polksalad Cracker fucking rules. I am old. 4d

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polksalad When u go 2 fart and poop a little 2w

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polksalad This doesn't make a ton of sense. 3w

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polksalad TONIGHT. 4w

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polksalad Derek and Cuppy, Austin's Greatest Two-Man Group! 1mon

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polksalad @animatedgeoff is good 1mon

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polksalad Sometimes everything is great. 1mon

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polksalad #tbt my dressing room at the 40 watt surrounded by autographs of 90s Gods. 1mon

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polksalad It's bullshit that tweeting this won't immediately result in my own hour long special on HBO. 1mon

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polksalad So, come to an open mic. 1mon

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polksalad HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 1mon
  •   lleenypants 1mon
  •   davelosso Vincent looks like a racist salad logo. 1mon
  •   cpantsnance I'm going to poster size this and hang it in my living room 1mon

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polksalad when u tell bae she smell like a gulag. 2mon

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polksalad @johnmichaelsmistakes and i turnt up to 69 2mon

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polksalad I can now admit how terrifying that was. I have done big shows before, but having a name on a sign is a responsibility to uphold. I am very lucky, and for a minute, proud. Thank you, @toddbarry and 40 Watt. 2mon

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polksalad Not a bad first marquee. 2mon

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polksalad We are in Alabama. See us with Rivers Langley tonight at Iron City in Birmingham at 8p. 2mon

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polksalad I am featuring for Todd Barry wednesday in Hattiesburg at Thirsty Hippo w/ @hubcitycomedy, thursday in Birmingham at Iron City, and Friday in Athens at the 40 Watt. Come to one! 2mon

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polksalad tfw u realize art is dumb as hell. 2mon
  •   polksalad I hope no one has a problem that I only Instagram in the form of black teen memes now. 2mon

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polksalad mfw da squad wanna go to another bar & its already 3am 2mon

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