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As I look through every photo I have of my Mom, asking family to send me what they have of her, crying seeing photos I have never before seen of my Mom....I am reminded more and more of how important it is for me to get in front of the camera FOR Breezlyn. I take hundreds of photos of her FOR ME...but when I am gone...I NEED to be in photos FOR HER.
We received our family photos back on Friday but before Jason and I could go through them together on Saturday, my Mom had passed. Finally looking through them again now and I am cherishing these so much more. Thank you so much @imelizabethlauren for these! I love how you captured my family and I love that we will get to enjoy these for the rest of our lives...and thankful that my daughter will have these photos of US for the rest of her life (and hopefully we'll have quite a few grandchildren by then too). 💕
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#shewasonthevergeofameltdown #nothappyforpictureday #gaveusarunforourmoney #lotsofbribing #two #todzilla #stopgrowing #staylittle #please #BreezlynJulianna #Breezlyn #breeze #breezy15 #thedudlet #fighter #loveher #mywholeworld #momtogs #momswithcameras #motherhoodrising #generationgood #childhoodunplugged #thatsdarling #burtsbeesbaby
User Image michelled24 Posted: Nov 19, 2017 7:11 AM (UTC)
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It's like that Covered CA healthcare commercial where the guy climbing up the ladder to hang Christmas lights and he falls, cutting an apple with a sharp knife, the pregnancy test...things can change in a month, a week, a day, a second...in an instant.

And just like that...my Mom is gone.

I've tried to prepare myself for this day knowing how her health has been the last few months and it still was unexpected getting the call this afternoon. There's nothing that can prepare you for the realization that the person who brought you into this world...is no longer in it. It's a feeling that a word can't fully describe. Weird. Pain. Emptiness. Soul Wrenching. I can't describe this feeling. I guess that's why we cry because that's all we can do.

I love you so much Mommy. The sunset was so beautiful tonight and a beautiful life was born today while yours went to heaven and I can only hope you had something to do with it. Thank for helping make me be the kind and loving person I am today. And strong. You fought so hard for 6 months and it's a true testament to how strong you are. Thank you for everything, your sacrifices, your hard work, determination and for loving us and everyone around you with every ounce of your soul. I love you Mommy. 💕
I've been so busy I didn't realize today was #WorldPrematurityDay. Well, with a few minutes left, I have to share these photos. Most of these I've never posted.
I remember sitting in the hospital thinking I'm going to make this sacrifice and sit on my butt for weeks and weeks but she (or He) had other plans. I'm just thankful those plans worked out in our favor. The whole delivery process is still surreal. My doctors were so chill during my c-section. The anesthesiologist was super reassuring that my blood pressure (and I) were doing good. It didn't seem real. It still seems like a dream. I hear a nurses voice say "Hi Mama!" a couple minutes after I heard Breezlyn's first cry and look over and see my tiny little baby girl for a few seconds feet away from me before they whisk her away to NICU. I didn't even touch her or kiss her. My tears were of elation, fear and relief all at the same time that she was finally here, but here way too early.
NICU life was rough. I still see little scars on Breezlyn's heels from all the bloodwork she had to do while there and little scars on her hands from the IVs. The last photo I took (I think) to send to Jason or maybe just to remember that time. Going home with no baby was so hard. I would wake up in a panic that my belly was gone and no baby in the crib and trying to process everything and realize it really happened and our baby IS here, she's just at the hospital still. I stolen the blanket from NICU so I get the dogs familiar with her smell but it acted more as a comfort for me, to be with her somehow, have something of her, proof she exists, while she was in NICU. I'm glad those days are long behind us and we have a rambunctious 2 year old who shows no signs of prematurity. So blessed. So lucky. So thankful.
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#two #todzilla #stopgrowing #staylittle #please #BreezlynJulianna #Breezlyn #breeze #breezy15 #thedudlet #fighter #loveher #mywholeworld #momtogs #momswithcameras #motherhoodrising #generationgood #childhoodunplugged #worldpreemieday #preemiemom
User Image michelled24 Posted: Nov 15, 2017 6:02 PM (UTC)
dudley2224
michelledudleyphotography
breezeandginger
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Some of these memes are just too perfect. ✊🏼
Shooting holiday minis in Oak Glen again today and I'm still gushing over this engagement session from last week!! I have another engagement session this Friday. I'm so excited for all of my 2018 couples!! Go to @michelledudleyphotography to see more!
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#michelledudleyphotography #dudleybrides #mdp2018couples #oakglen #snowline #snowlineorchard #applefarm #lifestyle #weddinginspiration #weddingphotography #wedding #weddingphotomag #flashesofdelight #mybeautifulmess #woodedweddings #bohowedding #inspiremyinstagram #vsco #vscocam #vscocamphotos #lookslikefilm #skrt
User Image michelled24 Posted: Nov 6, 2017 5:48 AM (UTC)
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So I heard today was #NationalLoveYourRedHairDay! Since I rarely take selfies and I've taken more being a redhead than I have in the past year, I thiiiiiink that means I love my red hair. So, ummm, yeah! I love my red hair! ❤️
Did you guys see my latest maternity post on @michelledudleyphotography?! It's so cuuuuute!!! I don't post a ton of my professional work here (maybe I should) so make sure you're following and showing some love over there!! Thaaaanks!!
P.S. Still have some mini session spots available for Fall/Holiday photos!! DM me for details!! 🙋🏻📷💕
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#dodgerbaby #sohappyforthem #coolparentsclub #pregnant #pregnancy #pregnantbelly #bump #babybump #maternity #maternityphotography #redlandsmaternityphotographer #babyshower #babyboy #inspiration #inspo #inspiredpregnancy #sunset #thatlight #backlight #glowing #pregnantandperfect #stylishbump #bumping #bumpandi #100layercaklet #thatlighttho
User Image michelled24 Posted: Nov 1, 2017 6:56 PM (UTC)
michelled24
dudley2224
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I'm ready for sweater weather!! 😂😂 #imalwayscold
User Image michelled24 Posted: Oct 28, 2017 4:08 AM (UTC)
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When you're forced to photobomb your sister's story when you just want to sip on your chocolate milk. 😹 #meow #fbf #flashbackfriday