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  Posted: Aug 18, 2012 4:08 AM
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Holy shits @JonesysJukebox was a FANTASTIC podcast guest. Will post soon! cc: @jonahray @mattmira

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User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 22, 2017 3:11 AM (UTC)
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@camimendes & I are on @latelateshow w/ @j_corden tonight! She was super nice and VERY patient with my “when I was your age Mrs. Grundy was 105 years old!!!” talk. @lydiahearst is a HUUUGE @thecwriverdale fan, so naturally I told the story of when I came home and thought I caught her watching porn when it was actually just Archie threatening a serial killer with a bunch of shirtless, oiled up dudes in red hoods. Like ya do. Camila explained to me that it was just a fundraiser for the Riverdale Jaycees and that “bake sales” are very different things nowadays.
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 20, 2017 2:18 AM (UTC)
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Smoochin’ it up w/ @lydiahearst at the Ask Me Anythings! Snazzy suit by @paulsmithdesign, style time by @kitscarbo, kisses by heaven. #dawwwwwwwwwwwww
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 19, 2017 3:59 AM (UTC)
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I SHIT YOU NOT this is true...the Apple TV remote has that hair trigger surface on it—kind of a pain sometimes really. We fall asleep with the tv on and apparently our blobby cat regularly lays on it in the middle of the night and “buys” shows. @lydiahearst & I each thought the other was randomly purchasing stuff until we figured it out that our oil spill of a cat was responsible. So far Anubis has bought Brooklyn 99, season 3 of Mr. Robot and ALL 180 episodes of Seinfeld. So he has excellent taste at least! But seriously this mother fucker needs to get a job soon to support this habit. What are some other shows he might enjoy? Handmaid’s Tail? Hiss Is Us? Stranger Things Mew?? Lemme know in the comments! #CatTV #RIPAtMidnight
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 18, 2017 7:33 PM (UTC)
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Before we get into walker therapy tomorrow night I’ll be presenting at the #AMAs! The show is on @abcnetwork at 8/7c and I’ll be earlier in the show.
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 17, 2017 5:46 PM (UTC)
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Larry Wilmore & I went to prom. The theme this year was “11:30pm-12:30am Comedy Central 2016”. #retro
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 17, 2017 5:41 AM (UTC)
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OK OK Bill Murray was there too. Just look at how relaxed and not at all frozen with fanboy fear I look! He, @larainenewman & Dan Aykroyd were all very nice to me anyway. Aaaaaaand I’m dead. (Photo by Arnold Turner/Invision for Invision for the Television Academy/AP Images)
I just got this one and the lighting in it is a bit better. Also, bonus @ldub61! He hosted the show beautifully last night. (Photo by Arnold Turner/Invision for Invision for the Television Academy/AP Images) #SNLSeason1
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 17, 2017 4:44 AM (UTC)
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So this happened last night...I had the tremendous honor of inducting Joan Rivers into the @televisionacad Hall of Fame. I was friends with Joan, I adored her, and I miss her. Anyway, one of the other inductees was actually five—the surviving members of the original @nbcsnl cast. “But where’s Bill Murray???” you ask, blissfully unaware that he didn’t come in until season 2. It was surreal and amazing and I have to thank @larainenewman for being the wonderful person that she is and pulling me into this bucket list of a picture. Also YES THAT’S LILY TOMLIN ON THE END. She presented their induction! It was magical.
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 12, 2017 9:43 PM (UTC)
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How can that woman stand there so calmly with all of these creepy cat children running around???
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 12, 2017 8:43 AM (UTC)
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Was so happy to watch @tiffanyhaddish kill it on @nbcsnl! Always one of my @midnight faves, and ran into ANOTHER one of my @midnight faves, @marcellacomedy at the after party. I’m flying home in a few hours. Fortunately I sleep on planes so I’ll be all fresh and ready to talk about zombies on @amctalkingdead later on.
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 11, 2017 11:47 PM (UTC)
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THANK YOU if you came out to @carolinesonbway this week! It’s a beautifully run club and always a blast. Also thanks to @nycomedyfest for having me. Next stop, @heliumcomedy in Portland, OR Dec 7-9!!!
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 11, 2017 6:33 AM (UTC)
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THE GREMLINS HAVE THE PHONE BOX. @lydiahearst has added Mogwai Lenny to her collection. These are all original @therickbaker puppets from Gremlins 2: The New Batch, which is a delightfully batshit movie if you haven’t seen it. Super weird and funny, and mind blowing that they were able to make a sequel that essentially poked fun at itself and the franchise. We love it! Lenny, still in Mogwai form, was the dopey one if you’re familiar with the movie. I asked Lyds to send me a photo of him since I’m in NY and she sent this BECAUSE SHE IS THE BEST WIFE EVER. I’m not sure she’s following the rules though cuz this pic may have gotten me a little wet heyoooooooooo (I’m sorry). But honestly, ponder the amazing and plausible @bbcdoctorwho crossover this would be—they are DEFINITELY an alien race the Doctor would have encountered.
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 9, 2017 2:41 PM (UTC)
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#tbt THE 70s. This gem of a clip is from @pbatour Saturday morning bowling. That’s tiny me sitting on @nerdistmom’s lap while my dad won a tournament in Toledo. Look at the focus on his face!! He’s not fucking around at all. If you have any doubts about the time period just check out my dad’s groovy slacks. The commentator is the late, great Chris Schenkel, who—FUN FACT—I was named after. Back the @originalpenguin shirts were called Munsingwear and I ROCKED THAT SHIT. Even though I look like a little baked potato in a jump suit. PS I still have that same awkward smile face. That never went away. 😬
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 9, 2017 12:12 PM (UTC)
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#tbt THE 80s. But you probably figured that out. This was my dear friend and older brother figure Mike Basch in Memphis, TN. I’m clearly eating Spaghetti-Os out of the bowl that was just used to cut my hair. This was, as you can tell from the aesthetic, minutes before the wood panel wall opened up and sucked us into the Upside-Down.
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 8, 2017 8:46 PM (UTC)
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I made a hypnotic timelapse of Ursus Spelaeus being assembled for all you bearback video fans out there HEYOOOOOOO. Masterful assembly by Michael from @theevolutionstore with excellent assistance from Nolan Wheaton. Song: “Despair, Hangover & Ecstasy” by @thedoband #BuildABear
Thanks to @subpop2000 who made this li’l slideshow chick full o’ great references to promote my shows in NY this week! Tix at!
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 8, 2017 3:51 PM (UTC)
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Great to be back in New York! I’m doing 2 shows a night tonight through Friday @carolinesonbway for @nycomedyfest. Tix at’ll be another year and a half before I perform here again so come on out!
This gentleman has taken up residence in our living room. Ursus Spelaeus is a denizen of the Pleistocene Era and this ~30,000 year old male (yes, we has his penis bone) was originally found in Romania. This massive species (a 9’ when standing on its comically stubby hind stumps) went extinct 24,000 years ago (I recommend looking it up for more info). I got him from my friends at @theevolutionstore I had the talented craft mages at @offermanwoodshop make a hex walnut base so he’s look as much like an old museum exhibit as possible. I don’t just love these kinds of things for their aesthetic qualities, but also for the scientific intricacies of speciation. Seeing how each creature, big or small, carved out a niche for itself in Nature’s rich landscape is endlessly fascinating to me. I’m sure that someday, after I’m long into the tail end of the carbon cycle I’ll make sure this dude gets donated to a museum but for now he’s making a brief pitstop at Hearstwick Castle in the glorious stream of his protracted afterlife. Scroll through for more pics! I think he fits in beautifully. Science! (Animal painting by @mackvarnish)
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 6, 2017 10:15 PM (UTC)
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This is what I’m doing with my time during a major flight delay at LAX. It only took a day for me to figure out that I could make something juvenile out of this amazing iPhone X technology. @lydiahearst, @nerdistmom & @apple are going to be so so proud. I present to you....”KEITH”
User Image hardwick Posted: Nov 6, 2017 7:05 AM (UTC)
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smooches from me & Daryl D