14,705 Posts

white_tucker14 New back wheel #bmx #alienation #salt lol thanks @rileybeckk611 @ejjudd198 13min

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____1996___ Enfin ce bout de papier #cfc #alienation 10h

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dannyspry Put on my new wheels today. Front rim is alienation delinquent rear rim is alienation runaway. Hubs are colony clone. #colony #alienation #bmx 12h

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12h zitaoge
Normal ☆EXO-L★2014.8.5☆
zitaoge [My edit please credit]
Sometimes being a kpop fan is hard. I think all kpop fans go through these bouts of depression when they just ache to hold or touch or even just actually SEE their idols. It hurts so much sometimes. You so desperately love these people to get a mere blink and "thank you" directed towards a crowd.
I'm so jealous of other fans who have friends who are also kpoppers. You know, I could handle being a nerd, being book obsessed, being on Tumblr, having this big ol vocabulary, but being a kpop is so lonely. It's scary. I'm so afraid, just so SCARED to tell someone I like kpop, or even them something I find exciting or cool. I get glares and eyerolls and annoyance and laughter and judgement and its not that I'm not proud to be a kpop fan, I am, I'd scream out that I love my group to prove my love, its just that I'm so scared of the judgement. I already get so much so when I see the thing I've grown to love so much cause me to be alienated I feel so lost. I already ache, being a fan, but being alone hurts just as much. I can't mention my instagram, my tumblr, anything. It hurts. I just wanna share my love for this but I don't want to be hurt more.
It's difficult.
*sigh*
God. I just feel like utter shit now. This is the third night. First I had a stupid self pity fit, last night I had a fucking anxiety attack, now tonight this. Smh. I'm tired of feeling sad and being broken and unhappy with myself. It's driving me crazy. I wish I wasn't so weak.
#kpop #kpopdepression #bias #biasgroup #exo #tao #exoL #lonely #scared #alienation #anxiety
12h
  •   daelying I know how you feel,like I get a panic attack before every single one of my presentations because I had a really bad experience once.Everytime I think abt it I just cry and I totally relate to you abt kpop,like I don't really have friends that are in to kpop and those who are in to groups I'm not,so I'm can't really fangirl out loud in real life and those kpop haters out there doesn't help either 11h
  •   zitaoge @daelying mines over driving :/ I don't really like driving and it makes me nervous and then I had to drive 3 people who were loud while I didn't feel good home in the dark. I just ended up sobbing all the rest of the way home after dropping everyone off. So I definitely feel for you on the presentation thing <3 and yeah :/ it seriously sucks that there aren't more people into kpop. Like I see these girls with all their other Asian friends that like kpop and I just end up sighing in envy 11h
  •   rapmonsterisperfect Aww, babe you shouldn't have to worry about things like that, this is something you love, and if people take the mick because of that you should just ignore them, because at the end of the day its your life, not theirs, you shouldn't worry about the things that may annoy them, you should worry about the thing that is annoying YOU, and you should solve it!
    And even maybe there could be a possibility that other people that you know like kpop, or you could even get others interested in kpop, i know it sounds hard, but its not like your commiting a crime, or being a freak, because kpop is music, and a lot if people listen to music!
    And when others see that these people and their music make you happy,they would want to listen to it. Honestly, just try and be honest to yourself. There is no point hiding your identity, you love kpop and if people dont like that then they should fuk off, coz you have a whole kpop family that will love you, and will all wish to live near you so they could batter those fugly bullies. 11h
  •   daelying I know how you feel over driving,maybe not to your extend but I always feel like I'm gonna hit something every time I speed up.Also it doesn't help I have a presentation coming up in two weeks time and when I go to uni I probably have to do more :/ I sigh in envy when ppl have friends into the same groups,the sad life of being a hidden kpop fan :( 11h
  •   zitaoge @daelying same! It's very nerve wracking. *sigh* Ah :( Good luck! I know you'll do great. Eat something yummy right before hand so you want feel as bad! And bring something small for your hands to play with. And just have fun! Think less as of it getting a grade and more like showing your friends about something youve learned! And for reals. Kpop life is hard. 9h
  •   zitaoge @rapmonsterisperfect Ohmygod thank you... <3 that actually brightened my spirits a bit. You are wonderful, thank you <3 9h
  •   daelying Thank you :,) 5h

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