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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jun 17, 2012 6:59 AM (UTC)

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 21, 2018 9:10 PM (UTC)
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Happy 2nd birthday Potatum! We ♥️ you. 🎈🎈🎉🎉🎂
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 20, 2018 6:19 PM (UTC)
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Mommy's cool kid went with her to her appointment yesterday at City of Hope. Then we threw coins into the fountain because he thinks every fountain needs coins thrown into it.
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 20, 2018 5:54 PM (UTC)

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I ordered some goodies for myself that came this week - my shirt from @weare.survivors and my cancer planner from @canplan. I immediately started using the planner yesterday after my appointment to write down all of the important info given to me at my infusion appointments to keep track of everything. I even use it to take notes on names of everyone I talk to. I'm so glad I got both of these items, they make me feel *slightly* more in control. 😩
Yesterday as I mentioned I wasn't able to get my infusion because not only were my white and red blood cell counts low, so was my platelet count (67,000). The Neupogen (though we got that sorted and will be on its way) will not help my platelet count. If my platelets aren't up enough when I go to my appointment next Friday, not only will I not receive chemo, they will opt for a blood transfusion so I can continue my chemotherapy. I broke down after getting off the phone with my case manager, who was told this info by my doctor and she informed me. I didn't know I'd need a transfusion, and it scared me. It scares me every day how this could all take a turn at any moment. I was on track and happy to be one week closer to the END of chemo, but now 2 (and probably 3) weeks without chemo and hearing I'll likely need a blood transfusion scared the shit out of me. Mark is a universal donor and said he will donate blood for me. If any of my other friends are donors or matches (I'll let you know my blood type), I am considering a blood bank and if you'd like to donate some blood, that would be amazing. So my journey has a bump in the road, but I am determined to see this as a blessing and a good thing, God knows I need a healthy amount and if my bone marrow can't make it, I'll gladly take a donation if it means finishing chemo and giving cancer the middle finger once and for all. More details as I find them out. As always, I appreciate the kind words, encouragement, good thoughts, prayers, and support of anyone that has been kind enough to share this with me. I'm scared but NOT LIVING IN FEAR, I'M STRONGER THAN THIS FUCKING CANCER. #fuckcancer #breastcancer #triplenegative #BRCA1 #cancersucks #wearesurvivors
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 19, 2018 6:16 PM (UTC)
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No chemo today, guys. Platelets are at 67. Was warned to watch for signs of bruising, bleeding gums, bloody nose, etc. Sigh. Really bummed by this news. I want this to be over, but now I still have 10 more weeks. Thanks for the support, thoughts, and prayers. #fuckcancer #breastcancer #triplenegative #BRCA1 #cancersucks #survivor #dumbbunny
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 19, 2018 7:28 AM (UTC)

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My appointment tomorrow is at 8 a.m. (moved from 7 to 8). I was worried about waking up super early and fighting L.A. county traffic. Thankfully, I have a (albeit small) group of people that go out of their way to make this whole cancer experience as easy as possible (is that an oxymoron?) for me. I was informed that the American Cancer Society will book hotel rooms for cancer patients for free or at an extremely discounted rate. So here I am, at a hotel in Arcadia, 9 mins from City of Hope - and no one has to wake up at dark thirty to make it to my appointment on time. Too bad it's 11:30 and I'm watching Seinfeld because I can't sleep...hoping I will be able to get my infusion tomorrow and won't be two weeks behind. 😟 #fuckcancer #breastcancer #triplenegative #BRCA1 #cancersucks #ihatewakingupearly
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 17, 2018 7:37 AM (UTC)

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Oh, I do plan to BEAT cancer. Can't wait for my @canplan planner so I can keep track of all my counts, meds, nurses, etc. I love my little Moleskin, but this will be more efficient. #fuckcancer #beatcancer #breastcancer #triplenegative #BRCA1
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 15, 2018 7:59 PM (UTC)

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"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr.
I know many people don't care or don't see the impact this man had on Americans, not just black Americans. To some, this is just a day off. To me, it means freedom to go where I want and not be harassed just because my skin is not white. It means freedom to marry who I want to marry, regardless of the color of their skin. It means I don't have to live in fear of "speaking my mind" resulting in being jailed or worse, beaten. It means walking with pride and not shame. That is what this man worked so hard for.
And one man is trying to undo it all. He has made it acceptable to be racist, homophobic, bigoted. But it's not okay. The color of your skin doesn't make you a better person than someone else. I never want my son to be ashamed when his skin tans in the summer months because he's not "white" anymore. I never want him to be ashamed of his curly hair or wish it was straight. I want him to be proud of his mixed heritage. I don't ever want him to feel disadvantaged just because he's black. We can do something to stop each other from feeling like this, but we don't because we're either too stupid or too afraid to speak against it. I'm not afraid. Are you? #martinlutherkingjr #happymlkday #chooselove
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 12, 2018 11:28 PM (UTC)
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No chemo today, guys ☹ WBC was way too low. Now I'll have to start injecting myself with Neupogen at home to try to bring my count back up. Yay. #breastcancer #BRCA1 #triplenegative #fuckcancer
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 9, 2018 7:49 PM (UTC)

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 8, 2018 4:10 AM (UTC)

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 6, 2018 4:13 AM (UTC)
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Chemo went well today, my WBC was REALLY low and I almost didn't get to have my chemo, but everything else came back okay so I got the go-ahead. They gave me a big dose of Benadryl that knocked me out 😴 But so far, no crazy painful side effects yet. I'm really praying that the weeks with just Taxol will be easier. I read some comments from other women that are on Taxol that also complained of extreme fatigue, dehydration, and increased heart rate. I'm going to TRY to drink as much fluids as I possibly can. Maybe that will help with the fatigue. Today, I got too tired/weak walking around and so I had to use a wheelchair 🙁 I didn't protest, I knew it was better than falling or passing out!

It's not an easy journey, but I'll get through it, one day at a time. Managing my SE's is hard because everyone is different and everyone's bodies react differently. But they're really great at City of Hope about discussing your pain and fatigue levels and doing all they can to help ease some of those discomforts. As much as I hate having cancer, I'd hate to be in the hands of people that don't care enough to ask patients these things and take action to help them. #breastcancer #triplenegative #fuckcancer #BRCA1 #cancersucks
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 3, 2018 7:13 PM (UTC)

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Day 5: In bed with Netflix. I don't know if it's the carboplatin or the Taxol (I'm assuming the carboplatin since my oncologist said it would be rough), but the side effects aren't subsiding like they did my first 4 rounds. The body ache is horrible, the stomach cramping is practically unbearable. I haven't vomited since my very first chemo, but vomited twice this morning. 🤢 I'm really hoping that because the next 3 weeks are just Taxol, it will be easier. This sucks and I'm tired of it. I haven't been outside since Friday. Everything aches, even my face. I don't have the nausea, but my stomach is still in knots.
I've had a few friends, even my mom, express how proud they are of me and how strong/brave I am. I don't feel strong or brave. I feel sad and sorry and don't want to do this anymore because I'm tired of feeling sick. I'm tired of feeling exhausted. I'm tired of not being able to do normal things anymore. I'm not sharing this so anyone will feel badly or sorry for me. I'm sharing because I want to be honest about my experience with cancer. It's nice to be told how strong and brave I am, but if I'm honest, I don't feel it. I feel like giving up, it is truly hard to do this, and I don't think anyone knows how hard unless they've been through it. And I hate to sound like I'm complaining. I know some people have it worse, their side effects worse or treatment more I hate to whine when it could be worse. But it IS hard. Heartbreakingly so.

I know giving up isn't an option, though. But some days, it really seems easier to do than continue this way. 💔
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 30, 2017 12:42 AM (UTC)
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Week one of my 12 weeks on new meds, carboplatin and Taxol. The carboplatin AND Taxol one week, then JUST Taxol 3 weeks, one week with both, 3 more weeks with just the Taxol, and so on for 12 weeks. I was told this would make me less nauseous but might be more painful (body ache) and make me tired. Also, Taxol causes neuropathy, so that will be fun! Oh, and red skin rashes, yay. But today, I have my sister here with me and a laptop, so we're watching Black Mirror and waiting til I'm all done for the day. #breastcancer #triplenegative #fuckcancer #BRCA1
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 29, 2017 12:58 AM (UTC)
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OMG WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! THEY LOOK SO WELL-RESTED #tbt #babyfree #almostfouryearsago
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 26, 2017 9:40 PM (UTC)

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Christmas Crash (he's all worn out from too much Christmas) 🎄😴
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 25, 2017 10:39 PM (UTC)

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 25, 2017 5:57 AM (UTC)

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Soooo...everything didn't fit UNDER the tree...we may have gone overboard this year. I cannot WAIT to see my baby's face in the morning when he sees it all! 🎅🎄🎁#santasbeenbusy #MerryChristmas
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 18, 2017 5:37 AM (UTC)

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