2,272 Posts

dariavideos Helen - (walking by) Hi! Gotta change, dinner meeting.
Jake - Did something happen?
Daria - Hmm... depends on your perspective.
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dariavideos Quinn - (walking by) Hi! No dinner for me! Emergency meeting of the Fashion Club!
Daria - I'll make up a nice plate for you and cover it up with cling wrap.
Jake - That was Quinn.
Daria - Yes, but you still haven't identified our first mystery guest.
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dariavideos Daria - Can't talk now. I'm chairing a meeting of the Resting Quietly Club.
Helen - I'm serious. When you apply to college, they're gonna be looking for that kind of thing. Right, Jake?
Jake - Hmm.
Daria - They're going to be looking to see whether I can pay for school.
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dariavideos Helen - (grabs newspaper) Tell her!
Jake - Yes, what?
Helen - About the importance of extracurricular activities for getting into college.
Jake - Oh. Well, these days it's more about whether you can pay.
Helen - You're not helping me.
Daria - Have you thought about a living will, Dad?
Jake - Do you think I need one?
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dariavideos Jake - What a great idea. How come you don't ever play your flute anymore, Daria?
Daria - Because you ran over it when I was in fifth grade, which was two years after I quit playing anyway.
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Daria - Mmm-hmm. She's a big joiner.
(at the Lane house)
Jane - No way, baby.
Daria - Come on. Do it for friendship.
Jane - I have no friends. I walk alone.
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dariavideos Daria - Well, then, do it for sisterhood or something.
Jane - Are you nuts?
Daria - Then do it for the opportunity to look inside people's houses and find out what screwed-up tastes they have.
Jane - I'm bringing a Polaroid.
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dariavideos Brittany - Have you been practicing your lines for the coffeehouse?
Kevin - Awww, they give me a headache, babe.
Brittany - Kevin, please learn them. Or I might get a headache.
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Mr. DeMartino - Well, well. Kevin and Brittany. What a delightful surprise.
Kevin - Ah, hi!
Mr. DeMartino - You've come, no doubt, to apologize for your academic performance.
Kevin - Um, no!
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Mr. DeMartino - To what do I owe the pleasure?
Kevin - We're raising money for the new Lawndale young adult's coffee house! Would you like to buy some holiday wrapping paper?
Brittany - We've got religious, festive, and/or monteldomitational!
Kevin - That's nondominational, babe.
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Mr. DeMartino - Am I the sort of man who engages in trite observations, Brittany?
Brittany - Uhh... no?
Mr. DeMartino - Excellent, Brittany.
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Mr. DeMartino - While you're on a roll, am I the sort of man who you suppose believes in underwriting the indolence of students who already display the work habits of garden slugs?
Brittany - Uh... I'll go with "no" again?
Mr. DeMartino - Very good, Brittany!
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dariavideos Mr. DeMartino - Now, Kevin, given what we have learned from Brittany's razor sharp observations, is there anything more you'd like to say before departing from my doorstep in an uncomfortable hurry?
Kevin - Uhhh, do you wanna buy a chocolate bar?
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Quinn - Hi! I'm selling long distance phone cards.
Danny - I just use a credit card.
Quinn - Oh. Well, are you really happy with the service?
Danny - Um, uh, it's fine.
Quinn - I mean, are you really happy?
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Quinn - Are you ever, like, really looking forward to talking to someone, and then you can't hear them because of crackling and static?
Danny - Not...
Quinn - I mean, I know that if I were your friend and you were calling me, I'd want to listen to you, not some static. I mean, you have a really nice voice.
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Quinn - Oh, that's okay, Danny, I understand. I'll see if Pete wants to come over.
Danny - But I said...
Quinn - Bye!
Danny - Wait!
Quinn - Click. See what can happen with bad long distance service, Danny?
Danny - Who's Pete?
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dariavideos Daria - Uh, hi. I'm selling chocolate bars for the new student coffeehouse.
Mrs. Johannsen - New coffeehouse?
Jane - Our cybercafé got trashed.
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Video Daria Morgendorffer
dariavideos Mrs. Johannsen - I enjoy chocolate. Doctor says I'm not supposed to have too much of it, but he wouldn't mind if it's for a good cause.
(Mrs. Johannsen steps to the side, and Jane raises camera and takes a photograph)
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dariavideos Jane - All of them? Really?
Daria - You sure that's okay with your doctor?
Mrs. Johannsen - It's okay as long as he don't know about it! Dammit! Where's that purse?
(Mrs. Johannsen then coughs, faints, and falls to ground)
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dariavideos Jane - Do you know CPR or anything?
Daria - I once gave the Heimlich maneuver to Quinn.
Jane - Did it work?
Daria - She wasn't choking.
Jane - We should be doing something now. I'm sure of it.
Daria - Yeah, I think you're right.
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