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@flowerboyproject inside @freehandhotels in downtown. Love that they have a closer location!

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User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 18, 2018 4:56 PM (UTC)
7 Juno
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 18, 2018 2:44 AM (UTC)
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We got together for drinks @checkerhall (so pretty there, btw) and talked about my favorite subjects - branding and marketing. So many thoughts on Instagram algorithm too. 🤔
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 15, 2018 7:32 PM (UTC)
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User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 14, 2018 4:20 PM (UTC)

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Sharing a cup of coffee with my husband and eating heart shaped pizzas for dinner with our kids sounds like the best valentine’s plan to me.
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 13, 2018 7:06 PM (UTC)

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When I started my photography career, I encountered some not-so-nice people in the industry. They didn’t care about my sad life or that I had no interest in competing with them and just wanted to make extra income to support my little girl. One day I realized how people only look up to the ones that are doing well and they’re more willing to give the already-doing-well more chances. So I became this wizard hiding behind the curtain and created a giant version of me to put out there. Every tweet I posted was loud - I was always busy, doing so well, getting inquiries left and right. “LOOK! I JUST SHOT THIS WEDDING!” The louder I was, the more narcissistic I was, the more work I got. I functioned that way for so long that I got used to it and had forgotten about *me* behind the curtain.
When I met James, who is now my husband, 4 years ago, I was so afraid to let him know the “fake” side of me. I even told him not to google about me because I wanted him to know the real me, who’s shy and quiet, and not the giant persona I created. But he didn’t care what versions I was, he only saw *me*, which made me slowly stepped out of the curtain and show/share myself more.
The thing is, though, I didn’t know who I was in this career anymore. I didn’t know what to do with myself because I was not the giant! I had been carrying this self doubt for the past few years and up to last year and even last month. But few days ago I saw a picture that I took from 3 years ago. I wasn’t in the picture, but my presence was there and I could see me feeling so little and didn’t belong and that hit me hard. I screamed from the inside of me - Oh my gosh, Bonnie, you’re the same as anyone that’s on this earth, you’re just as good of a person as the ones that hired you, you’re just as valuable and amazing as the person standing next to you. You want to blend into the background? You can’t, people will see you because *you* are the giant. The giant is part of you your whole life. The things that you bravely did for your family and yourself, that was you. Embrace your awkwardness, but trust that the giant is there too.
#authentic #selflove #truth
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 11, 2018 4:47 PM (UTC)

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Favorite part is licking the sugar off my lips.
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 10, 2018 6:41 PM (UTC)
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I’ve been eating a lot of Ham&Cheese and Bread Pudding Croissants @thenomadhotel in #dtla these days because they make me happy. Thank you, pastry chef @markwelker! #bonnietsanglaeats
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 10, 2018 3:23 PM (UTC)

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Quick snap from a shoot for @robertsiegelstudio, which I also got to play with styling. Thanks to creative director, @czarczar, for pumping and sharing all of her creative juices. // @bonnietsangstudio
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 9, 2018 3:42 PM (UTC)

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We are too sleepy, but happily let her get into our bed in the middle of the night now. She’s becoming our heater and birth control. 😅
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 8, 2018 2:44 PM (UTC)

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Wrote this down when I was listening to an interview of Maya Angelou with @parisreview - “There is, I hope, a thesis in my work: we may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated. That sounds goody-two-shoes, I know, but I believe that a diamond is the result of extreme pressure and time. Less time is crystal. Less than that is coal. Less than that is fossilized leaves. Less than that it’s just plain dirt. In all my work, in the movies I write, the lyrics, the poetry, the prose, the essays, I am saying that we may encounter many defeats—maybe it’s imperative that we encounter the defeats—but we are much stronger than we appear to be and maybe much better than we allow ourselves to be. Human beings are more alike than unalike. There’s no real mystique. Every human being, every Jew, Christian, backslider, Muslim, Shintoist, Zen Buddhist, atheist, agnostic, every human being wants a nice place to live, a good place for the children to go to school, healthy children, somebody to love, the courage, the unmitigated gall to accept love in return, someplace to party on Saturday or Sunday night, and someplace to perpetuate that God. There’s no mystique. None. And if I’m right in my work, that’s what my work says.” .
#mayaangelou #quote #orange #nature #defeat #strength
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 7, 2018 7:54 PM (UTC)
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I drove passed the homeless area on the way to breakfast and to get some work done. Saw a woman wearing a dress and sweeping the ground, which made me think maybe she has lived on that street long enough that she’s treating it as her home now and that made me sad. .
Sometimes unfortunate circumstances push us to the edge and we can’t see our way out other than fall. We fall hard to the very bottom, broken up into little pieces and don’t see any possibilities of picking ourselves up in whole. I’ve been there. When I was left in 25k debt from divorce, I didn’t have any income because I was a stay-at-home mom. It’s easy to tell myself now, “Just get a job!” But when I had nothing other than fear hanging out with me at that time, all I heard was, “You haven’t worked for more than a year, you know nothing, no one’s going to hire you! And what are you going to do with your kid when you go to work? There’s nothing you can do, just give up.”
Thankfully, I couldn’t give up because of my child. And gratefully because of that experience I’ve learned now to put fear’s hand off my shoulder and always look for solution, the next small step, just anything to get myself moving. If you’re feeling like falling off the edge, don’t look down to the rocky bottom and allow fear to tell you “oh... you’re not going to survive this.” It means well, but it’s not helping you. Give it a big smile, turn around and go look for the closest step you can take - a rock to step on, a branch to hold onto, a cave that’s underneath where you can rest and decide your next closest step. Take it one step at a time and slowly you’ll get to safety. It took me more than 5 years to pay off that debt. Remember to keep making decisions, to keep moving, so you don’t sit around with fear for too long.
#fear #strength #determination #selfhelp #dontgiveup
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 5, 2018 2:21 PM (UTC)

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Monday can’t see us. 🙈 When I used to have a 9-5 job, the thought of seeing friends at work, what to eat by my desk for breakfast and where to go get lunch made me look forward to go to work even on a Monday morning. Life was simple because the mind was simple. So, I’m going to simplify the mind - today will only be meditation, good breakfast, write in my journal, light lunch and go for a walk. #selfcare #mentalhealth #selflove #monday #yellow #theprintswap
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 5, 2018 1:03 AM (UTC)

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We don’t watch super bowl, but we are eating a lot snacks and pizzas today.
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 3, 2018 3:22 PM (UTC)
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After the divorce, I immediately dated several people. It was out of fear, out of still relying on others to find happiness, and out of not knowing how to be alone. Then I met a guy, he taught me how to love myself, encouraged me to face my fears, broadened my world view, and most importantly he was there when I was pursuing photography. I needed extra income on top of a full time job to get out of debt from divorce. I didn’t have child support, often had to sell my things for little money, collection companies called at all hours. He guided/taught/encouraged me to get out of that bad situation.
When my photography career was picking up, I became busy - still had a day job, a full time mom and pursuing something that I’m proud of and can own. But he grew unhappy with wanting to support me and not wanting to. Maybe I was learning how to fly too fast? I chose photography and gave up the relationship.
For months I was hit by depression with tremendous guilt, but God had a plan for me because I was busier than ever and didn’t get to curl up in bed for too long being on the verge of giving up photography and return to where I was. Because I signed on many NY wedding jobs a year prior, I had to fly there several times every few weeks, which turned out to be a healing process. I liked to fly redeye, so I could get to NY when no one was on the streets. It’s quiet, but with the energy from previous night still lingered in the air. At 5 or 6am, it would just be my film toy camera, my own thoughts and my sadness. Produced large body of personal work during that time and never really share with anyone, but here’s one - an old lady walked by, head held high, alone but not lonely. I saw something in her that uplifted me and I quickly took the picture.
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Feb 2, 2018 1:46 AM (UTC)

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As an introvert, I hustle quietly, hustle alone, and hustle in my own safe space. I can’t talk in front of the camera in my stories. In fact, I get nervous watching others (even my own friends) talk in their stories because they’re so close to me! 😅 I can’t do OOTD. I can’t show my face too much on my feed. But that’s ok. I like to share my thoughts, I like to share the mundane, I like to be in the shadow. My work is my spokesperson. There are many paths to success. I think us introverts like to find those hidden paths or roads less travel and that’s pretty cool. / Photo by my talented @missvenise .
#introvert #knowyourworth #knowthyself #selfacceptance
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Jan 31, 2018 3:55 PM (UTC)

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Grateful that majority of the jobs I get are fun and fulfilling, but sometimes there are those that aren’t what I’m into. I struggled with that once and a friend said to me, “The work you do for your clients belong to them. They are not yours. That’s why it’s important to have personal projects, so you can try things out, have fun with them and they belong to you.” That was great advice when I was still new to the profession. I also learned to say no to things that I know I wouldn’t be able to bring all of “me” into it. Not just saying no for myself, but for others too. People worked hard for their money and they deserve to get the best out of spending that cash; plus, it’s good to let go and allow someone else who could bring their best into the job. Sitting in my office right now, rolled some Hustle oil (from @salvagelife, btw, it’s been so helpful!) on my wrists, took a sip of hot coffee and about to look through all of my personal work (they’re mostly polaroids and film) to see what I can do with them. Scan them and put them online? Sell and let them go? Make prints? Any suggestions are welcome. •

#bonnietsangstudio #creative #creativity #desk #workspace #business #working #office #success #entrepreneur #morning #day #polaroids #fujiinstax #organization #photographer #lifestylephotographer #businessowner #businesswoman #workingmom #artistlife #photographerlife
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Jan 31, 2018 2:40 AM (UTC)

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My new favorite thing to do - share a donut with her.
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Jan 30, 2018 4:08 PM (UTC)
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So many things on the mind - call IRS, upload photos for clients, issue invoices, reply email, deposit those checks, follow up with accountant, do bookkeeping, get paper towels, what to feed baby for lunch... Makes me want to cancel anything that’s related to having fun, like getting coffee with a friend, because I need to be responsible and get things done. But since I’ve been trying to be more mindful I have to change that mindset (otherwise I’m just going in a loop), so I’m letting myself enjoy one thing a day during these busy days. “Let’s sit down, sip this good cup of coffee slowly. You deserve it.” So go enjoy at least one thing that you love today and tell yourself, “I’m worth it.”

#selflove #selfcare #loveyourself #selfworth #positivity #mentalhealth #mindfulness #gratitude #meditation #healing #lifecoach #positivevibes #selfesteem #lightworker #positive #selfhelp #selfacceptance #enlightenment
User Image bonnietsang Posted: Jan 30, 2018 6:16 AM (UTC)
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Find your tribe. People in your tribe should share similar life values and priorities. My tribe is a group of people that would say family is their number one priority, that their energy level might be low because of their kids, but they are dedicated to their creativity and work, that they’ll help nurture my pre-mature ideas and cheer me on when my ideas become reality. Thankful for the invitation from @thenomadhotel that I got to see some of these friends today - @thestaceysun, @murphydeesign and @juliewolfson. // Off topic, check out my stories to tour the new hotel. It is so gorgeous.