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imkristen_ “my mother always said i was beautiful and i finally believed her at some point.” lupita nyong’o • i think it happened when i realized how beautiful i thought my mother was, and the truest places of my heart hoped she saw what i saw when she looked at herself. sure, she was bald and wrinkled and had one balloon-arm and one skinny-bones-arm. she had rashes on her face because chemotherapy has side effects. make-up made her skin itch, so did wigs. she didn't wear either very often. and my, she was beautiful. i mean, of course her soul/spirit/inside was beautiful. but i'm talking about the way she looked: mesmerizingly, wonderfully beautiful. and it dawned on me, "maybe this is how she feels about me?" 10h

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imkristen_ for mom's birthday yesterday i made her swiss chicken recipe (i had forgotten about it, and was so thrilled to find her old recipe book with handwritten index cards). she taught me to always have red and green on the plate when serving dinner ("it's more appealing.") and the last year of her life she ate enough asparagus to fuel a rocket. it reminds me of making it for her when i smell it. happy birthday, mama! thanks for the memories... and meal after meal after meal after meal. 22h

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imkristen_ "you're young until you're not." #rowdy365 #makeportraits #vsco 2d

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imkristen_ i rode the train from dallas. mama came too, and showed me that growing darkness can make the bright colors better. / part two of three / #toldinthreeparts #theresmamabear #vsco #vscocam #vscoluv 2d

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imkristen_ i rode the train from dallas. mama came too, and showed me that the best is yet to come. / part one of three / #toldinthreeparts #theresmamabear #vsco #vscocam #vscoluv 2d

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imkristen_ last year i knew it was her last birthday with us. she was finishing brain radiation and i could see the peace in her eyes -- the death peace. she knew it was coming, she was ready. a year earlier she was anxious about dying; scared and maybe even mad. but i'll never forget the calm, absorbent air about her that day. she sat with her whole family, eating at a beautiful restaurant in a valley of hills, and she watched us all. she soaked us up, ate slowly, eyes glittering, full of tired happiness. her wig itched, her mac-and-cheese was cheesy, her family dazzled her, her husband was funny and she laughed. we didn't talk about cancer or last parties or what might happen in 95 days. we were just together, her warmth wrapping over all of us. unobtrusive, bare-souled, perfect. happy birthday, mama. i still can't believe i got to be the one loved and looked at like you loved and looked at me. i can only imagine the face of your father today, looking at you. well lived, well done, it is well. 3d

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imkristen_ "children are people, and they should have to reach to learn about things, to understand things, just as adults have to reach if they want to grow in mental stature. life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows. most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. the important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil." #waltdisney #rowdy365 #vsco #vscocam #vscoluv 4d
  •   imkristen_ (honey-gram's house is so very fun.) 4d
  •   afarrsimmons What are your top 5 favorite books? I love the quotes you put up! 4d
  •   cindy1962 ️it's fun having you here!! 4d
  •   imkristen_ @afarrsimmons oh goodness. i might not be able to tell you my top five favorite books, but i can tell you five of my favorites! notes from a tilt-a-whirl by nd wilson, daring greatly by brene brown, blue like jazz by donald miller, cheaper by the dozen by frank gilbreth and recently anything written by shauna niequist 4d
  •   isamilk9 :) 4d
  •   lauren.21 I love him so much 4d

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imkristen_ B A B I E S D O N ' T K E E P W O R K S H O P recap • link in profile “One morning as I was leaving, the director said I didn't have to leave the set anymore.
What happened? Why did they change their ways of treating me?
I came to the realization that it was because I had a mother. My mother spoke highly of me, and to me. But more important, whether they met her or simply heard about her, she was there with me. She had my back, supported me.
This is the role of the mother, and in that visit I really saw clearly, and for the first time, why a mother is really important. Not just because she feeds and also loves and cuddles and even mollycoddles a child, but because in an interesting and maybe an eerie and unworldly way, she stands in the gap. She stands between the unknown and the known.
In Stockholm, my mother shed her protective love down around me and without knowing why people sensed that I had value.” [Maya Angelou, Mom & Me & Mom] #babiesdontkeepworkshop
5d
  •   conniedraws Great capture 5d
  •   ally_michele Looks like everything turned out so so so great!! High five you and well done w.the big picture and all the details!! :) 5d

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imkristen_ "there is more beauty in truth, even if it is a dreadful beauty. the storytellers at the city gate twist life so that it looks sweet to the lazy and the stupid and the weak, and this only strengthens their infirmities and teaches nothing, cures nothing, nor does it let the heart soar." john steinbeck • the place where the angels came for my mother and carried her away; a dreadful, orphic, boring, perfect kind of beautiful-place. 5d

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imkristen_ once upon a time there was a boy without much hair. though he missed out on some of life's biggest hair squabbles (tangles, deciding on a part, sand that won't come out, haircuts from a clueless mom) he's also endured bald problems (easy sunburn, looking like a grandfather, being compared to caillou, coldness). but, just as the leaves of autumn, his hair sprouts have started to change. to the point where he is real bed head. and it made his clueless mom smile. the end. #vsco #vscocam #makeportraits #rowdy365 #vscoluv 5d
  •   alwaysalliemae Oh no, not Caillou. 5d
  •   catwatson Coldness 5d
  •   erin._walker I know what you are going through ! My little girl is 3 years old and has such light blonde color hair and very little hair everyone thinks she's a boy ! 5d
  •   jessicasmart8 psh caillou? I need to find a short hair cut I like for Ky. The girl comments are getting i bit out of conrtol. See it could be worse haha! 5d
  •   partywavesd Nice 5d
  •   lydiajane Roobee locks!! 5d
  •   laurinliz 5d

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imkristen_ R Y A N D A Y M O R R I S 🌖 "when destiny calls you
you must be strong. i may not be with you but you've got to hold on. we'll show them together cause you'll be in my heart. yes, you'll be in my heart... now and forever more." #infantlossawarenessmonth #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #pregnancyandinfantloss #waveoflight
6d
  •   elliebe_ you have such a beautiful way with words. thank you for sharing your heart with the world. love you. 6d
  •   mrsdot Love you. 6d
  •   cindy1962 6d
  •   courtneyminard love you Kristen. missing ryan... 6d
  •   darlabrunson Thanks so much for sharing your heart....people that have never lost a child simply don't understand the confusing loss that a mother feels when we have held those sweet ones in our wombs yet never allowed to hold them in our arms. love you... 6d
  •   jessicasmart8 ::hugs and love:: 5d
  •   ally_michele Loveyou friend and your sweet little man!! 5d

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imkristen_ his new phrase is "dada! we work!" and it might be the best three words strung together... ever. #rowdy365 7d

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imkristen_ "people themselves alter so much, that there is something new to be observed in them for ever." jane austen • #prideandprejudice #vsco #vscocam #vscoluv #goodmorning 7d

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imkristen_ i wear two little golden r's around my neck, and i carry two little plus signs in my purse. maybe it's weird, but it makes me feel closer to both my babies. there's my blonde one you can see, and my invisible one the angels keep. the one rubbing peanut butter on my face, and my secret one held in a magic country. there is nothing like seeing that little plus sign. for me it was a scary, speechless, warm, sentimental, powerful, simple feeling. plus one, forever. it feels strange to go about life minus one. i didn't write that equation, dream of that outcome. but once that little soul was added to my life, he could never *really* leave. he's a part of me, and i of him. my heart grew three sizes those plus-sign days. i'm thankful for new ability to understand the risk, wonder, and high value of love thanks to both my kids. #miscarriageawareness #miscarriage #octoberawarenessmonth #ryandaymorris 1w
  •   ksolom8 That's so beautifully put Kristen 1w
  •   eranryin Kristen, I'm so sorry for your loss but happy for your ability to put your feelings into words. Have you read "Tiny Beautiful Things" by Cheryl Strayed? In her book, she writes an essay on this very topic and it's so touching...I think you might benefit from hearing her perspective. Love your writing. 1w
  •   lydiajane I love you. 1w
  •   lauren.21 love you so much 1w
  •   shannon.12 I love your 2 little kids so much! 1w
  •   amyfedeli Beautiful. 7d
  •   mrsdot Love you. 7d
  •   sweetlittlebean I still keep the clothes Alivia wore tucked away in my drawer. They have long ago lost her scent but its comforting to know they are there. And when I need to cry I can pull them out. So glad you have something tangible to hold on to. I'm so sorry you have to hurt like this. I would never wish this kind of grief on ANYone. But it is making you into one of the most strong and beautiful women I know. Hang in there..."weeping may last for a night but joy comes in the morning." We have so much to look forward to in heaven. Crying with you and longing for that day. Love you so much. 6d

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imkristen_ fall flowers might be the best flowers. maybe they know how important it is to be the last batch before winter sets in. #vscocam #vscocam #vscoluv 1w

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imkristen_ if you live in or have visited the dc area and haven't been to the top of george washington masonic memorial, you're missing out. #vsco #vscocam #vscoluv 1w

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imkristen_ i'm not really one to post "back of the camera" shots. full-res is unarguably better. exception tonight: i'm a happy little sister-in-law! @danielmorrismusic @itserinjames #makeportaits #makecousins #vscocam #vscoluv 2w

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imkristen_ just your friendly reminder: stop and smell the roses (or rub them in your eyes). #rowdy365 #butlersorchard 2w

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imkristen_ i'm so grateful that the heart of washington dc fills my head with memories of my childhood. and having friends (aka: soon-to-be sister-in-laws) in town is a good excuse to see such marvelous sights #washingtondc #vsco #vscocam #vscoluv 2w
  •   imsarahc 2w
  •   lauriciadawn 2w
  •   karamichal We lived in DC for two months near Capitol Hill and I miss being able to see this every day 2w
  •   lisaleeeee congrats on your future SIL!! hehe 😬 2w
  •   jillianwishart Miss this place so 2w
  •   itserinjames thank you for taking me to such magical places. (& to eat such delicious pizza) 2w

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imkristen_ october sixth is a pretty great birthday day. because @ally_michele was born today, too. and she's one of the most incredible human beings i've ever known. gives (too much), loves (so hard), and knows how to make a memory like none other. i love you, friend. 2w

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