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jensonnelson #Throwback to last week: #TheDadShow with John Nelson and @nursenelson 3d

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jensonnelson I made it. 2w

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jensonnelson @hipsteralecberg is my #MarriedManCrushMonday. Is that allowed? Probably not. Love you, @naenaezzz. #MCM #bergbash 4w

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jensonnelson @steveheiss, wipe those hearts off your face. #drugrugz #periscope #lastnight #HappySteveEve 1mon

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jensonnelson Just living that late 20's single white guy stereotype. 1mon

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jensonnelson Sibling jamz on #periscope with @chrisnelsonwashere 1mon

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jensonnelson I'm good at dating on the Internet. #tinder #basementparty #portland #missedconnection 2mon

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jensonnelson Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Berg! #bergbash 2mon
  •   therawins You're in Oregon? Welcome! Hope you enjoy it here. 2mon

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jensonnelson My favorite #periscope moment ever. 2mon

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jensonnelson Your friend with a car is here. Get in, you'll be fine. #Lyft 2mon

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  •   joedylan I hate big things 2mon
  •   jensonnelson @joedylan I'm with you, man. Big things are a bummer. 2mon
  •   joedylan Haha no but like they give me the willies, like i cant look at them. Not all things, but like i have a hard time standing next to the queen mary. Makes me nauseous and super anxious, its fuckin weird 2mon
  •   jensonnelson @joedylan you would have hated the cruise as much as my projectile vomited hated it. But really, I get what you mean. Standing next to a man made giant is unsettling to me, too. I'm not quite sure why. 2mon
  •   jensonnelson @jensonnelson typo up there^ whatever 2mon
  •   fwiz BE NICE, JENSON 2mon

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jensonnelson Dear Jenson of the past,

You’re 28 and sometimes you eat Lunchables for dinner – not because you’re broke, but because you’d rather work than shop for groceries, and you don’t care if you’re actually eating turkey or ham or gluten-free anything, which makes this easy. But to be clear, sometimes you are broke and you should probably start caring about what you’re ingesting.

Your dining room table is pretty much always covered with clean and soon-to-be-steamed clothes, so this chair is your dinner table.

Your rent is about 25% of your salary because you insist on living alone (brat), BUT at least you have a salary. Your big sister is your neighbor and that’s fantastic – she makes you coffee and food and she surrounds you with love and animals.
You continue to play piano; thanks for that! Although the instrument itself cost more to move than it’s worth, playing it is rewarding and more therapeutic than anything imaginable. It's absolutely invaluable.
You probably won’t eat that Reese's for dessert; you’ll eat it in the middle of the night. The Capri Sun will make for a fun morning snack.

Turns out, you’re not a figure skater, you’re not a professional pianist, and thankfully you’re not a standup comedian. You’re really happy and that’s all that matters.
I’m sorry,

Present Jenson
P.S. You drive a purple Scion and you have the best Aetna health insurance America can offer and it’s still really shitty. Try to get Blue Cross next time you grow up.
2mon
  •   emilyadel 2mon
  •   fwiz I love this so much 2mon
  •   spacecaase Ugh I love all the Jensons all the time 2mon
  •   markus_marquez Best thing I've read in weeks. 2mon
  •   katinkacoorie Dear 21 year old past Chrisina, See that cute girl putting up your curtains? You know the one that's been living in your shitty studio apartment with you for a while? Enjoy her. Because you're not going be in each other's lives for a whole lot of time. But future 25 year old you will still have a photo of her on your wall, and a shitty matching Pegasus tattoo on your ass to remind you of the fun you had. You won't forget her. And you like who seems to be at 28 even if all those careers didn't work out. The bloodclot pregnancy jokes are still good openers at parties. 2mon
  •   jensonnelson @katinkacoorie, Thank you!! Well done with the imagery. I'll never forget those few months in Ktown -- or the jeans and v-neck I was wearing the day I hung your curtains. Or the emotionless and somewhat creepy Beta funeral... or the Denny's everything... or the really spicy Bloody Marys. I'll never forget how patient and eager you were to help me perfect my standup sets and how impatient and anxious I was when you needed more time to get ready. I'll never forget any of it. It's all really beautiful and I know I'll see you again. 28-year-old me will have more money after these fucking weddings are over. Love you always. 2mon
  •   valiant_nipple You're the coolest, Jen. 2mon
  •   partyinthevalley It's still just so funny 2mon

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