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User Image crimson.red.release Posted: Dec 18, 2017 3:03 PM (UTC)

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I never was and I never will be. I don't deserve their love anyways. I'm the cause of their pain.
#suicide #suicidal #hatemyself #bulimia #anorexia #ed #sh #depressed #selfharnn #depression #selfharn
User Image adndealien Posted: Dec 18, 2017 2:57 PM (UTC)

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Lunes 18 de diciembre
Todavía no puedo encontrar como frenar esa pulsión instantánea que ante una crisis solo quiera herirme a mi misma.La bulimia si bien es un proceso de autodestrucción lleva su proceso... Pero un golpe o una herida,en el cuerpo,es ese sedante instantaneo que mi mente necesita tras colapsar.La gran mayoría de las veces,ese interruptor se levanta con el mínimo detalle más simple para la vista cualquier otra persona ,pero con tanta emoción contenida,en mi,es muy fácil rozar la locura y un detalle puede desembocar en un dolor físico muy grande.Por eso temo de mi en esas situaciones...porque tengo lapsos de conciencia y me asusto como sobrepasó mis límites.
A veces logro contener tanta irá cuasi ilógica y termino llorando desgarradamente quedando en cama ...sumida en un preciado profundo sueño...calmando por otro instante a esa fiera...
Cuando me puse una peluca por primera vez : junio 2005 me dijeron que tal vez sería algo que usaría de por vida.Tengo el recuerdo intacto de lo extraña que me ví con ella.Pero no del momento que me ví en el espejo sin cabello...solo recuerdo que fue una semana donde previo a una semana de un final (biología I. Veterinaria) se me había juntado la partida de mi madre a otro país,el estres de una dieta de 200 calorías,una horrible tortícolis etc etc...de golpe me puse un pañuelo en la cabeza y no salí de mi casa por un largo tiempo. Un poco de ayuda terapeutica y una peluca me forjaron un instante para intentar volver a la vida real...o por lo menos salir de mi habitacion.Cada vez que me crecía algo el cabello. Lo volvía a perder. Y más pasaba el tiempo más asumía que viviría usando peluca.Irónicamente hasta inicie un curso de peluquería. Me dolía mucho la cabeza. Mis padres percataron que me lastimaba el cuero cabelludo.Tenía heridas en toda su totalidad...y cuando crecía mi cabello al centímetro volvía esa pulsión autodestructiva y me lo volvía arrancar. No sé cómo por 4 años aguante ese dolor...tenia en ciertos sectores a carne viva. Y los tirones de cabello hacia que me saliera como bolitas en la nuca...me acostumbré a usar peluca.Trance con ese dolor...
Continua en comentarios
User Image gedankenfarbenx Posted: Dec 18, 2017 3:01 PM (UTC)

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Hello everyone 🙈
My breakfast today was oatmeal (made with oatmilk, as always) with a golden kiwi and some chia seeds😋
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Today was the last exam before the christmas holidays, yeay😍 and normally I would have written a little Test tomorrow, but the lessons are canceled, so no test and only 2 hours school. Plus I recieved a letter from a school where I would love to go to and I'm invited to the "Aufnahmeverfahren" (I don't know what it's called in english 😂) and that Made me so happy! So this brightening up my mood a bit :)
How are you today?❤
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#recovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #edfighter #edwarrior #eatittobeatit #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #healthynotskinny #vegan #breakfast #oatmeal #porridge #kiwi #vegetarian
User Image magic_and_demons Posted: Dec 18, 2017 3:00 PM (UTC)

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So tired I've been working non-stop but it's a good thing it distracts me from food and I'm on my feet all day so yeah
#depression #depressed #suicide #suicidal #cutter #cutting #alone #broken #dying #dyinginside #hurt #anorexia #anorexic #bulimia #bulimic
User Image peanutbutterheals Posted: Dec 18, 2017 2:57 PM (UTC)

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A nice steaming plate of everything good in this life. I was planning on quinoa, but my parents had leftover white rice from eating out yesterday so I said fuck it, steamed rice is fucking good. .
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I've been doing fucking stellar lately and I'm so happy about it. I'm slowly increasing and slowly challenging myself more and more. Eating add ons that I wasn't planning on, changing up my meals and all that. I think, for once, I'm actually starting real recovery and it's fucking worth it.
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#anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anawarrior #anawho #bulimia #bulimiarecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorder #ortherexia #realrecovery #fearfood #diet #foodisfuel #strongnotskinny #ednosrecovery #edrecovery #edfam #ednos #peanutbutter #proteinbar #fitness #fooddiary #gains #weightgain #realrecovery #anawho #ortherxia #motivation #vegan #fooddiary
User Image c0unting.the.cal0ries Posted: Dec 18, 2017 2:56 PM (UTC)

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ROW 7: SKIRTS
im going for a long walk to pick my brother up from school, then walking home, and me and my mum are going on a super long walk tomorrow - but i need to do some of my assignment tonight otherwise I’ll never get it done || but i also have a really good fanfic idea
User Image frupli Posted: Dec 18, 2017 2:52 PM (UTC)

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User Image carmilla_mistero Posted: Dec 18, 2017 2:52 PM (UTC)

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Вчера был срыв. Даже не хочу знать сколько ккал вчера вышло. В итоге всю ночь и весь день мне было плохо, живот раздуло как шарик. Было чувство, что если иголкой уколоть меня, то живот сдуется))0))💨💣
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#russia #depression #anorexia #bulimia #depressed #alone #help #followme #diet #diary #hate #annoyed #lifesucks #nolove #like4like #follow4follow #selfhate #selfharn #nothappy #foodporn #food #дневник #похудение #диета #ккал #жируха #жируходи
User Image thisguysmentalhealth Posted: Dec 18, 2017 2:49 PM (UTC)

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TW .#tw #triggerwarning My #newyearresolution #newyear #nye

1. To try not to commit and make it 2 year attempt free.
2. To continue to stay out of the hospital.
3. Be 8 stone.
Thank you for making me realize that love still exists. Let's see how far we get💕
User Image auroracenternyc Posted: Dec 18, 2017 2:42 PM (UTC)
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“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.” ~Etty Hillesum

It may feel like getting through this day and week before the holidays will be impossible.
It may seem like the road to recovery is just way too scary to even consider it... Life may simply feel too overwhelming right now.

Challenges, obstacles, or struggles are all things that may make you want to give up. But the truth is: you will make it through, no matter how hard it gets.
So when anxious feelings show up this week, try to check back in with your body by simply taking a few minutes to focus on your breath. Take a deep, conscious breath in, then let it go through your body, creating a calm wave of relaxation. Then exhale slowly. Make sure each breath is deep and steady.
Conscious breathing is a great way to calm your mind when it starts to wonder. One breath at a time.💛🙏🏼 #recovery #eatingdisorders #bulimiarecovery #bulimia #BEDRecovery #emotionaleating #ditchthescale #bingeeating #bingeeatingdisorder #bodyacceptance #manhattan #antidiet #diet #eatingdisorder #bodyimage #haes #loveyourbody #dieting #positivevibes #bodypositive #yoga #healthateverysize #effyourbeautystandards #cleaneating #empoweringwomen #bodypositivity #selflove #motivationmonday
User Image izzywanders Posted: Dec 18, 2017 2:39 PM (UTC)

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Wow! So my #2017bestnine is a real travel throwback! Glad to see the salted coconut sorbet is up there because tbh that was a highlight of 2017. This year has been great for trying new things and visiting new places. So whilst 2017 was the year of travel, 2018 will be the year of mental health. I can't wait to see what the journey will be like. Izzy xx
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#mentalhealth #quote #mentalillness #selfcare #australia #newzealand #sugar #strongnotskinny #bingeeating #orthorexia #surf #bikini #cute
#anxiety #depression #ed #edrecovery #bipolar #schizophrenia #bulimia #eatingdisorder #anorexia #bodypositivity #selflove #travel #traveller #love #kind #kindness

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