timwasher In discussing the merits of maturity Sunday with my 12 year-old, I veered into a story from the grad school days about how I short-sheeted my roommate’s bed. I started laughing so hard I couldn't finish. She was overwhelmed by curiosity about what the heck short-sheeting means, but I was laughing so hard I couldn’t get the words out to explain, and didn’t have a whiteboard or graph-paper handy for a proper illustration. Thankfully, about 5 minutes after bedtime last night, she had a comprehensive understanding of the prank. 2d

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timwasher The Asics MallWalkers. Built for humility. 3d

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timwasher Using the snowed-in time for family education. Hopefully she can pay for college by hustling pool 2w

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timwasher First session with my swim coach tonight. I think we'll start with the indoor pool 3w

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timwasher Cheeseburger & Comedy blog first stop of 2016 - The Headless Horseman with @roxydigital. 4w

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timwasher Cold day on the high line. #nyc #highline #hudsonriver 1mon

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timwasher Merry Christmas 1mon

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timwasher This beats the life-size abominable snowman at Khol's. #latergram #saks #nyc #christmas #lights 2mon

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timwasher Monster Mini Golf birthday. For party favors, they gave each kid a clean pair of shorts. 2mon

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timwasher I'm a sucker for the NYC Christmas trees 2mon
  •   fbisoldi ️sparkly2mon
  •   chandadevi I just got to NYC for work through Saturday. Gorgeous time of the year to be here! 2mon
  •   timwasher @chandadevi you're just in time for the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree lighting, Chanda! I'll send you a list of a few of my favorite scenes -- try not to get paint on anything 2mon
  •   chandadevi @timwasher Haha! Yes, please do! 2mon
  •   adeldemeyer 😇 2mon

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timwasher Thanksgiving is the perfect day to run, especially if you're a turkey. @bgcridgefield #5k #turkey trot 2mon

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timwasher Pillsbury doughboy face-plants after carb loading #macysparade #thanksgiving #nyc #centralpark 2mon
  •   altamirano Which side? 2mon
  •   homheroes NOTHING LIKE the MACYS Thanksgiving Day parade! 🦃 2mon
  •   sea___shelly Me tomorrow. 2mon
  •   timwasher @sea___shelly Macy's responded on Twitter and I used your joke for the reply. If it leads to a sponsorship with Small Appliances, you'll get a 25% cut. Or a Cuisinart. 2mon
  •   sea___shelly Kitchen-aid mixer in Tiffany blue please 2mon

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timwasher Beta-testing Instagram's Squiggly filter. #clouds #sunset #squigglylines #nofilter 3mon

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timwasher Hanging Christmas lights 3mon

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timwasher Synchronized leaf pile diving 3mon

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