jes099 We must learn each other. We must learn what parts hurt and how to be tender with one another.
We all have pains and hurts from our pasts... Whether they're from childhood or relationships, we can begin to believe that hiding our emotions will protect us from being hurt. That if we build walls around our hearts, no one can injure us again.

It takes tenderness to peel those walls down for one another. Often we will react when we feel like we're potentially going to be rejected, and/or that we feel like we're not good enough. We remove a brick from the wall, only to rebuild it the moment we feel we may go unloved.
But the way to heal those hurts is not to flee from them, it's to step towards them. It's to do the very thing which scares us the most, and invite our partners to meet us there.
Sometimes it takes being the first person to say, "These are the parts of me that hurt most. I trust you enough to handle them. Please be gentle..." And when we do this, we invite our partners to lean into their hearts. An act of vulnerability is met with an act of surrender.
We begin to teach each other that it's ok to be ourselves... That if we expose the cracks in our hearts, we invite our partners to love us there. Everything amazing requires a risk... Including great love.
19h

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jes099 Our commitment to forever has many beautiful intentions... But it also has a lot of detrimental effects on keeping many people imprisoned in relationships that have run their course.
There's a tremendous amount of pressure that we feel to be successful in relationships. And because of that we have a recipe for not being able to honor what role relationships are meant to play in our lives because we try to force them to always play the forever role.
When we make each experience need to be forced into that forever box, we miss the lessons and gifts that they're actually meant to give us that are potentially not that. We don't honor the gift of why they truly entered our lives... And because of that we abandon both ourselves and our soul's true journey. We make adhering to what society has taught us is a must in love(forever), instead of seeing the many other invitations to our growth and evolution that love can offer.
Begin to let go of the relationship that have passed that you have to force to keep, and by doing that you create space for new ones to come into your life to teach you new lessons... Which could be how to build a partnership, family... Forcing people to take on different roles in our story doesn't keep them forever, it keeps them till they figure out that's not their part to play... And it's not for us to choose for them, that choice should be theirs and it should be easy.
2d

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jes099 It's easy to get addicted to the praise that social media can bring. "Likes" and comments about our appearance and our minds can quickly be the way we define our self-worth. But there's one fatal flaw to this... And it's that we are giving away the power of how we feel about ourselves, to how people feel about us.
Fall in love with yourself. Cultivate your self-worth from within, and base it on what kind of human you are. Because when you do that, you don't let the words of another affect your day, because you're in charge of how it's gonna go.
Like your-selfie so much you don't need to take them.
3d

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jes099 I think a lot about the power of our words... And how just like someone telling us we're not good enough can have us believing it... We often don't think of what we have people believing about themselves by how we react and false truths we speak into existence. We transform our emotional hurts into painful manifestations of belief that others wear as a badge of how we love.
Words can both devastate and transform this world we live in. We have the power to tear people down or build them up. It's up to us.

I can't stand when people say "They made me angry" or "I couldn't help it". No. That's not good enough. We *always* have a choice. We must take a second between action and our reaction... For it is in that moment of patience that our futures are decided. It is through that conscious self-control that we decide whether we are on this planet to build more love, or create and foster more fear.

We must demand of ourselves the love we seek from others. We must be the example to all of those around us, that, no matter our past or our current circumstances, we get to be what and whoever we choose to be.
This is *that* important... How do you want to be remembered? What do you want the people around you to believe about themselves? Whatever you decide will be... Because our words become our worlds.
6d

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jes099 Be kinder to yourself. 7d

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jes099 Sunday's are for cats. And football. Happy Super Bowl! 7d

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jes099 Sunrises. Sunsets. And everything in between. 1w

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jes099 It's when we have nothing left to hold on to that we realize we were empty all along. Your feelings of love must always come from yourself first. I know it sounds cheesy to say self love matters... But it does. Because the moment you depend on others for your well-being you've already lost. The moment your life circumstances rest on the decisions of another you've put your life in someone else's hands. The truth is that your ability to love others will always be limited by your capacity to love yourself. And the moment you give that responsibility away you put far too much pressure on your partner and you also give away the power you have over your own life and heart. Take control of the way you love and the love you feel. You can give yourself everything you need. And once you feel whole, you are ready... Because from that place you will pick someone you want, not someone you need. 1w

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jes099 I love this... Because you never know when your life will change. 1w

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jes099 To Friday. To being a team. To hope. To dreams. To passions. To changing how we love and learning to be our best possible selves. 1w

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jes099 Without our past lovers we would never even be able to identify our next soulmate because we wouldn't even know what to look for. Each person is a gift that contributes to our ever-evolving model of love.
But each time we get shattered we try to pick up the pieces and rush... There is no rushing. There are so many gifts in that rawness where we no longer can wear the mask. Where heartbreak has us watching rom-coms and eating ice cream, sobbing at another Hugh grant movie.
LIVE IN THAT. FEEL THAT.
That is you. Not the Hugh grant part... But the open hearted beautiful mess.
Now take that person and don't build walls, love from that place. Let someone feel that heart. The real you is perfect for the heart that was meant to love you. I know the pain of growth isn't fun but when we finally arrive... Oh the amazingness.
Stay the course. Trust the process. And know that beyond the hardest parts is the love you've been waiting for. You just need to believe.
2w

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jes099 Yep, you're here for a reason. 2w

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jes099 We can't change people. They have to want to change. They have to demonstrate that they're actually taking the actions that indicate change. Words mean nothing if behavior isn't shifting.
And trust me, if people want something or someone bad enough... They'll do anything. Just make sure you're not asking them to be someone else to be with you... Because that type of change request has a short shelf life.
2w

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jes099 I believe relationships, pain and heartbreak crack open new parts of us. They awaken spaces of our hearts that have yet to be seen. They allow more light from our soul to shine through so that we can be found by love that will show up.
Life and the experiences in it can hurt... A lot. But not waking up to how we're showing up and not learning and growing so as to heal our wounded hearts is a pain far greater than heartbreak.
Love is an invitation to our greatest selves, and in becoming that, we attract the kind of partner who's accepted that invitation too.
2w

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jes099 Hahaha. This is great. Gotta keep 'em on their toes. Happy Friday 🏼 2w

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jes099 You may have bad days, or days that just downright suck... And i want you to know, that on those days - "especially" those ones - i think you're fucking magnificent. 3w

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jes099 This sculpture by Alexander Milov was at burning man this past year. To me, this is everything. This is what we all want but struggle so much to communicate.
We're all just humans wishing we could expose our souls and communicate what we actually want and need... And ironically, not getting our needs met, or even sometimes, getting them met, keeps most of us stuck in a cycle of push and pull. We act out because we were never taught how to ask and get love in healthy ways... And sometimes this is because our parents didn't teach us how. But, communicating effectively can be learned.
To me, it is everyone's own personal work to understand how we communicate and what patterns we have that are, and are not, healthy. It's up to each and everyone of us to explore our emotional worlds and why we do what we do. If you haven't started, begin now. It will allow this child to leap out and finally be free... Whoa the magic that happens when we finally feel heard, understood and loved. 🏼
3w

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jes099 Often we don't take the time to appreciate our partner and to remind them, and ourselves, of why we chose each other.
But it's such an honor to be chosen... It's such a beautiful gift to say, "Out of all the amazing people on this planet, I think you're the most amazing." Take the time to appreciate your partner, and also don't forget to be as amazing and unique as you were before you both made that choice... Because choice can change, and taking our partner's ability to choose for granted is a quick way to also have them feel unappreciated.
Let's choose each other each and everyday, and also give one another a reason to continuously make that choice.
3w

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jes099 Once momma knows there's no coming back. 🏻 3w

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jes099 Don't let the fear of actually getting the love you talk about be the reason you sabotage relationships and connections. Don't pick people who will never pick you.
Show up for you. Show up for your partner. Ask for what you need. Tell them how to love you, instead of testing them to see if they can figure it out. Love from your heart. Jump into the unknown and quit taking a parachute with you. We don't get to be certain and have great love. We have to choose.
3w

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