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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jun 12, 2012 2:13 AM (UTC)

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A look inside.

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 15, 2018 7:59 PM (UTC)

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"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr.
I know many people don't care or don't see the impact this man had on Americans, not just black Americans. To some, this is just a day off. To me, it means freedom to go where I want and not be harassed just because my skin is not white. It means freedom to marry who I want to marry, regardless of the color of their skin. It means I don't have to live in fear of "speaking my mind" resulting in being jailed or worse, beaten. It means walking with pride and not shame. That is what this man worked so hard for.
And one man is trying to undo it all. He has made it acceptable to be racist, homophobic, bigoted. But it's not okay. The color of your skin doesn't make you a better person than someone else. I never want my son to be ashamed when his skin tans in the summer months because he's not "white" anymore. I never want him to be ashamed of his curly hair or wish it was straight. I want him to be proud of his mixed heritage. I don't ever want him to feel disadvantaged just because he's black. We can do something to stop each other from feeling like this, but we don't because we're either too stupid or too afraid to speak against it. I'm not afraid. Are you? #martinlutherkingjr #happymlkday #chooselove
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 12, 2018 11:28 PM (UTC)
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No chemo today, guys ☹ WBC was way too low. Now I'll have to start injecting myself with Neupogen at home to try to bring my count back up. Yay. #breastcancer #BRCA1 #triplenegative #fuckcancer
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 9, 2018 7:49 PM (UTC)

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 8, 2018 4:10 AM (UTC)

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 6, 2018 4:13 AM (UTC)
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Chemo went well today, my WBC was REALLY low and I almost didn't get to have my chemo, but everything else came back okay so I got the go-ahead. They gave me a big dose of Benadryl that knocked me out 😴 But so far, no crazy painful side effects yet. I'm really praying that the weeks with just Taxol will be easier. I read some comments from other women that are on Taxol that also complained of extreme fatigue, dehydration, and increased heart rate. I'm going to TRY to drink as much fluids as I possibly can. Maybe that will help with the fatigue. Today, I got too tired/weak walking around and so I had to use a wheelchair 🙁 I didn't protest, I knew it was better than falling or passing out!

It's not an easy journey, but I'll get through it, one day at a time. Managing my SE's is hard because everyone is different and everyone's bodies react differently. But they're really great at City of Hope about discussing your pain and fatigue levels and doing all they can to help ease some of those discomforts. As much as I hate having cancer, I'd hate to be in the hands of people that don't care enough to ask patients these things and take action to help them. #breastcancer #triplenegative #fuckcancer #BRCA1 #cancersucks
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Jan 3, 2018 7:13 PM (UTC)

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Day 5: In bed with Netflix. I don't know if it's the carboplatin or the Taxol (I'm assuming the carboplatin since my oncologist said it would be rough), but the side effects aren't subsiding like they did my first 4 rounds. The body ache is horrible, the stomach cramping is practically unbearable. I haven't vomited since my very first chemo, but vomited twice this morning. 🤢 I'm really hoping that because the next 3 weeks are just Taxol, it will be easier. This sucks and I'm tired of it. I haven't been outside since Friday. Everything aches, even my face. I don't have the nausea, but my stomach is still in knots.
I've had a few friends, even my mom, express how proud they are of me and how strong/brave I am. I don't feel strong or brave. I feel sad and sorry and don't want to do this anymore because I'm tired of feeling sick. I'm tired of feeling exhausted. I'm tired of not being able to do normal things anymore. I'm not sharing this so anyone will feel badly or sorry for me. I'm sharing because I want to be honest about my experience with cancer. It's nice to be told how strong and brave I am, but if I'm honest, I don't feel it. I feel like giving up, it is truly hard to do this, and I don't think anyone knows how hard unless they've been through it. And I hate to sound like I'm complaining. I know some people have it worse, their side effects worse or treatment more I hate to whine when it could be worse. But it IS hard. Heartbreakingly so.

I know giving up isn't an option, though. But some days, it really seems easier to do than continue this way. 💔
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 30, 2017 12:42 AM (UTC)
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Week one of my 12 weeks on new meds, carboplatin and Taxol. The carboplatin AND Taxol one week, then JUST Taxol 3 weeks, one week with both, 3 more weeks with just the Taxol, and so on for 12 weeks. I was told this would make me less nauseous but might be more painful (body ache) and make me tired. Also, Taxol causes neuropathy, so that will be fun! Oh, and red skin rashes, yay. But today, I have my sister here with me and a laptop, so we're watching Black Mirror and waiting til I'm all done for the day. #breastcancer #triplenegative #fuckcancer #BRCA1
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 29, 2017 12:58 AM (UTC)
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OMG WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?! THEY LOOK SO WELL-RESTED #tbt #babyfree #almostfouryearsago
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 26, 2017 9:40 PM (UTC)

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Christmas Crash (he's all worn out from too much Christmas) 🎄😴
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 25, 2017 10:39 PM (UTC)

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 25, 2017 5:57 AM (UTC)

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Soooo...everything didn't fit UNDER the tree...we may have gone overboard this year. I cannot WAIT to see my baby's face in the morning when he sees it all! 🎅🎄🎁#santasbeenbusy #MerryChristmas
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 18, 2017 5:37 AM (UTC)

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User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 16, 2017 4:16 PM (UTC)
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I finished my four rounds with the Adriamycin and Cytoxan. So I'm on "break" for two weeks, then beginning Dec 29th, I start the Carboplatin and Taxol every week. So a little more nausea, muscle and joint pain, fatigue, mouth sores, all that fun stuff. I haven't yet discussed my surgeries in full detail...a really scary conversation that I'm honestly happy to avoid for the time being since I know it's going to be intense (thanks, mutated BRCA1 gene). But for now, I'll be sick for a few more days, then get to actually enjoy my Christmas with my baby boy and other loved ones. 😊 Still quite a long road ahead, wish God would just take this from me because it's really hard, and even harder when people don't understand just HOW hard it is. I know I have the strength to fight, I'm just already tired of this damn cancer. Sigh. #fuckcancer #BRCA1positive #triplenegative #breastcancer #cancersucks #mysurvivalstory
User Image sharamourfrancaises Posted: Dec 15, 2017 8:16 PM (UTC)

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My favorite face in the 🌍. Disney day with my mom and sister while I have my chemo. So thankful for a great support system in my family, that they will take Alex to have a good day while mommy tries to get better. ❤