271,654 Posts

porcelain_butterfly_ Someone, anyone just help. Tips, advice, anything. I'm stuck at 5 pounds above my highest weight. I can't go down, I'm only going up.
I can't stop. Hellllppp
16min

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bruises_and_poetry This kind of looks like blood, but it's a bruise. The way edited it makes it look really dark and blood - like lol.
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#depressed #depression #ana #anorexia #donteat #sad #blithe #cut #cutting #fat #ugly #worthless #ed #eatingdisorder #skinny #suicide #suicidal #thin #face #body #skin #personality #scars #life #heart #love #lame #sorry
15min

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fucking.suicide We aren't dating this is just someone I have liked for a while now. I've known him for almost 4 years. Can you see how much of an idiot I am. He would never love me back. Ugh! #worthless #ednos #razors #ugly #useless #insecure #insecurities #ana #anxiety #anorexia #scars #starve #stupid #suicide #selfhate #suicidal #suicidalpoems #suicidalthoughts #death #donteat #depressed #depression #fuckup #cuts #cutting #blithe #bulimia #bulimic #mistake 29min
  •   fucking.suicide We have so many cute nicknames for each other and we say I love you and things a lot and it's just what makes us comfortable with each other. 27min
  •   coldrockluke I love you. And he loves you. Stay yourself, and the right people will love you. 14min
  •   fucking.suicide I just it's complicated. @coldrockluke 7min
  •   coldrockluke It's okay, complications are things that we occasionally have to go through. The lines may be blurred now, but you'll eventually work everything out. I know it. 6min
  •   fucking.suicide @coldrockluke thanks. We're talking now. 5min
  •   coldrockluke Of course. Everything will work itself out, just wait. 15s

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xeatingisimperfect My hip is killing me, I cant even move... Cat's mom made some really good vegan sandwiches for us today
Xx Nel
#Ana #anorexic #Mia #bulimic #secret_society123 #donteat #size0 #size00 #skinnyisperfect #starve #ed #eatingdisorder #ednos #xeatingisimperfect
34min

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skinnyb.tch Felt fine about those oreos I ate earlier until my mom decided to take me out for sushi and ofc I ate half the roll plus yellow curry with rice. Fuckkkk. Trying to forgive myself. At least I didn't eat any of the frozen custard my mom tried to get me to. 46min

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bloodysuicide I will post a selfie when I reach 200 follows . I love you all and thank you guys for liking my dits , it honestly means so much to me that people find my edits nice and I love you all so much , thanksfor being here for me . I'm here if you need me . -Cathyxx 54min

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thefaultiinourscars -
Tommy,
I love you. I love you so much. I miss you, we all miss you. I know you didn't want this to happen, and it fucking sucks that it did, but I'll see you again one day. thank you, for everything. I can't wait to see you again, we can take more random pictures at the beach
R.I.P, Tommy
I'll see you soon
1h

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thefaultiinourscars -
I stayed in bed for the entire days following. the next few weeks had been full of funeral planning, visits from friends and family, crying and mourning. at the funeral, a slideshow of his pictures with everyone played. this song was in it^ my favorite part, was the occasional laughs throughout the slideshow, at pictures and memories. that's what he loved to do, make people laugh. there was a slide from the last time we had gone shark fishing together. we never caught anything, just ended up taking a whole bunch of stupid but hilarious pictures. i have those all in an envelope, along with all my birthday cards and such from him by my bed, with a blue stuffed unicorn I had gotten from him for Christmas when I was 3.
We decided to have his body cremated, and to divide the ashes up, and put them in the places he loved most, and would love to eternally be. one part was spread onto the sand of his favorite beach, and some into the water between two fishing poles. he was a great fisherman, caught many sharks and absolutely loved the beach. another part was spread at the top of the mountain where my grandpa lives. my uncle used to go up to the top of the mountain, to relax or get cell phone reception. he loved it up in the mountains just as much as the beach. another part was put into a cemetery, and another part was divided up to his closest family. my mom had hers made into a necklace, so she always wears it, and he's always with her.
it's been exactly 7 months since he passed. but it still hurts just as much as the day it happened. he was the most amazing man Ive ever met, and ever will meet. I can't explain it, that would take too long, but there's no one like him. I remember at his memorial service, looking around, and seeing everyone who was there. every seat was taken, there were people lining each wall. not to mention, everyone who couldn't make it. the amount of people there, the amount of people hes impacted in just 30 years is more than most people do in 90. my uncle has done so much, not just for me but for everyone. and even though his life was short, way too short, I'm so grateful for being able to spend 13 years of my life with him.
1h

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thefaultiinourscars -
January 30th, 2014. it was the first good day I had had in a while. I even posted about it on here... I said "wow, first good day in a while." things were okay. I thought it would all get better. I got off the bus. my mom was waiting at my bus stop to pick me up. I was in a good mood, great actually. "how was your day?" she asked, to which I responded with "pretty good actually." that's when she pulled over, stopped the car, and looked at me. "...what are you doing?" I asked. her eyes filled with tears. "My brother died last night.." she said, years slipping from her eyes. I froze, I wasn't sure I had heard her correctly. my uncle? my uncle who had just turned 30? my uncle who was one of the most amazing people Ive ever been blessed to have in my life? no. he couldn't have.. "what?" I questioned, all color and emotion drained from me. I sat, frozen stiff. my legs were weak, I couldn't move. I had to have misheard her. "You didn't know this..." she started, "but he's had problems with drugs.. and last night, he overdosed. Your grandma went to wake him up this morning, and he would get up.. that's when she got worried and called 911, but by then..... it was too late." by this point I was hyperventilating, even though I was breathing extremely fast, I couldn't seem to get enough air to my lungs. "when he went up with my dad to North Carolina for 6 months, it was for him to get away from all of it. he wanted to get better. he had registered to go into rehab when he got back.... but he never got to do that." she finished, tears now coating her cheeks. that's when I broke. I was in such shock that I could barely cry. a few tears slipped. I couldn't breathe, or talk, or move. a good day had turned into the day I fell apart. we drove home, and I walked out of the car completely numb. I walked into my house, to see all of my family, aunts, grandparents, cousins, everyone, sobbing, hugging. I walked in and threw my bags down. my aunt came over and hugged me and I broke down. sobbing, shaking, saying why. those next few weeks, family was over every day. my aunt and grandma stayed with us, since they couldn't handle going back home, where he had lived.
1h

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sadchildren I am so good at pretending to be ok when in reality I'm dying on the inside. 1h

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