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jensonnelson @steveheiss, wipe those hearts off your face. #drugrugz #periscope #lastnight #HappySteveEve 7d

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jensonnelson Just living that late 20's single white guy stereotype. 1w

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jensonnelson Sibling jamz on #periscope with @chrisnelsonwashere 2w

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jensonnelson I'm good at dating on the Internet. #tinder #basementparty #portland #missedconnection 2w

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jensonnelson Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Berg! #bergbash 2w
  •   therawins You're in Oregon? Welcome! Hope you enjoy it here. 2w

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jensonnelson My favorite #periscope moment ever. 4w

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jensonnelson Your friend with a car is here. Get in, you'll be fine. #Lyft 1mon

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  •   joedylan I hate big things 1mon
  •   jensonnelson @joedylan I'm with you, man. Big things are a bummer. 1mon
  •   joedylan Haha no but like they give me the willies, like i cant look at them. Not all things, but like i have a hard time standing next to the queen mary. Makes me nauseous and super anxious, its fuckin weird 1mon
  •   jensonnelson @joedylan you would have hated the cruise as much as my projectile vomited hated it. But really, I get what you mean. Standing next to a man made giant is unsettling to me, too. I'm not quite sure why. 1mon
  •   jensonnelson @jensonnelson typo up there^ whatever 1mon
  •   fwiz BE NICE, JENSON 1mon

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jensonnelson Dear Jenson of the past,

You’re 28 and sometimes you eat Lunchables for dinner – not because you’re broke, but because you’d rather work than shop for groceries, and you don’t care if you’re actually eating turkey or ham or gluten-free anything, which makes this easy. But to be clear, sometimes you are broke and you should probably start caring about what you’re ingesting.

Your dining room table is pretty much always covered with clean and soon-to-be-steamed clothes, so this chair is your dinner table.

Your rent is about 25% of your salary because you insist on living alone (brat), BUT at least you have a salary. Your big sister is your neighbor and that’s fantastic – she makes you coffee and food and she surrounds you with love and animals.
You continue to play piano; thanks for that! Although the instrument itself cost more to move than it’s worth, playing it is rewarding and more therapeutic than anything imaginable. It's absolutely invaluable.
You probably won’t eat that Reese's for dessert; you’ll eat it in the middle of the night. The Capri Sun will make for a fun morning snack.

Turns out, you’re not a figure skater, you’re not a professional pianist, and thankfully you’re not a standup comedian. You’re really happy and that’s all that matters.
I’m sorry,

Present Jenson
P.S. You drive a purple Scion and you have the best Aetna health insurance America can offer and it’s still really shitty. Try to get Blue Cross next time you grow up.
1mon
  •   jensonnelson @katinkacoorie, Thank you!! Well done with the imagery. I'll never forget those few months in Ktown -- or the jeans and v-neck I was wearing the day I hung your curtains. Or the emotionless and somewhat creepy Beta funeral... or the Denny's everything... or the really spicy Bloody Marys. I'll never forget how patient and eager you were to help me perfect my standup sets and how impatient and anxious I was when you needed more time to get ready. I'll never forget any of it. It's all really beautiful and I know I'll see you again. 28-year-old me will have more money after these fucking weddings are over. Love you always. 1mon
  •   valiant_nipple You're the coolest, Jen. 1mon
  •   chefneight Budweiser? Really? 1mon
  •   jensonnelson @chefneight really really. 1mon
  •   chefneight @jensonnelson I'm not sure if I'm ok with that or not 1mon
  •   jensonnelson @chefneight shhh... just let me be me 1mon
  •   chefneight @jensonnelson I'll try, no promises tho 1mon
  •   partyinthevalley It's still just so funny 4w

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jensonnelson Girl pile 1mon
  •   abcdes I missed this!!!!!! 1mon

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jensonnelson Congratz @adamrindy & @partyinthevalley! Y'all are going to be the best parents!!!!! 1mon

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jensonnelson I just witnessed my bestie match with my brother on #tinder... MY HEART IS EXPLODING WITH JOY! @kaygrill + @chrisnelsonwashere = 1mon

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jensonnelson My #MCM? None of these idiots. #bergbachelorbash 1mon

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