114 Posts

lacuenco Walked at sunset to sort my thoughts and revisited a poem written about my mind space in 2013. #reflecting #poem #dailyquote #lc #yikes #unsteady #sfsunset #fog #sf #homeiswherethebayis #bay #ggb
I once swallowed a bronzed sun whole.
they called me a hero
they called me a professional
they called it work.
I swallowed this patient’s depression, these 5150 documents, these conservatorships meetings, these suicidal thoughts.
I swallowed that patient’s twitching palms, his dirty nails, his unsteady gait, his veil bed, his hands tightening around my neck, his urine, his feces, these incident reports.
I swallowed this patient’s last hope, her chronic constipation, her feeding tube slithering down her esophagus, her final tears and last regrets, her family’s pain and this steady voice that is the organ donor’s hotline.
I swallowed clostridium difficile, ara-c, 5fu, her double mastectomy, adenocarcinoma, his lice, her chlamydia secrets that will haunt her conscience forever.
I swallowed her tunneling wounds, her kci wound vac sucking the venom caused by her repeated self injections of this drug or that drug.
Drugs, I swallowed those too.
I swallowed a doctor’s loss, death, aloofness, guilt and their sleepless, drunken, self medicated nights.
A post-traumatic life covered by coffee grounded stains and coagulated blood baths.
I swallowed a manager’s restless eyebrows, his and her disquiet, his anger, her disappointment, and his lack of concern for this hero’s well being.
I swallowed the noxious belief that I could
be important
could be a catalyst of transformation
All this I’ve swallowed
and it sits like
a lead brick
in my stomach
like a demon
clawing its way out
of my throat
undoing all that I ever believed
and here I am committing myself to a sun bronzed nightmare.
5d

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tessiepantz Things I love about California: Sunshine and palm trees. #sunshineland #palmtrees #sunnydays #california #caligirl #homeiswherethebayis #googlegirl 1mon

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ladyprindle .new friend. 4mon

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yogabyvictoria Today's open water swim Pt Richmond. SF looking rainy in the distance #swimming #openwater #gopro #homeiswherethebayis 6mon

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lastofadyinbreed Everyday with every word whispered
We get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing last forever but be honest, babe
It hurts but it may be the only way #lovemyhome #homeiswherethebayis #sfbayarea #sunsets #tildenpark #birdseyeview
6mon

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ladyprindle .labyrinth. 9mon

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