? I’m a mess. I want to die, I hate everybody and myself. I feel like I’m suffocating in my mental issues. I feel completely like I’m up against the entire world. How could God love somebody who has so many flaws, somebody who’s such a disaster and is broken in every way possible. And then I have doubts.. I feel unworthy of His love. I don’t feel worthy to receive His light and all the good He brings. How could God love a backslider who can’t seem to STAY? No mater how hard I try, I never feel good enough and like I’m so far below everyone else that I don’t have a chance. With this verse, it brings me back to the knowledge that as God loves Jesus, He loves us that much. It’s hard to believe that as someone so full of mental issues and self doubt but I try hard to remember this. God is so good. He wants me to be here, not to suffer but to trust and put my faith in Him. I’m trying to give him my anxieties, my fears but I still somehow struggle with this. I’m so truly grateful to Him, for reaching out to me and showing that He is here and to keep strong through Him, for he is within me and I can do anything through Him. It can be achieved.
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Slow night scoring but a great passing night! Wizards win-109-104! We now stay at #1 in the eastern conference!!
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