thegermaine So yesterday we acquired this new gremlin thing that keeps squeaking, I think he might be a bit gay because he takes a lot of selfies in the gym mirror wearing those pink cat ears. Not that I'm judging, I'd just rather he played football and spied on expectant mothers. By the way, he doesn't have a name yet so please feel free to leave your suggestions below because at the moment his name is Cat. Short for Catherine
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4d
  •   ajla.15 I ova bebana sto si me tagovala je prelepa cela se razmazim hashah hocu da je mazim i ona da mi prede hahahah @aldina17r 3d
  •   frannywhy Charlotte??? please? It'll kick those gay tendencies... Heathen! 2d
  •   catcee What a fantastically fabulous most wonderful delightful name.... go with that 2d
  •   catcee So beautiful too ! 2d
  •   kokokarmesi lindo minino 2d
  •   flowephoto I thought Charlotte too for other reasons and it's still got Cat in it ๐Ÿ˜ฌ 2d
  •   robmulally 1d
  •   ladytamaya I know ... Vanilla Ice 1d

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Video _Sam ๐Ÿ˜Ž
thegermaine So I directed a little film today while frolicking around in the rapeseed field- it probably won't win any academy awards in terms of camera work () but I did write the music that accompanies this snippet of Pumpkin Elizabeth flying around like a little cardboard Peter Pan. If you want to see the full video including more of my hand and thumb gripping to his legs, then you can visit my Facebook page, the link to which is in my bio ๐ŸผHonestly, the video really is crap but I wanted to be all like LOOK I CAN WRITE MUSIC TOO!! #selfpromotion #notsorry enjoy!
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2w
  •   nancylhill Sure. Make it sound so easy! You're gifted and inspired. Inspiring, too!! Love your work. 1w
  •   ellephoto_ Wow! The music is like a happy climactic drama moment!!!! 1w
  •   zowie23 ๏ธ 1w
  •   adamhuston I hope P.Elizabeth doesn't have hay fever ๐Ÿ˜ but yes the music certainly sounds like it belongs on a movie soundtrack 1w
  •   ladytamaya Did you do a youtube of it ? Love the music and the video too 5d
  •   jenritterman Fantastic!๏ธ You and PLiz make a great team. 5d
  •   catcee Now your flying! 2d
  •   robmulally Beautiful. Movie and music. Love the timing as he flew up with the score 1d

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thegermaine You murdered the apple of my eye! That's not very knife! Yes. I went there
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By the way, big thanks to the emoji people for this new liberal multicultural emoticon selection. Now I can't find anything *red angry face >:( *
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ah found it.
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2w

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thegermaine The long walk back to his car was a lonely one after the 'Love Shack' turned out be room full of cucumbers and olive oil
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4w

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thegermaine Carousel ride at any normal fairground destination: โ‚ฌ1 ๐Ÿ’ถ
Carousel ride at the base of the Eiffel Tower: โ‚ฌ4.8bn and an ear ๐Ÿ’ถ
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1mon

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thegermaine Nice little #tent (that was supposed to say #tbt but autocorrect decided that tent was more apt and that a tbt doesn't actually exist unless your face is buried in a smart phone) to when the Cotswolds looked nice and purple because right now it looks very dead and very grey. Welcome to England!
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1mon

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Normal _Sam ๐Ÿ˜Ž
thegermaine So this whirlpool of coffee beans is one of a few coffee related photos I've sent to Starbucks- naturally without response, so instead, I thought I'd share it with you fine people. I showed this someone at work and they said 'wow how did you get the beans to spin around the cup?? Do you have a wind tunnel?!' Not entirely sure how a wind tunnel would produce this effect, but yes, I have a wind tunnel ๐Ÿ˜‘ I'm in the wrong job #starbucks #coffee
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2mon

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thegermaine So while I was on my little tripette to Paris last week, I was contacted by the lovely peeps at @danielwellingtonwatches who asked me to help promote their products and promotions (watches, if you weren't quite sure) in return for my very own pretty timepiece; which I have now photographed- see above ๏ธThey've also asked me to tell you that if you use my Instagram name (that's thegermaine) as a discount code you can get 15% off if you wanna treat yourself and look all fancy. Visit www.danielwellington.com to have a nose around. Disclaimer: my glasses, which I need for vision, and my arm which I need for, well, many purposes, are not included in this deal ๏ธ
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#dwpickoftheday #danielwellington
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2mon

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thegermaine Here's Mrs Siren sunning herself in Paris. She reminds me of my own girlfriend; long, flowing hair, cute coy smile, come-hither eyes and erm, cardboard ๐Ÿ˜•
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2mon

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thegermaine Pretty little view of the Champs ร‰lysรฉes from atop the Arc de Triomphe. If you get bored, count the cars. Leave your answers below. Unless of course you don't want to play then you are just not cool
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2mon

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thegermaine Hello, wench in a hat. You don't know I'm taking photos of you, but I am. She actually shot me the dirtiest look when she turned round and saw me with my camera. That's because I was basting oil onto my nipples with a ferret Bonjour from LA TOUR EIFFEL!
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3mon

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thegermaine C'mon bitches! Move it! Get that bird food out of my bread! You there! I'm not paying you to stare at her arse, that hat isn't hiding anything either, anymore of that and I'll spank yours! Yooooou dirty little TART!!!
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I just realised how unappealing bacon looks close up, and if you're one of those vegetarian people, or even worse, vegan then hush your anti bacon rantings. Someone's gotta eat the meat otherwise we'd be wading through PIGS!!! Your liberal outlook won't save you then when pigs' trotters are clawing at your bed. MWA HA HA
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3mon

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thegermaine One coke please, no ice ๏ธ
*waits*๐Ÿ˜€
Thanks. *shakes cup*
OH ๐Ÿ˜THANKS FOR MY COKE WITH THE ICE IN THAT I DIDN'T ASK FOR I'll now, instead, hand over my nugget for the little people to dunk dunk dunkaroo ๐Ÿšก
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I'll deduct points for those that comment 'I'm lovin' it' #mcdonalds
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3mon

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Normal _Sam ๐Ÿ˜Ž
thegermaine Vodka: the distillation of water, potatoes and ethanol used by consumption in order to achieve a state of garish inebriation, annoy anyone in one's immediate vicinity or to strip wallpaper
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3mon

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Normal _Sam ๐Ÿ˜Ž
thegermaine An Instagram account isn't complete without a photo of a lens ๐Ÿ˜ Happy pancake day!
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4mon

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Normal _Sam ๐Ÿ˜Ž
thegermaine The typical photo adorning spa brochures and healthcare magazines. Not really sure what it's supposed to signify..purity..cleanliness..hmm I did this photo in a dirty frying pan true story. Kinda boring photo, but it's been sitting in my little album thing on my phone and I needed to get rid
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4mon

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thegermaine I don't particularly like posting sunset photos because everybody posts them, usually accompanied by an irrelevant philosopher's quote, and they're so lame. ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜ด But here's one from Greece last year with a little lonely boat. Just after I took this I was savagely attacked by a hornet. Three times. I even squashed it with my glass and it reincarnated as a scorpion. No need. Not cool bro
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4mon

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thegermaine So my cousin asked me to make her some wedding invitations for her..wedding (surprisingly) and stated she didn't want anything generic and boring; presumably 'generic' means something off-white with gold writing and messages about love and forever blah blah blaaaaaaah vomit vomit, so instead I got to play with little plastic toys for an actual reason! Wine glasses, David Bowie CDs, computers and football are all 'personal' touches etc and the black pentagons on the balls are photos of her baby's scan Awwwwww yes mushy mushy
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4mon

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thegermaine I've been scrolling through my Instagram feed lately and it has become apparent that it's new year..?๐Ÿ˜ฏ Thanks for sharing with me your 'best moments' of 2014 on those flipagram things, I really enjoyed seeing your photos pop up. Again. ๐Ÿ˜‘ My New Year's resolution is to chop my feet off and attach them to my wrists so I can finally learn the violin and buy a saddle for my Dalmatian in order to ride him to cattle markets. I also need to buy a Dalmation. So here I insert my meaningless generic statement about wishing you the best for the new year and being happy and loved and not dying. Have a blast! ๏ธ๏ธ๐Ÿšœ๐Ÿšธ
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4mon

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thegermaine Here's my submission for the billions of lame photos in #selfiesunday
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By the way, before you ask, this photo isn't real in the slightest. I detest coffee ๐Ÿ˜๏ธ
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4mon

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