merniemern Umbrella -ella ella ella. | #umbrella 1d

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merniemern promise me you'll never forget me.
I wore floral perfumes
I put oil on my skin
I prayed and stretched my back
every morning... #memorialday #neverforget
1d

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merniemern There is an order in the heavens,
the planets are obedient to a certain alignment
creating an environment for our
perfect existence.
as is above, so is below-- there is an order inside of us
that mirrors the stars and planets,
an instinct that we must be obedient to
and align ourselves with,
to create an environment for our
perfect existence. | #words #poet #life #philosophy #poetry 🏼 align yourself with your instinct
3d

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merniemern We took an ice chest and we drove to Vegas with ten years in our back pocket, two kids later and a relationship that was nothing short of two young fools trying to figure it all out. This was all after he gave me a hail mary proposal—all after I had half a wedding planned—in a way that I do things when I make up my mind to do it, I just do it. It was memorial day weekend—he got home from work and I said, “I got you something.” He opened it up, threw the box on the floor and put the ring on. His brother and my best friend were on board, we didn’t even book a room. After a night in a Las Vegas motel that I know had secrets, we found a Chapel, a nice shirt for him and I had bought my wedding dress at Forever 21, a buy one get one ½ off, you know, for my best friend. We are crazy like that. I didn’t phone my parents who took Isaac and Nadia for the weekend. I didn’t think too much about anyone else. The doors of the Chapel closed and shut the noise out—the noise of Vegas people and cars disappeared, the noise of my head trying to make sense of it, the noise of everything we had gone through, it was all shut out. I walked down the aisle and looked at the empty seats, his brother and my best friend as witnesses, because is this really how it’s going down? And then I saw Johnny. As if his gaze was a tight rope I could walk on to get to safety. He didn’t let me go.

We ran out of there afterward and caught the last minutes of the Western Conference Finals. Lakers 100 / Kings 99. May 26, 2002

#throwbackthursday | #lasvegas #life #lakers #tt #kings #wedding
4d

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merniemern One peony bloomed, out of five. In the darkness of a dirty kitchen, in an unfamiliar place. Whether the conditions are ideal, or not, she is going to bloom, either way. .| #peony #thankyou 7d

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merniemern I didn't fall in love with you because
you are a man.
I didn't fall in love with your hopes and dreams,
or your ideas, or your
childhood memories.
I didn't plan our lives.
I never knew your thoughts,
you never made a promise,
we never spoke a word.
We didn't "fall in love."
It was already written somewhere,
in some other time.
In the consciousness of that
present day when I wasn't aware that
there was no
falling in love because
it was already there,
I was stuck in the realm of
memory confusion.
However,
my skin remembered the vow.
It reacted in some primeval way,
jumping off of me to
try and touch you. And I,
in my memory-confused state,
felt a little embarrassed.
When the day finally came,
wherein our hands touched for
a brief moment,
my entire body was attempting to
wake me up to remember.

I don't believe in falling in love
at first sight. I believe in remembering.
Two old souls journeying through
then and now playing hide and seek
like children.

You showed up in my dream last night,
as I had chosen then another life,
and you came to me in a memory.
In an instant, I knew I was in
the wrong dream.
I awoke with you by my side.

We have this thing, where you try and pull me to you, and I fight and say, "I am playing hard to get." And you say, "I don't want you to."
...
#poetry #poet #words #love #life #treehugger #blackandwhitephotography #photography
2w

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merniemern #juxtaposition | sharp edges and billowy things 2w

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merniemern Fana moves in the night sky like a star with no name, clear bead at the center, love with no object, one swaying being, the knack of compassion with no attachment.

Lovers love death because it keeps them moving beyond limits. |
from #TheSoulofRumi #Rumi #Words #Poet #Inspired
2w

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merniemern From a moving car, #California in all its unfiltered glory using my #sonya6000 -- getting it real good. #desert #sky #cloudporn 1mon

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merniemern Upon meditation and prayer this morning, I asked a question and the thought-answer was presented to me with itself being an example of the answer, as well as presenting another question, which again was the totality of the answer so on, so forth (wow, imagine if I were stoned, right?) Here it is in illustration.
The "question" on the left seeks to align itself with the "expectation" of understanding (or, answer) on the right (the points being a line, both before it and after, you remember geometry, right?). The space of the triangles encompassing the question and expectation are our current understanding (so when we seek to understand, we are seeking within what we already know) The circle, is our potential (a greater understanding is beyond ourselves and what we've already learned). We can expand into the circle which is inclusive of science and theory and spiritual enlightenments, but we can't expand into what is unknown because, hello. It's unknown. Even if we ask God "why?" why, why, why, the answer is the totality of everything and also lives in spaces we don't have the capability of understanding. I might be late to board the train of this understanding, but dang, it was pretty cool to see it all come together in mere seconds.

Anyway, I enjoyed my #coffee and the birds this morning and I am happy. #God is the #AlphaAndOmega #EverPresent #Life and #IAm #Thankful
1mon

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merniemern In 5th/6th grade I choreographed and performed dances in my living room, with leaping jumps and awkward bony waist thrusts to your music. You made me feel free.

In highschool, a 17 year old boy and I kissed in his mama's kitchen to "the Beautiful Ones" and I knew he'd be mine forever.

I spent all my money at Tower Records buying all of your tapes. Even the weird ones.

Then, I finally got to see you and feel your music all over me in a private three hour concert and I studied every move you made and your smile imprinted in my heart and I can replay that moment over and over and over again.

I am not sad yet. I am still in denial. Don't you take anything away from me yet ... my #Prince #thedaythemusicdied
1mon

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merniemern I love on a scale that uses the tips of my being, my highs are highs and lows are lows--every cell radiates; you are processed in my brain, you are magnified in my sight, you are a victim of receiving everything in one serving, mouthfuls and earfuls and constant explosions of my ever evolving and constant wonderment. I love from the edge of my seat, a rush of an almost continuous falling, an almost ending, an ever expanding universe kind of love and you are strong enough to let me.| the way I #love 2mon

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merniemern #midnightblue was my favorite crayon.

I said something very infantile at a recent meeting with a designer and a client. And, the only reason it stuck with me was because I felt awkward when the designer smirked and said, "favorite crayon huh?" I mean, she's a veteran designer who's worked on million dollar homes her whole career and I, I mentioned a crayon!
Anyway, it's part of who I am when I share frivolous information about myself, or make a small joke or give a sincere compliment to someone and it has always made a working environment more pleasant. But, this time I actually felt silly for being so, I don't know, silly. And then I felt like maybe I should shut up. Whether I am likeable or not, whether the experience is personal or not, I get paid the same.
However, what is this thing called life if I can't reach out and touch your soul, -- and give you a piece of mine? #namaste | #words about #life and #crayons (actual #paint swatch photographed and edited)
2mon
  •   johannaminassian I think ur comment revealed more about every her desire to elite herself more than anything. I'm surrounded by people who were given million dollar projects to "practice on" to grow their resume. Whether it's real estate, business or start up. Let it go... Be grateful 2mon
  •   axmbakes 🏼 2mon
  •   merniemern @johannaminassian It was such a small moment and I think it's interesting how **we reveal ourselves with what we notice in others** 2mon
  •   merniemern @axmbakes brick red is pretty awesome too 2mon

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merniemern Make #art of yourself. Be that #strange thing you know you are.
------------
"There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion." #FrancisBacon quoted several times by #EdgarAllenPoe
2mon

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merniemern I love this accidental #photo. It reminds me of the time the #hightide at #ZumaBeach took me under and treated me like a dirty sock in the washing machine. I was tumbling in the water and couldn't find my way up. It was very slow motion and I could hear the ocean, it sounded very much like my own thoughts, and I felt peaceful. I was not near death or anything like that, but my limbs were free and all over the place and the sun was piercing through the water like it was lending me a hand to come up; she knew I was down too long. It happened so long ago, I wonder if I've romanticized the entire thing in my head. Sometimes I wonder if my memories are all that twisted part of me that sees everything beautiful. | #art is what you are willing to see and almost always has a #story -- 🏼️ps, I'd like to give a shout out to the three lifeguards who saved me? #ocean #poetry #writer #words #photography 2mon
  •   nessa_sita @merniemern that same thing happened to me 25yrs ago when I was 6mos prego, swimming in the ocean, rip current came in and spun me around like that. At the time I did think I was gonna die but after I felt washed by the sea. It was ethereal under those waves. 2mon
  •   merniemern @nessa_sita yep, ethereal is a good word for it. I can't believe you were with child! 2mon

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merniemern "Irony"
We don't have a lot of photos together at this age. It almost seems like a dream that this kind of love existed. I think I loved him like that for about a year, and then it evolved into different types of love for the next 25 years. | #younglove #throwbackthursday #dreams #words #poet #introspection
2mon

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merniemern I have been struggling this year with such confusion about myself --
I have been trying to categorize myself this whole time into something that fits the mold of reaching maturity, peace and success. I have been waiting for the moment where I let go of certain things about myself because it would fit an identify better. I am ridiculous, how could I possibly be serious? I am wild, how can I possibly be spiritual? I am an artist, maybe? Or strategic, or both? I am a mother, but not all the time. I am a writer, or maybe photographer, an entrepreneur or an employee, I am amazing one day and not the other, I am I enlightened, but why then do I ask and continue to ask and ask and ask? And today, God my God, today. Today in the most peculiar way, I trace the words I've heard before, but didn't really take, "I am limitless." It's why I don't quite fit in...
And I can stop trying to find a space for me, and just be. | #words #poet #life #photography #me
2mon
  •   merniemern @thatdudekellz just think about that, no limits. YouTube Jim Carrey's commencement speech at MUM 2014 listen to the whole thing (yes all 26 minutes) -- there's a part he said, "I have no limits" that literally pierced right through me. He was ok with being everything and anything. So powerful. 2mon
  •   merniemern @bruinfoodie so I can be a fool on snapchat AND be philosophical 🏼 and its ok! lol 2mon
  •   bruinfoodie That's right! Be Myrna that's all anyone should get and be happy with! 2mon
  •   thatdudekellz That's awesome Mern....it sounds like a your the embodiment of Whitney Houston's "I'm Every Woman" & I love that....life is to short to be anything less than your true self...whatever that may be...embrace every aspect of the person you are...you are so much more than a title or label....you are & have been a movement of 1 for as long as I've known you! Keep on living in the movement my friend! 2mon

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merniemern You can be a spectator in life, or a participant.

Driving by this building wasn't enough. Seeing the flowering tree against the hardness of the building wasn't enough. I wanted it to be mine, so I took it. And the extra gifts were in everything else I didn't see in the seconds of possessiveness, like the other tree and the tiny sign and the piece of light post and the dark corner, did I take it or did it take me for a ride? My overstimulated senses just become more finely tuned when I am a participant and the gift of every single day with its common things becomes an extravagant day. But also, under this condition, while the joy is true joy, the sadness is real sadness. | #mindful every bit of it is worth it. #life #words #live #photography
2mon

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