kchk21 One of my new favorite kids books 17h

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kchk21 @crystalschandelier asked #widn
Hanging out in bed watching some Netflix on the laptop and weeping quietly because I want hot fries from McDonalds so bad. So bad. Like sell a kidney bad. What are you up to @samijo520 and @aljex ??
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  •   crystalschandelier That is a serious craving! 1d
  •   landonetw I was just telling my hubby I wanted hot fries from McD's!! 1d
  •   mandolanicola Why did you do that to us... now I want too! 1d
  •   kchk21 @mandolanicola and @landonetw I know they are horrifically bad for you but when they're hot and fresh there is nothing better 1d
  •   landonetw Oh they are soooooo good!! Maybe tomorrow... 1d
  •   mandolanicola I know, I know... Clogged arteries and cholesterol in a bite. My hubby would die a little inside, they are so wrong, but sometimes - you don't wanna be right! 1d

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kchk21 Useless 1d

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kchk21 David questioned why I spend so much money on paint brushes if I'm just going to paint with my fingers. I honestly have no answer. 1d

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kchk21 Hmmm. I tell the kids we're going screen free for the week and those claims of boredom stopped completely. 2d
  •   rhiannamathias Nice! We're making efforts to reduce ours even more, too. I'm solo parenting through Thursday, and the challenge is real. 2d
  •   kchk21 @rhiannamathias This is a thing I can only do when the weather is nice. Otherwise I lose all resolve. 2d

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kchk21 Never has a shirt so perfectly fit a child 3d

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kchk21 Spending time with my oldest girl 3d

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kchk21 #ktbaLetmeintroducemyself
Hello! I'm Kait. I'm 28 and because I was a child bride I've been married to Dave (considerate) for ten years. We have five kids : Amara (9, creative), Matthew (8, hilarious), Natalie (7, intense), Johnny (6, dreamer), and Isaiah (5, curious). If it were up to me, we would have twenty more kids. If it were up to our bank account, we would have stopped four kids ago (why is adopting and parenting so expensive?!) I've participated in the past two or three KTBA photo challenges. Because we've adopted internationally, domestically, from disruption, and we've been both foster parents and a Safe Family, I tend to have a lot to say about all of this. I can't say I have a favorite prompt because I love the way all of them inspire honesty. I think true, vulnerable honesty is missing in a lot of conversations about fostering and adopting.
I don't know my Myers-Briggs type. Or the other one. I'm incredibly introverted unless you're one of my people. I don't do small talk well. I'm a fairly good judge of character so if I trust you, I immediately dive in to our relationship as though we've been friends for years. I'm fiercely loyal but if you betray that I hold a grudge like its my job.
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  •   chasitycole I love you, Kait! Yes, yes, yes to all of you, Kait. So much of it is me as well. That's why we click I guess. 3d
  •   lafferty_nuthouse @kchk21 yes !! I can't do something every day. When I was in high school I went to a private school where I only went 3 days a week then when I worked I only waited tables 3or 4 days a week. Then I tried a 5 day a week job . Nope . Couldn't handle it !! I was an emotional wreck at home every day ...... Haha I just want to sit in my couch alone !! What is funny is we all have 4 or more kids so being alone just doesn't happen anymore what were we thinking hahahahaha !!! @mixed__beautifully 3d
  •   mixed__beautifully @kchk21 @lafferty_nuthouse that is why this whole trip is a stretch for me! Constantly being in ppl's homes let alone putting on the ktba events for 5 1/2 months straight. No way I won't be able to turn off my obligated extrovert and will be in constant anxiety. I was feeling guilty booking 2 separate 1 week camping times for just our crew but my bestie convinced me I will die if I don't. Just hard when you will be basically living off of nothing, relying on God and ppl's support 3d
  •   kchk21 @lafferty_nuthouse We finally got to a point where I told my husband I MUST have an hour a day where no one touches or talks to me. He's super extroverted so he doesn't really get it per say but he understands that it's what I need and does his best to give it to me 3d
  •   mixed__beautifully @kchk21 @lafferty_nuthouse that silly NF tricking us introverts into a bunch of high need kids 3d
  •   lafferty_nuthouse My husband works from 6am-2:30pm every day some goes to bed early and that is where I get my alone time . My just quietly stare at the wall time 3d
  •   betimama_x2 This is so funny. I haven't done the test for my type either. But just reading what you ladies posted is so me!! My husband knows if I've been out too much in a row or too stressful a situation the next day I'm toast and I can't bring myself to do. I guess that's why nursing worked for me, it was three days a week and I could do it but it wore me out at the same time. I could talk to people and do small talk which I didn't enjoy and call people on the phone but when it's on my own at home it takes me forever to call some one. Ha! 3d
  •   thejoysofsixboys You sound a lot like me with adopting, lol. I would adopt a whole country but my bank and husband would not agree to that, LOL! I also hate small talk and I think a pretty good judge of character. Thanks for sharing!!! 2d

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kchk21 Lazy Sunday 3d

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kchk21 I'm about halfway through @jillianlauren 's book but you guys. You guys. Seriously. Read this. She has so perfectly captured the terror of being judged worthy or unworthy of parenting an adopted child. The weight of home studies and interaction with other adoptive parents and agencies and new countries and all of it.
If nothing else I feel significantly less alone as we contemplate whether or not we could ever go through that whole mess again. #everythingyoueverwanted
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kchk21 #knittogetherbyadoption Hard (but worth it)
Night terrors. Food aversions. Hoarding. Rejection. "I don't love you." Hitting. Kicking. "You're not my (dad/mom/sister/brother/family) any more!" Mountains of paperwork. Endless visits from social workers. Fingerprinting. Physicals. Mental evaluations. Begging for recommendation letters. Anticipating who will be happy for us and who will try talk us out of adopting.
Bonding. Having maternal feelings toward this stranger. Knowing what to fight and what to allow to work itself out. Exhaustion - physically, emotionally, financially... Tiny little glimpses of light. Two hours with no tantrums. One whole glorious day of no raging. A family dinner with no fights. Playing outside all together with no crying.
Every single moment of every single day is hard. Every single moment of every single day is worth it. Welcome to parenting.
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kchk21 #knittogetherbyadoption Co-Parenting

Of our five kids, we only have contact with one bio mom. She's amazing. I love her so big. And it doesn't really feel like co parenting because she's always let us take the lead. She's awesome to bounce ideas off but I've never felt like I had to defend my mom title to her.
Parenting with my husband is...interesting. We're pretty in synch on stuff but he's much more strict. If one of the kids swears (in context, quietly, not at or about another person) I really don't care. I'm pretty lax about a lot of things. David is strict. Our biggest parenting battles are managing expectations for behavior.
So we agreed on the family motto of Don't Be A Jerk. It's all encompassing. Be respectful. Be kind. Be helpful. Speak your piece without hurting others. If you can't defend yourself without destroying someone else, are you certain you're making the right choice? Just don't be a jerk. And that goes for the two of us too. If we can't agree on anything else in parenting, we can agree on that. It's a good rule.
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kchk21 Standing in the middle of our living room. I look to the left and see laundry mountain. To the right I see homeschool hell. Seems like a very good time to go play outside with the kids. 5d

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kchk21 Time for #fridayintroductions
I'm Kait. Wife to Dave (head nerd) and mama to the nerd herd. We are a transracial adoptive homeschooling family. I swear too much and laugh too much when my kids do it. I shaved my head for funsies. I have an unhealthy love of Pinterest, coffee, summer time, and quoting kids movies.
I think you're all lovely and charming and perfect. So! Tell me one of your bad habits or guilty pleasures.
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  •   crystalschandelier I like court shows and Taylor Swift is growing on me. Please don't tell anyone. They might take my punk rock card away. 5d
  •   landonetw My guilty pleasure is Americas Next Top Model 😮 I'm 5'2" and outweigh all the competitors but I love to watch still!! 5d
  •   landonetw @crystalschandelier you should apply to be a dual card carrier. Punk rock and t-swift 5d
  •   samijo520 #1. I love this....And guilty pleasures are ice cream and Jersey Shore. @kchk21 also we share the unhealthy love of Pinterest. Coffee. And Summertime 5d
  •   littlehousebiglove Too many bad habits. Tv is definitely a guilty pleasure. Like I watch a lot of shows. And sleep. I like to resort to those things when I'm mad at life...! 5d
  •   crystalschandelier @landonetw uhm... It's not that serious. 5d
  •   kchk21 @littlehousebiglove Oh yeah...sleep is a delicious amazing perfect way to pass time 5d
  •   thejoyfuljewelrybox I'm definitely a potty mouth. Nice to meet you! 4d

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kchk21 Johnny is reading to Dave. I repeat : Johnny is reading. #itaughthimthat #homeschool #howweschool 5d

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kchk21 #knittogetherbyadoption Trust
Most of what I've seen on here about trust in adoption has been helping our kids to trust us. Which, okay, yeah, that's important. But even more important to me is having a group of other moms that I can send an SOS-I-might-murder-this-kid text to and they won't judge or side eye me for it. Trusting those friends who maybe haven't been exactly where I am but have been close enough, telling them the truth about how I'm feeling right that second without censoring myself, trusting that they'll still love me and my nerd herd - that is priceless. Building that kind of trust took a long time. But it is so endlessly worth it. you ladies for being my tribe.
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kchk21 Nope. I'm not hiding from my kids so I don't have to share. What kind of mother do you think I am? (The kind of mother who hoards cherries to keep them from her kids) 6d

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