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suicideorlife BLOW UP MY ASK.FM :) LINK ON THE BIO!!!!! #ask#ask.fm#askme#askmeanything#anything#comeon#uknouwantto#doit 1y

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suicideorlife Everyday I feel like in homesick for a place that doesn't exist #homesick #takemeaway #hateithere #sorry #blithe #depression #place #nonexistent #stuggle #InstaSize 1y

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suicideorlife Not that any of u care but i got 15 like so heres MY STORY.......... Most people that has gone through the same stuff i have are usually mentally insane, but then again, im pretty sure i am too. Hmm where do i start. When my mom found out she was pregnant, she did all the drugs she could to try to do a "natural abortion". Well my dad was a drug dealer and had gotten arrested right after i was born and thats the first thought i have of him, in jail. Both of my parents were supposed to go hut ny dad took the blame for it all. I was going to be in foster care. My dad got out and he was abusive, towards both me and my mom. My mom left him but kept the house, along with me. my 2 bedroom, one bath house became practically a crack house with 15-20 people living there and i didnt have a room or anywhere to sleep so i slept were i could, under the bed, in a chair, sometimes in a box or a tent outside. My moms boyfriend at that tine also beat me. Well i witnessed someone get raped, get murdered, and alot of people having sex and using drugs. So my dad came back and kicked everyone out and i lived with him. He beat me and got a new girlfriend who was a BITCH and always put me down about everything. My dad was abusive towards her and fuaght AT LEAST once a week and i visited my mom a lot, like every weekend and she lived with her bestfriend and her daughter and her bestfriends boyfriend and son. 1y
  •   suicideorlife Well my moms bestfriends boyfriends son became my bestfriend and i would alway play with him, he was older. Eventually he started touching me in ways that i didnt know what was going on, honestly i didnt even kno it was bad i was around it so much before. But then one day we were playing around and he went further then i wanted him to. He went all the way even tho i kept telling him no and fighting him off of me. Nothing worked and my mom was to busy doing drugs that no one had noticed. Well my dad and his girlfriend at the time broke up after having a kid, but they broke up by my dad grabbing her throat and throwing her out the door down a couple stairs and again, i was there to witness it. My mom moved to a rehab place for awhile. My dad had stopped using drugs but he was still an alcoholic. So i lived with him alone for awhile. He was never home so my grandma and aunt usually took care of me but they wouldnt let me be myself and then my dad got another girlfriend and she started taking care of me so i got to dress how i wanted and i became "emo" and my dad yelled at me everyday cuz of it. I started cutting in 5th grade, i started popping pills in 7th, i purged fir a little bit in 9th grade. I pretty much blacked out for 2-3 years of my life cuz of all the drugs (this was when my mom was in jail, 7-9th grade) i overdosed while i was blacked out. 1y
  •   suicideorlife My mom got her life together after going to jail twice. But i was stuck with my dad. And he constantly yelled ans beat my stepmom and me but i had 3 sisters by that time. He never laid a hand on them, just me. I started getting introuble alot and i got 7 detentions 4 refurals in one week. I tried getting his attention, it didnt work he just called me the worst child all the time and then my step mom was using drugs and both her and my dad were alcoholics and CPS has been in and out of my life for awhile. The cops knew our house cuz of all the tines our neighbors called on us for domestic violence and alcohol. i found someone i thought was "the love of my life" i gave him everything and i actually opened up to him. He stopped me from alot. I stopped getting in trouble, doing drugs, cutting, and he stopped me from suicide. He broke up with me cuz "he didnt feel the same anymore" i kno thats not the reason but ill never kno. Since we broke up ive gone back to being the party girl, taking unknown pills (lots of them) sniffing stuff i dont kno what it is, pretty much doing whatever people offer me. Thats just outside of school life. Ive been bullied more then u could imagian since 3rd grade and it still hasent stopped, people tell me im worthless brat and im a freak and im ugly and fat and everything else. I moved with my mom cuz of CPS and i became the new kid. All my sisters moved away, i barely talk to my dad. And i really don't have anyone. My grandpa is dieing too. Im 15 and ive attempted suicide more times then i can even count, im an alcoholic, a stoner, a drugy, and a depressed suicidal girl. all that i have left is my bestfriend and hes talking about suicide and i dint kno what id do without him. 1y
  •   suicideorlife I can go on for days but heres part..... i womt torture anyone else ..... IFFF anyone actually reads it .... 1y
  •   suicideorlife Well i shared my story to hopefully inspire people and hopefully people will read it. And thank you:) @hhypophreniaa 1y
  •   throughmy.thoughts You inspired me. To know im not the only one who had a child Hood like that.. 1y
  •   suicideorlife Well thank you:P and if u ever need anyone im here <3 @justanothermistakke 1y

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suicideorlife Ask me anything link in the bio :) #ask #link #in #bio 2y

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