rebeccatillett (230//365) "And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you." {Nietzsche} 1d

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rebeccatillett (229//365) Seven years ago, six years post highschool graduation I realized I weighed 150 pounds, a full 40 more than I'd weighed when I walked across the stage to collect my diploma. I decided I needed to lose weight and within three months I'd dropped 25 pounds. I bought new clothes and for the first time in years, felt comfortable again in my skin. Not long afterward, I realized how much I was obsessing over the number on the scale and trashed it. I swore to myself that as long as I felt good, the number didn't matter. And from then until just recently, that was true. I'd maintained my ideal weight of around 130-135 (not exact on the number since I didn't own a scale) for close to seven years until just recently, when I realized most of my clothes, jeans especially, were no longer fitting me. Inevitably I caved this weekend and purchased a scale. And was devastated at the number staring back at me. 154 pounds. But apparently, that's what I needed to see to get my ass back on track. So here we go again...time to lose 20 pounds. Tips, tricks, and enthusiastic motivation welcome. And I should tell you, working out remains a last resort. Kidding, I'll do what I need to. Seriously, though I'd rather not. 2d
  •   shannakeyes Trick: go raw vegan :) 2d
  •   rebeccatillett @shannakeyes No can do, I love meat way too much. And cheese. And milk. And really all dairy products. :) 2d
  •   hillarydilarydok Oh god dairy is my issue as well. I could eat no meat forever no problem. But I will say this; you are a beautiful lady and you were on the right track when you decided to be happy with yourself. I hope nothing but the best on your journey, your smiling face is too precious a thing for this world to lose. 2d
  •   theartistherselfmamacass Make so delicious salads! And juice! 2d
  •   kkulichik Good luck gurl! Just cut out a little bit out of your normal meal size. No sodas or juices. Try biking, really not a bothersome sport but it destroys calories like nuthin. 2d
  •   piggitypoe Had a similar scale situation a few weeks ago. I've started writing down what I'm eating and changed my portion sizes (weight watchers point system is my friend). Weighed myself yesterday and was content with the # staring back at me. Good luck friend, you can do it! 2d
  •   adieight Take it from me who has a wedding dress to fit into in 3 months... Whole30. Look it up... its an extremely healthy way to not only loose weight but feel amazing and get ur body back on track!! Good luck! :) 17h

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rebeccatillett (228//365) A bed in disarray the morning after passing out and bring carried there at the embarrassingly early hour of 10:30 because I both smoked and drank way too much. These are my 30s, aren't they? We work all week for the weekend and once we get there, we're too exhausted to stay awake long enough to enjoy it. 4d

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rebeccatillett (227//365) There are so many big reasons why such a little note can mean so much to me. Never lose hope that those rare truly meaningful and important and good-to-the-core people will play a role on your life...even when you've given them reasons not to. 4d

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rebeccatillett (226//365) Many pulsating uteruses today in the office at the sight of her adorable baby boy. 5d
  •   devgus "Pulsating uteruses" what a phrase. 5d

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rebeccatillett (225//365) What I'm gonna miss most once the cold settles again: sitting outside on my lovely balcony with the trees and the warm air and the sounds of summer. 6d

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rebeccatillett (224//365) Getting home from a really really long day at work to fresh flowers from the sweetest man in the universe just because? Sublime. 1w
  •   de092485 I love every single picture you post. 1w

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rebeccatillett (223//365) "I’m going to say something important. Look at my face. Ignore my eyes. Just listen to me. But listen only to the timbre of my voice, not to what I am saying. They are different. They are two different rooms. The first is an exhibition of despair, the second only an explanation.

The first is all you have to listen to. So listen carefully because I cannot repeat myself: 'Everything/ one suspects to be true/ is true.'"
-Arlaye kierulf
1w

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rebeccatillett (222//365) When the news broke today of Robin William's death my entire body tensed in discomfort; a completely involuntary, silent and reluctant welcome to his loved ones left behind into the what-could-I-have-done-differently club, the did-he-not-know-how-much-we-loved-him club, and the I'll-always-blame-myself-for-this club because-how-could-I-not-have-known club. Once you're in, you don't leave this club. It's the lifetime membership nobody wants. These occurrences, these reminders of the fleeting quality of life and the potential so briefly and darkly snuffed out by our very own powerful two hands leaving many trying in vain to put the pieces back together their remaining days tend to hit too closely to home for me and I thought it be best to stay off social media for a bit. (Memories are hard but regrets are a bitch I've long accepted I can't move forward without so sometimes it's just easier to close my eyes.) But I chanced it and instead of being bombarded with negative feelings, I was overwhelmed with displays of support for everyone enduring a similar battle, those looking down the barrel of a gun at the front lines and those left behind after the trigger was pulled.

It's wonderfully comforting to see the suicide and mental illness epidemic get such a spotlight, even if it's just for a day.

Love to you all but especially to my kindred survivors. <3

Ps. Dead Poet's Society will forever be one of my favorite movies and I'll now watch What Dreams May Come with a whole new pair of eyes.
1w
  •   vonwolfe Beautifully said 1w
  •   julika9 I sincerely agree ... This unique man has brought much joy and laughter to countless people in many countries. I feel deeply for his wife but especially their children. 1w
  •   piggitypoe Your comment perfectly describes how I felt when I heard the news. He will be missed 1w

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Normal Rebecca Tillett
rebeccatillett (221//365) "Come with every wound and every woman you’ve ever loved; every lie you’ve ever told and whatever it is that keeps you up at night. Every mouth you’ve punched in, all the blood you’ve ever tasted. Come with every enemy you’ve ever made and all the family you’ve ever buried and every dirty thing you’ve ever done; every drink that’s burnt your throat and every morning you’ve woken with nothing and no one. Come with all your loss, your regrets, sins, memories, black outs, secrets. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you." {Warsan Shire} 2w
  •   eyeofgotham Don't think a woman would ever tell me half of that, but it's a great sentiment. 2w
  •   julika9 Beauty, power and mystery of words . . . 1w

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rebeccatillett (220//365) "One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well." {Virginia Woolf} 2w

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rebeccatillett (219//365) "Do you wake up as I do, having forgotten what it is that hurts or where, until you move? There is a second of consciousness that is clean again. A second that is you, without memory or experience, the animal warm and waking into a brand new world. There is the sun dissolving the dark, and light as clear as music, filling the room where you sleep and the other rooms behind your eyes."
{Jeanette Winterson}
2w
  •   dear_lea that quote hits very hard. it's so very true. 2w

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rebeccatillett (218//365) Throwback Thursday to a picture more than 10 years old in celebration of my TWENTY year friendship with this chick as of this month. We were scared little 11 years olds when we met on the very first day of 6th grade in 1994. We've had many ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad and we've now spent many years separated by thousands of miles but we always always manage to stay connected and somehow we always will. 2w

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rebeccatillett Famed Regis photographer spotted out in the wild. He stopped photo-scavenging just long enough for me to capture this incredible portrait. Momentous occasion, folks, one for the books. #thisisregis #cultivate #rareportaitoffamedphotographer 2w

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rebeccatillett (217//365) "Somewhere over the Rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I heard of,
once in a lullaby.
...Birds fly over the Rainbow,
why then, oh why can't I?" I've never seen so many rainbows in such a short duration of time as I have the last 2 months.
2w

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rebeccatillett (216//365) "If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?"
{Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn}
2w

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Normal Rebecca Tillett
rebeccatillett (215//365)
Je souhaite dans ma maison:
Une femme ayant sa raison.
Un chat passant parmi les livres.
Des amis en toute saison
Sans lesquels je ne peux pas vivre.” ― Guillaume Apollinaire
2w

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rebeccatillett (214//365) :) 2w

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rebeccatillett (213//365) "I wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain, who scorch the ground with their intensity. But for now, at least I knew such people, and they needed me, just like comets need tails." {John Green} 3w

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rebeccatillett (212//365) When I left my life in Colorado Springs behind more than 8 months ago to take a chance on a new one in Denver, I could have never predicted the truly wonderful friends I'd make as a result. 3w

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