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  Posted: Aug 14, 2012 9:38 PM
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User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 21, 2017 6:08 PM (UTC)
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the children are rolling cinnamon play doh next to the drafty kitchen window and the teapot is on and i am in my subtly content happy place ~ prepping pie fillings and dough and blaring novo amor in my very loved house dress, the one with two holes i haven’t mended, the one i’ve worn carrying our two babies on earth and our baby in heaven. we will roll out the dough tomorrow and make pies that are vivid in my head. i split a piece of paper in half and grabbed their cornflower blue crayon to quickly write down these two beautiful things, to embed inside me forever: “small steps, every day” and “it does not matter if you are a rose or a lotus or a marigold, what matters is that you are flowering.” my wish for you all: to have blissfully happy moments in the kitchen, wherever you are, whoever you are with and to go make those beautiful memories you want not just them, but yourself, to keep. i am so thankful for you. if you knew how much, you would weep alongside me, too. 🍂🍁
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 19, 2017 7:53 PM (UTC)
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i think it’s a holiday gnome, my husband thinks it’s santa claus, either way, tea time just got really really cute
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 19, 2017 1:37 AM (UTC)
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this beautiful work of word art happened to my soul today: “It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.' It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.” - Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the Invitation
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 16, 2017 6:12 PM (UTC)
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lately i have been internally challenging myself in times of personal weakness or darkness (which can look and feel so differently to each person) to list five beautiful things, deliberately, even when i feel like i can’t or don’t want to — which is often the times i actually need to the most. sometimes i list it in my head, sometimes i write it, sometimes i take a photo of it. and then i think about those things and where they stand inside my chest and what they mean and can become and how they feel when i think of their significance. sometimes it’s easy, like “closing one eye while looking at the moon, then switching eyes and watching it appear to move” or “ the feeling of unlocking your door after days of being gone.” and sometimes it’s more complex and more spiritual and more asking of questions than answering them — but it’s powerful and it makes a difference, even if the difference only lasts a moment (do you ever think about how even one small moment can change your life forever? think of the first time you kissed someone you love on the lips. it was a moment. but it changed life as you knew it, didn’t it?) so, yesterday i wrote down my five beautiful things in a hard moment and i wanted to share them with you and encourage you so deeply to try it. these beautiful things exist on their own just as they are, but if you give them meaning, they become eternal. (1) florence and the machine singing her version of “stand by me” (2) this quote by john greene i accidentally found, “i’ve always liked quiet people: you never know if they’re dancing in a daydream or if they’re carrying the weight of the world.” (3) lining your windowsill in fairylights, even one corner, and watching it as it goes from day to night (4) the word “tu’burni” (arabic) which means “bury me” ~ the desire to die before the one you love so you never have to live without them (5) looking out at the scorched land from the fires, seeing acres of green beginning to sprout through it, and thinking “nature always wants to live, nature will always fight to live.” #myfivebeautifulthings
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 16, 2017 3:03 AM (UTC)
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just a simple photo of us leaning into each other in our white nighties on the morning her nails were painted the color of roses for the very first time 🌹
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 15, 2017 2:07 AM (UTC)
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oh how i love how impractical and practical a dress can simultaneously become. how impractical it is, for walks in the rain and hours pulling the dried leaves from the dirt and hardened patches of earth, but oh, how beautifully practical it becomes when its pockets blossom into the perfect place to house the rosemary to bring inside, to spread over a meal that will feed...them.
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 14, 2017 12:27 AM (UTC)
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two notes, about her, from today / note one: if i am turned, my back to hers, in the early morning hours, say, six am, and she awakens softly to this realization, she, almost all the way asleep, almost barely awake, will say “no mama” and whimper, unconsciously and repeatedly, until my body swivels like a marshmallow on a skewer back to where she has remained (until my forehead binds itself into her cheek, the exact place that carries her into her dreams; until we are as close as our atoms will allow; until we are one single compounded star). that is one way to be needed, isn’t it? so ferociously, with an immediacy that cannot be negotiated—so completely, like you are the only version of nearness in allllllll the bigness. / note two: while she attempted to use the restroom (nothing ever happens, though she tries so hard) this morning, she leaned in and kissed four parts of my face (each eye, nose, mouth) then started to cry when i helped her get off the potty, until i said “do you want to see if daddy is outside” and she shrieked with such pure joy that her tears must have evaporated with the speed in which she ran to the window to where he was, a man whom both our whole hearts love. and with a handful of her little pink boots ready to be put on by his soft hands, “there’s my girl,” he said to her.
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 12, 2017 7:12 PM (UTC)
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a little sunday morning romance came in quietly through edwardianesque pink velvet boots from a woman with eyes bluer than the bluest sea and sky and precious stone (i am not joking), learning new facts about DaVinci (do you know how fascinating he is not just as an artist but as a man?), tracing flowers onto socks to embroider this evening and a life-changing quote by susan frybort that may bring you to your knees, as it did me, sent to me from my mom, “they say beauty comes from a spirit that has weathered many hardships in life and somehow continues with resilience. grace can be found in a soul that ages softly, even amid the tempest. i think the loveliest by far is the one whose gentle heart bears a hundred scars from caring, yet still finds a way to pick up the lamp, one more time, to light the way for love.” {repeat that line: grace can be found in a soul that ages s o f t l y} #mymorningromance #whpfindthelight
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 12, 2017 1:57 AM (UTC)
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today’s petite joys: waking up in my parent’s home with a tiny knock on the door by my mom, who had a cup of creamy coffee in one hand for me and a cup of black coffee with sugar, for him • laying in bed, holding hands with my husband while he caught up on my instagram • sneaking off to go thrifting for an hour with my mama, both of us oooh-ing and ahh-ing over the same things and talking about this year’s thanksgiving menu. {and what i thrifted? two white vintage sweaters with tiny little buttons for her third ever winter, a brown sugar oatmeal sweater felicity would certainly approve of, a Marie Antoinette porcelain vase, one blue velvet chair, a white mirror with a rose at the bottom, and three records that made my husband crazy happy} • walking in our old beloved town, collecting yellow leaves in the shape of hearts, sharing falafel, stopping by our favorite pink wall, with her on his shoulders in her pink boots on a saturday afternoon we rarely get to share together {a photo inside a moment i already miss, of them just. like. this} • tonight we have plans for an early bed time {for them},tea with dollops of sugar and milk, cozy pants a movie on the couch. • sometimes i tell gus to count his blessings instead of sheep before he falls asleep, but maybe i should instead, tell him to count them as they’re happening {all of us should, non?) • and you, dear ones, do you have any petite joys you would like to share in this space? oh i would love to hear.
my little world has been quiet lately and i have found myself burrowing like a seed into the soil of my home and into the three beautiful faces that fill it and i haven’t wanted to come out, truthfully. sigh. but, a little story: we got a text from our neighbor over the weekend asking if she could use our bin for some of her yard clippings (since she filled hers to the brim) and when i went to put out the recycling yesterday, i noticed these wheat-colored, dead branches that she had put inside. they were so beautiful to me, so magical and i knew i had to honor them in some way. so while my little boy practiced his letters and my little girl slept, i pulled back the days duties to make that little wreath, for me, for them, for you (it’s every bit of yours as it is mine, if you need a little magic, a little hope, because maybe your days haven’t felt like you’ve needed). i simply turned a metal hanger into a circle, wrapped the branches around and covered them in fairy lights and added two roadside roses at the bottom for good luck. ✨🌹
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 2, 2017 11:40 PM (UTC)
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“that it will never come again is what makes life so sweet” writes emily dickinson. and oh how she is right - it won’t ever come again. not like like this, not exactly like this, anyways. time is relentless and it is racing upon us like a train and i spend much of my life thinking about how to spend it well, and i think after thirty one years of living, spending it well, for me, is only putting out a type of love that isn’t just made from this earth. it’s giving love that forgives and responds and listens and hopes and understands and walks hand in hand beside whatever is hurting, in pain, in need, and not just once but over and over again. last night when i wrote my post about all the darkness that has been quickly thrown in my direction, i took a moment to respond to someone who had such a distaste for me - one who said things like “no wonder why you hide your face, i would hide mine too if it was as ugly as yours.” and in that moment i was hurt, of course, my heart is made of a very soft wind, but even through my tears i wanted to hold her, bring her closer, tell her that no matter what she feels about me, that i still love her. that i still wish nothing but love for her. and i did. with everything i had, i did. i told her that her words will not break me because my love will morph them. you see, my beautiful friends, i realized that hard hearts are created unless they are tended to, unless they are loosened by the strongest roots of love. i am finally getting a chance to have a mid day tea and read through all your comments (i am sobbing) and i want you to know that every time you respond to hatred with love, you have put out a wildfire of darkness. you have engulfed it, simmered it into air and when you witness what you’ve helped raise (lightness), you have become a change in the world that will live on forever. so, don’t just be a light in a dark room: be ten thousand lights in a dark room.
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 1, 2017 11:53 PM (UTC)
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i have been receiving some pretty awful messages and comments lately (commenting on how ugly i am, how insincere and fake i am, and in a recently reposted Free People shot of my bathroom people went off on my ‘dirty’ bathtub ~ which wasn’t dirt. but a hundred year old house that was cracking and in need of new sealant and even if it was dirt or grime or mold or what the hell else, who are you to judge? but i digress) and usually i ignore it or i let it really really bring me down (a painfully sensitive soul will do that to ya). but honestly i am still happy today and will continue to be because i know who i am and who i am loved by and who i love and that’s enough for me. so tell me how ugly i am. tell me how gross my house is. how much you hate my writing. i am ok with it. because i don’t belong to your words or your thoughts and like i’ve stated before, what you think about me is none of my business. it’s the first of november and i am making jeweled Persian rice for dinner and i snuck off to take a one hour long rose bath (in a NEWLY SEALED bath tub 🙄) and you know what, life will still be so so beautiful, with or without me. (and this is in no way me in need of an ego boost ~ please know that. just wanted to shed light on the fact that even the most sensitive souls can rise above the pain of the world, and be ok)
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Nov 1, 2017 12:08 AM (UTC)
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happiest halloween, from our old time circus performers, to you 🎪
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Oct 29, 2017 10:51 PM (UTC)
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a small moment from today, trying to sleep and burrow away this wretched fever in my baby girl, wrapped in the nearest thing to us (an old lace dress). every time i would move or adjust positions, she would clutch me even tighter and it’s the most beautiful thing, to be needed (to profoundly understand how two bodies can create such perfect friction). i would stay like this, protecting her from the world with just my heartbeat and body, forever if i could. 🎼music is by Camélia Jordana
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Oct 28, 2017 5:37 PM (UTC)
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from last night (our very first halloween together): a toy maker and his doll.... #lastminutecostume 👓⚙️🎀
there isn’t anything extravagant about their nursery, but this tiny little corner in this tiny little home that will soon be a memory of a time when we did what we had to do for our future, makes me smile. a garland with flowers, each little bouquet with a story. an embroidered jacket i made for her during winter last year. an old fan to make noise for her to fall asleep. two canvas portraits of their baby faces by the hands of a beautiful mother artist. a wildflower blanket that’s kept us warm every single day since it came in the mail. a few wicker baskets to fill quickly for adventures. tiny sweaters. a portrait of us. a surprise cream shawl from a beautiful girl. it isn’t much, but it’s more than enough.
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Oct 25, 2017 7:37 PM (UTC)
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augustus at four years old (notes from his mama): lately, he’s been saying some of the most beautiful sentences i’ve ever heard, and i’ve been dictating them down, trying to take them (him) all in. and i try to take him in like i would an aurora borealis on a cloudless sky in the middle of a Norwegian sea island or maybe Machu Picchu at the first hint of light or witnessing a nomadic tribe herding hundreds of thousands of reindeers in the Siberian arctic. sometimes we will be laying there, just us, and it’s as though everything i have always wanted to be or become, i already am, to him. he will come close, really close and say things like “i can see your eyes behind the clouds,” and “i will always protect you and love you and always always take care of you.” and then just yesterday as i was checking on a bruise near my knee cap, “i know your eyes are next to stars and i will always be so kind to you and that’s because i love all of your parts.” at night he needs one of us to lay with him, and every night for the last two weeks he has been sleeping with his polar express train his father surprised him with. he hums to himself when he thinks and rinses off things he finds in nature like pits of fruits and smooth rocks and lies about the littlest things, like drinking a full glass of water when he only took a sip or that he loved his dinner when he really clearly didn’t care for it at all. this morning i was photographing this dress and he came up to it and said “wow this is pink and it’s so beautiful, like like a dark peach” and then asked for strawberry fruit snacks. i wonder about the day that will come where the things he thinks about and loves and cherishes now, right now, will be a thing of the past, things he will be embarrassed about, memories he won’t be able to recall, ones that i could recite back to him like a favorite e.e cummings poem. i wonder about that day, and i wonder if i will be ready (i wonder if i’ll ever be ready, to let this version of my little boy, go).
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Oct 24, 2017 8:36 PM (UTC)
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we had such a beautiful day at the pumpkin patch this morning and i would give anything to have a hundred more autumns with them, just like this. (her star boots, the dirt in between his hands, their apple cheeks) #whpperfectpair
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Oct 22, 2017 10:59 PM (UTC)
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a “fuhfly” cake for my two year old baby girl🎂🦋🌈 #bonjourmooncakes #whpperfectpair
User Image bonjourmoon Posted: Oct 20, 2017 6:05 PM (UTC)
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there just so happens to be this family of gorgeous eucalyptus trees growing alongside a deserted market and i felt like they deserved a chance to be deeply adored, right here on our mantle. 🍂🌿 oh and i almost forgot about this hashtag #bitcheslovefall