vampe Brought some more #killstarco stuff tonight, including a new leather jacket (nor that I don't have 3 anyways) but I lost my favourite one in Helsinki in 2012, feels strange buying "winter" clothes when it's 23:05 and still 27C outside. Can't wait for the fucking snow ! And ice! And minus degrees. Saw a decent specialist doctor today. And for $235 for 40 minutes, she better be! Hopefully my insides will now stop coming out. And I got around to re-submittinv my visa. Fingers crossed for me. And the rest of tonight I've spent laying in bed, under the fan and listening to old HIM on vinyl. 13h

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe This has been me for the last month. But it's more like "going anywhere outside my front door" not just to a social event. I even feel anxiety just laying in my bed. Jesus Christ, what is the deal. 4d
  •   revbutcher Me too, been getting the worst attacks lately. They suck hope you're sweet 4d
  •   vampe @revbutcher it's such a weird feeling after not having them for a while, isn't it? Mine kinds started again after I got fucked up on some meds I'm allergic to a few weeks ago. And since then it's felt like I am constantly on the verge of having a full blown attack. And a bit like coming off a xanax addiction again. P. S trying to bribe you and jade to come out on NYE. 4d

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe I've had this song on repeat for about the last 3 weeks. This band had slowly drifted out on my sight for a while now, until out of the blue someone mentioned them. Makes me a little sad and sort of happy that only one person I ever met, knew who they were! Now I have good memories attached to them. #taylorhanson #jamesiha #tintedwindows 6d

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Finally got a dress for #NYE, now let's hope I don't embarrass @miss_judged and lose a boob. 6d

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe This is actually how I feel right now. But replace test, with work. And the rest is true. 3 weeks of this shit. Fucking insomnia. 1w
  •   kodasoda1 Totally get it 1w
  •   vampe @kodasoda1 this is my whole existence at work at this point. From the moment I walk in the door, it's like one giant anxiety attack. 7d

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe So about 2 weeks ago,  I took some #stilknox (which I'm allergic to) that I got given when I left the hospital in august. It was mislabelled,  so I've had to make a complaint to the hospital committee. I blacked out for nearly 3 days. I have tiny recollections of things I said and did. Being incredibly rude to someone I had just started to like (which for me never happens) , arguing with my ex & bestfriend (which hasn't happened in 12 years, my legs are covered in bruises,  from what I CAN recall I tripped over and gave myself a blood nose and at that point my last dermal anchor got pulled out of my face.  I got some test results back on the last of my liver today and one of my kidneys is starting to fail now. So I have an appointment regarding dialysis, next week.
It's been a pretty awesome 2 weeks. I'm so non-confrontational these days, anti-drama and I like things to run kinda smooth,  calm and without effort,  it felt just like a huge blow up to my private life again,  and I feel borderline anxiety laden everyday when I get up now.
Things were going to well. And now they're just lame. And no apologising,  or just returning to my regularly scheduled programing seems to fix it. So to be honest I feel a bit lost. And like every ounce of time I spend in a public place, is filled with huge anxiety or people judging me on being a horrible person.
1w
  •   vampe @thebandroxs thanks love. Only wish I didn't have to work at the same time. I could deal with laying in bed for the next 6 weeks of this year. 1w
  •   taigalux fucking hell! sending you positivity in bucketloads xxx 1w
  •   vampe @taigalux thanks dude. Worst experience EVER. I woke up to a zillion weird messages and blood splashed all over the kitchen floor on Friday morning. I have to make a complaint to the department of health on Thursday. Ugh. They also have me sulphur based antibiotics as well. Which I had listed as both drugs I can't take. I don't know who the fuck was reading my charts that wake. But they also had a nurse who was only on PRAC removing a drainage tube from my liver, which was stitched!! In. Just one huge yank. I'm glad that my TL at work understands. Because she saw how bad I was the day after I came in. But ugh. The repercussions of this, this whole week are so bad. 1w
  •   sirpaulofktown Fuck, hope you feel better soon mate. Can't believe that this had happened. 1w
  •   gaffanaut *bug hugs* hope you feel better soon. That's awful. 1w
  •   vampe @sirpaulofktown i know. My health wasn't even this ridiculously bad when I lived in London. And then I had NO healthcare. I feel like such shit at the moment. And I have drama at work and drama at home. And we both know how anti-drama I am. 1w
  •   vampe @gaffanaut thanks Kat. I feel like trash right now. I wish I could take till the end of the year off, so I could just recover. 1w
  •   gaffanaut I wish you could too. xoxo 1w

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe I intend to not move for the rest of this week. My bed and I will become 1. 3w
  •   karlosman1 Kindred spirits, you and your bed! 3w

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Go out looking okay. Come home looking like sideshow bob being attacked by a makeup gun. Classy. 3w

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Pretty shocked that it's only 8 and I'm not still drowning the ozone layer in hairspray. 4w

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe I wish every day was Halloween. I always wish I didn't give myself a black eye last night. 4w

» LOG IN to write comment.

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Goodbye weekend! #xbox 4w

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Pretty much the extent of my Saturday night. #jeffbuckley #halloween and a #hue bedroom with vodka. 1mon

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe And I certainly did emotionally implode. 1mon

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Falling asleep while getting my neck tattooed. #necktattoo #tattoos #tattoo #redhead 1mon

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Grainy photo. But it's a bit clearer. Longitude and latitude tattoo of the only place I've ever felt at home. #tattoos #tattoo #longitudelatitude #finland #helsinki # redhead 1mon

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Doesn't look straight in the photo. But it's just me trying to get a photo. 1mon

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Changed over some ringtone on my phone for @christie_1985 , @miss_judged and @linda_nfs and connected my #hue lights to flicker if they go off. I have @rickygervais continually laughing for @methedryne and Bernard Black/Dylan Moran for @rehellinen 1mon

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe Blurry is good. #theteaparty 2mon

» LOG IN to write comment.

vampe One of my favourite bands since I was a teenager. Got me through a lot of shitty times. #jeffmartin #fireinherhead #theteaparty and he fell in love with a Perth girl. ;) 2mon

» LOG IN to write comment.