raisecain Poetry v important for baby while breastfeeding 6d
  •   elel_ta Hiiiiiiii. Sending love x 6d
  •   lisabobisa88 I love this poem but your 1% battery life makes me anxious. 6d

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raisecain Who am I ? The new mother asks (which is me speaking in third person because I am so many selves now). What is time? Living in the moment as each moment always seemed so spiritually and philosophically superior, except when you have no choice, then it's a matter of survival.
Life is only sets of temporal intervals now. Each moment has a time allocation. Actually, no, everything but the baby does. Time with the baby is not time at all —maybe everything else feels like survival to make way for the deepest presence with baby. To eradicate the temporality I have been habituated to; I have understood so far.
#2weeks #nosleep
1w
  •   schlicked 1w
  •   raisecain @tbeckett the exhaustion comes with its own positivity and utility... I imagine it doesn't get better but different. 1w
  •   momma2maxh True true there is no sense of time when you're in baby world 1w
  •   rucyl Hi beautiful !!!! 1w
  •   raisecain @rucyl thinking of you and your New York vibes. 1w
  •   rucyl @raisecain 📿 1w
  •   lisabobisa88 Sleep is for the weak and you are woman and you are strong! 6d
  •   butterscotchclements This observation is beautiful and poignant and makes me want to hug my own mother for similar things she must have gone through. Mothers are the strongest people on earth. I hope it gets better, but it sounds rewarding, which is as good as. 1d

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raisecain Post-partum selfie 2w

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raisecain The Aftermath, January 2016 (and thanks for all the wishes you wonderful people. Your enthusiasm means the world to us in this time of no time) 2w

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raisecain After an intense 35+ hour back labour with no interventions or pain killers (the birthing centre doesn't have any!) we welcomed our 8.5lb human on
18 january at 22h20
incidentally the time of my daily ‘drink water’ alarm reminder that started to buzz, causing extra commotion as the midwife’s flashlight fell into the tub and electrocuted J as he grabbed it.

An entrance of a resolute Capricorn.
We are overjoyed to share that we had the water birth of our dreams; the birth that we wanted, a birth that didn’t require anything but us or a birth plan that we forgot at home anyway. For 24 hours after the delivery the midwives at birthing centre took care of us as we three (!!!) lounged in a bed together in post-birth ecstasy.
Some notes of importance:

Shares a birthday with —Deleuze, A.A. Milne and Kiki Smith.
—Is calmed the most by Lonnie Liston Smith’s Astral Travelling (the alternate take of course)
Ps. Regular contractions started on the 17th so we went to the Pick Up for lunch as a 'last meal' which brought on labour. Heh.
2w
  •   mdani Congratulations!!! this is incredible 2w
  •   missnamny Wow Congrats!!!! Great job!!! 2w
  •   ivanabrdanovic Huge congratulations Magda. Immensely happy for you both xx 2w
  •   ether_drift_ Welcome to the outside world little baby ️:) 2w
  •   djinnisin So happy for you 2w
  •   giraffe_in_mexico 35 hours of back labor without pain killers? You are my hero! Congratulations! 1w
  •   momma2maxh Woman power ️ love to all three of you my strong sister! 1w
  •   jonathan_nuss You two are so beautiful. The joy this brings me !!! I can't wait to see the little human. 1w

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raisecain Spending all day in bed with the softest duvet and some books / hyped to re-read Prostitute Laundry in book form 3w

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raisecain 🌚the cliche, January // aka fuck due dates aka my womb will do as it will 4w

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raisecain Finally getting around to reading the finished first issue of the vulnerable @dearjrnl / so honoured to be part of this collective / As I wrote in the foreward @bildungsromance_ asked me to pen ——— Every page is a woman trying to make sense of a new language, write from her body, re-write herself as a response to the discourse that often excludes her or speaks on behalf of her. All the contributors are re-working what has been said for them and to them by others; not just using the “I” but resolutely embracing the “I”. 1mon
  •   dearjrnl we can't thank you enough for supporting the project and honoring us with your beautiful foreword 1mon
  •   butterscotchclements You're one of the most talented and unique writers I know. 1mon
  •   elmahka Your foreward said everything I wanted to say/wanted to hear someone say. 1mon
  •   bildungsromance_ ^^^ exactly! I'll never forget the moment I read your foreword for the first time, sobbing. 1mon

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raisecain When an academic gets pregnant: ~the books~ . Http://raisecain.tumblr.com on how LSD has potentially prepared me for labour. 1mon
  •   claudia_sicon Ina may gaskin for the win. Watch "a birth story" doc after baby comes! 1mon
  •   raisecain @claudia_sicon I've already seen it and almost every other doc out there. Hehe. 1mon
  •   claudia_sicon Yeah!!! Of course you have! It's so good. 1mon
  •   raisecain @claudia_sicon it is! Well done. I saw it when I had that doc club trial. And obv treating pregnancy and birth like I would any other object of inquiry —with films, books, synthesis essays on my end. #rollseyes 1mon
  •   claudia_sicon We are who we are right? Even while pregnant and mothering! That's what makes it all so much greater! Love ya, girl! 1mon
  •   magdalenaconcepts I read Ina May...and I loved it...but cursed myself in hour 20 for not having read more about pain management. 1mon
  •   dizdazz_ Are you hoping to have a home birth? 1mon
  •   raisecain @dizdazz_ at the birthing centre :) 4w

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raisecain Nearing complete representative exhaustion / "The camera makes everyone a tourist in other people's reality, and eventually in one's own." —Susan Sontag 1mon

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1mon raisecain
Normal Magdalena O!szanowski
raisecain All the thoughts in blueberry jam. #feedmeweirdthings #stopgivingmeadvice 1mon

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1mon raisecain
Normal Magdalena O!szanowski
raisecain How will I live without a human inside me at all times? I don't remember not having a giant belly or a uterus without movement. My body makes sense. I know how to control it now. Even when I get out of control, it's within my capacity and within my choice on how to handle it. #39weeks 1mon
  •   nodixpix I like the line down your belly. When I was younger I used to trace the line down my mom' s tummy with my finger. She told me the line just kinda stayed after the pregnancy. I was young and unformulated but i clearly remember my fascination and thinking it was so beautiful that it was magic. 1mon
  •   nodixpix I got a tiny faded line from my belly button downwards when I was older and my mom told me it was probably genetic and would show more with a baby. I liked that and felt like it bonded us more. I trace it with my own finger, never with anything other than love and admiration. #ourbodiesarebeautiful enjoy yours! 1mon
  •   naughty_momma beautiful 1mon
  •   elel_ta Eeeek. Love to you friend 1mon
  •   whitneyarlene Beauty Magic 1mon
  •   ill_esha Beautiful 1mon
  •   dellebell Pregnancy is beautiful. The Birth is beautiful. Holding your baby for the first time, feeling their sweet soft skin on yours and seeing that this little human that you were part of creating is the most beautiful. I take myself back to those first moments of both my children's births often. Wishing you a wonderful labour whenever he or she decides it's time. 1mon
  •   ellekaminer Congratulations!! 2w

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raisecain The labour is imminent. I can feel it. Maybe not now or next week, but soon. Yesterday, j and I were discussing something and I said "stop". I looked at him but he couldn't read my eyes. My eyes said "stop, were entering a new zone. The baby is gonna come out zone." I was too nervous to confess. Too nervous to articulate that now for the first time I see the labour. For the rest of the night he wasn't there anymore, because I was partly elsewhere. #38weeks // ALSO: hello new followers from @orchidmag there are so many of you and I'm so honoured at the unexpected feature and that you all are interested. 1mon

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raisecain the Self with other #37weeks 2mon

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raisecain I asked Sabrina @immateriality what I can do to start preparing for the baby given some things I shared with her / she wrote me many beautiful astute things including the necessity of ritual baths. She urged me to write down things I want to let go/rid of and let them sink in the water of my bath 2mon
  •   fayedaniels Awe love that!! 2mon
  •   bildungsromance_ I've been intending on doing the same before the year is up. I welcome any tips/future rituals. Gotta reconnect to the Slavic women/healers/witches in my lineage 2mon
  •   ash_dema @raisecain courage 2mon
  •   raisecain @ash_dema it's definitely not an easy task ... 2mon
  •   karakon_studio Inspiring! I need to embrace this ritual of letting go as a new year welcoming practice 2mon
  •   karakon_studio @bildungsromance_ the wise women of the slavic witches / szeptucha heritage are growing strong again in Poland 2mon

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raisecain the maternal gaze 2mon

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raisecain When I am too exhausted to keep working or am in too much pain to go to work, I feel like a failure. I should be able to do it all. In those times, my boyfriend reminds me that there is a being inside of me and that it needs me more than my deadlines do. And that is ok and nothing to feel shame about. #35weeks 2mon
  •   ether_drift_ Love 2mon
  •   ash_dema @raisecain it might create a radical love of body and life 2mon
  •   katanacious People are uncomfortable with pregnancy and the pregnant. Particularly when it is not represented in an easily digestible or traditionally way. When I was growing up my parents were muscians and my mum got pregnant and they lost bookings in her third trimester because she was told she was 'obscenely pregnant'. I think that documenting the undoing and recreating of our bodies is important in how we know ourselves. I think that it is still a radical act to be in control of how we present and frame our bodies to be publicly consumed. 2mon
  •   karakon_studio precisely. enjoy it, while it lasts! 2mon
  •   iheartkokeshi You are wonderful as is your boyfriend. Beautiful family 2mon
  •   whohsty 1mon
  •   raisecain @iheartkokeshi thanks Alicia! He is pretty wonderful. And so are you ... And tabitha xx 1mon
  •   iheartkokeshi 1mon

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raisecain “If only there could be an invention that bottled up a memory, like scent. And it never faded, and it never got stale. And then, when one wanted it, the bottle could be uncorked, and it would be like living the moment all over again.” ― Daphne du Maurier 2mon
  •   raisecain @tiff_annie my intention is not to make anyone else feel empty :( 2mon
  •   gorfednet Not expecting- just planning! 2mon
  •   raisecain @gorfednet oh wonderful, beautiful, magical, everything everything 2mon
  •   raisecain @gorfednet it can happen v quickly, just FYI. 2mon
  •   raisecain @karakon_studio my olfactory perception has remained fairly constant / maybe more acute at the beginning / mostly I also have stayed smelling the same... Feels disappointing not to have a scent-memory. 2mon
  •   raisecain @karakon_studio I never considered it ... Even tho smells are such a big thing for me, which is why I found that quote so productive for me. 2mon
  •   karakon_studio I remember the smell of my birthing. I remember the smell of my newborn smelling of my insides. The newborns generally carry a very distinctive scent of their own. Not to be forgotten. Ever. 2mon
  •   nancyelvira13 Me tomarás una foto así? @jose_sotogon Jijiji 1mon

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raisecain Yesterday, a woman said to me "no one told me how wonderful it is after you give birth, they just told me how exhausting it is. I was amazed every time I looked at my son «I made you. My hard work made you.»" I furrowed my brows at her strange yet ubiquitous concept of ownership.
She continued, "it is the greatest thing, that we can make another human. It's so sad men can't." I replied, "but I'm not making the baby, we are growing together through each other..." She wasn't interested in hearing my philosophies. Instead, her own experience was supposed to serve as sage advice.
2mon
  •   butterscotchclements People feel as intensely about pregnancy as they do politics and religion - no one warns you about that. And your body, your health, how far along you are becomes fodder for talk with strangers. I love your perspective. 2mon
  •   tiff_annie I think such strong sentiments of ownership and self sacrifice are what eventually derail into narcissistic parenting. I adore how you put it- growing together. 2mon
  •   memyselfandicecream It's amazing to see 2mon
  •   internet_saara What a wonderful and insightful perspective. 2mon
  •   raisecain @butterscotchclements yes! Our bodies (mostly women's bodies) never really belong to us, do they? They are up for public consumption at every turn. And this becomes so apparent when our bodies are non-normative in any way.... Even momentarily. And these comments and gestures aren't just from men, since I have been visibly pregnant women love to impart themselves on me and whatever ideology they subscribe to. 2mon
  •   spencesaurus I tell my daughter all the time that she is her own person and can choose to sleep or cry as is her perogative. Her spit bubbles suggest she gets it. But at this point, she seems to prefer the sounds of industrial fans to bell hooks audiobooks. After all, there is no accounting for taste, even among three month olds. 2mon

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raisecain Everything is happening so exponentially fast now. Now it is like ok I am going to have a human in my arms and not protected by my belly. Just over a month to go. Baby is letting me know. My body is letting me know. I'm definitely not ready to let go yet. #35weeks jc 2mon
  •   atelierbmtl Magnifique xx 2mon
  •   lisabobisa88 I'm so very excited for you! Is this birth happening in Montreal or THEsix? 2mon
  •   gayance 2mon
  •   soft_garlic_head Good luck!!! Xxooo🏻 2mon
  •   lauraflorapora Giving birth was one of the best moments of my life. Enjoy x 2mon
  •   htshell ️ sending positive vibes, mama! 2mon
  •   raisecain @lisabobisa88 in Montreal! We were just in Toronto for our baby shower. Life is here, for now :)) 2mon

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