yungtasha last name ever, first name greatest 1d

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yungtasha I awake with imprints on my skin from the covers and wonder if that's what it's like when you left me, over & over. admonishing myself that being covered up like graffiti was the only way youd love me. had I ever been imprinted onto you, did whatever we had tale a couple of minutes to blot red & disappear?
forgetting your name does not count as an amber alert as I don't exist on the sides of milk cartons.
so maybe raindrops on windows disguise the drizzle my eyes have created a home in, but hurricanes seek your heartbeat & youve always been the eye of my storm.
there is some days I open my back door & cry out your name as if youll return to this home you'd always be welcomed too. reminding myself one day you walked through the door frame and forgot where you left me. every time I try I find myself leaving the door unlocked even when your a province away. I want you back so bad I dont think Ill ever change the locks. but you've lost the keys I suppose.
sometimes I go to the corner of the street we last saw each other on & hold a cardboard sign scribbled "I just want to go home" on it.
you buried me away under a tombstone engraved goodbye, your fingerprints are stroll on my corpse. I can feel their presence on my hips like you never left. I may be a walking funeral but the flowers you left still bring dรฉjร  vu upon my mind.
Ive been tally marking these stone walls. a prisoner hiding in between your rib bones. feeding me meals of "I'll be there for you." & opening windows that whisper never again.
but no matter what I do I will never be able to see your eyes alive with roaring forest fires again. I am being prosecuted for those ashes, I never told you how much I loved fireball but you guessed when you set yourself ablaze using my last bottle.
this could never be my fault & this crime scene feels like the empty setting you left me in. I am not broken hearted, I am just trying to come to terms with this. you left a broken bottle on my doorstep the day you left, I am so sorry. I have been trying to find myself in the falls puzzle of you. only now I realize that cutting myself on your edges & losing my own within your eyes was like feeding this fire, too god damn much.
2w

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yungtasha my mums making me breakfast because exams 4w

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yungtasha got you wrapped around my finger babe, you can count on me to misbehave 1mon

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yungtasha the devil doesn't wear prada, I'm clearly in a fuckin white tee ๐Ÿ˜ˆ 1mon

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yungtasha why don't you show me the lil bit of spine you've been saving for her mattress โšฐ 1mon

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yungtasha I'm sick of you and the way you don't appreciate The Smiths or Morrissey ๐Ÿšฎ !!! 1mon

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yungtasha make her rob a mothafuckin bank with no mask on and a rusty revolver 1mon
  •   aariya.s I wanna do dat^^ if only I had a button to a diff life where I got nothing to lose. ๐Ÿฝ 1mon

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yungtasha I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me 2mon

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yungtasha cuz youre the cigarette and I'm the smoker ๐Ÿ—ฃ 2mon

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yungtasha you're so good at talking smack, you heart attack 2mon

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yungtasha this isn't another love poem but it's about someone I loved. or love. I still don't know. this is just a collection of thoughts I don't know how to connect without you but it's still you.
I confused friendship and temporary with words like love and potentially which twisted into obsession and necessary. I feel the need to apologize but I'm scared to speak sometimes because it makes this real when it shouldn't be.
eventually I have to choose an answer for this quiz and honestly I choose you but I will never be an option for you anymore. you knew from the start the difference between real and make believe. for me, the two will always be blurred. you were my glasses to see through.
a nightmare I once had; I tell you "I would drop everything just to hold you" and you said, "I didn't ask you too" (and in that moment I understood)

I have replaced "you" with a drug and became an addict when you told me 7 years. this is what an addict could understand, us.
I realize I am addicted to a person, there won't ever be a medical term to describe this but the doctors speculate "borderline". and I am all "borderline what? dysfunctional? manipulative? obsessive? compulsive? emotionally unstable? trust me, I know." I know I know I know I know and I'm sorry I knew.
I will never know if you meant anything you said, but some days I hope you did and other days I wish you could tell me that you didn't mean any of it because it would be easier to let all these memories and thoughts of you go.

no longer seeing you in the steam of my coffee, or the sugar I drown out my coffee in. the light through my shades and the brightest one on my floor, where I sit and remember your smell and your deafening smile. I wonder what made you laugh the loudest or how many bands in your braces broke today.
i am just being honest when I tell my friends not to dip into toxic inkwells, warning them that love does not wash away in the dryer or just leave it will make a home in the lump in your throat even when you evict it.
this is the teenage tragedy of love purgatory. pen strokes of a seven year mistake I wish we never equated.
2mon

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