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Willow Intimate with Death
intimatewithdeath What the fuck? I ate a lot today. Ok, I'm fine. I battled those awful thoughts for a while, still am, but I was ok more or less. But then that stupid boy came over to hang out with Em. That triggered my anxiety and jealousy. And it was all in the middle of me working on this big project for class with my group. Didn't say anything about this dude coming over. The second everyone was gone, they were out, disappeared to her room with the door closed.

My anxiety and self-loathing are off the charts to the point that I just vomitted I was so worked up. I almost didn't make it to the bathroom. I feel disgusting. I feel so alone. Unloved. Fuck. Here comes the spiral again. Here it is. Falling. Perpetually falling.

I can't stop crying. And no one notices.

I wish J were home. She's visiting her family out of state. So who do I have now? The one time I'd be willing to go to J with this and she isn't here. It's probably because she isn't here.

#Sue #Deb #Mia #Perry #BPD #Sad #Depressed #Anxiety #BiPolar #SelfHarmmm #Hopeless #WasteOfSpace #Help #HelpMe #IllHelpYou #Strength #Together #Lonely #Bruised #Bruises #OnlySkinDeep #Cut #Cuts #Broken #SelfHatred #LowSelfEsteem #Beauty #IWantToBePretty #LowBodyImage #SelfLoathing
5min

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