imkristen_ "i will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but i will let you see me, and i will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. truly, deeply, seeing you." brene brown 14h

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imkristen_ there are dream days, the days i'd describe if someday asked the question at a party. "if money weren't an issue and you could spend one day doing anything, what would you do?" my answer usually involves something about coastal france or italy, all the people i love, and truck loads of food. but then there are the perfect days. the days where all three of us sleep in until close to noon. where we have a hot breakfast waiting for us downstairs (thanks dad! i don't take it for granted!), and lots of people are in the house: equal parts family and non-family. then we take rowdy to pick strawberries and he's interested and polite and juicy, and then he rides those big slides on burlap sacks and pretends to drive the tractors. then we get peach-and-pink-lemonade snowballs at my sister's soccer game, and watch her score twice. afterwards we drive to the national cathedral for a handsome photo session. caleb and rowdy walk the bishop's garden for a full hour while i work, and all on his own roo stopped to observe and declare each plant "so beautiful, daddo!" we had 2 amy's for dinner (fried rice-and-cheese balls to start, margherita pizza to end). after showers for all we all slept under a down comforter in the air conditioning. i've lived through a number of "intermingled days" where joys and pains are like a braid. i've also known the days that were essentially complete "hard" with nearly light to shine on the pockets of happiness. but yesterday was one of the rare ones. a day that makes me imagine what all of forever might be like. a perfect day in real life. "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming from the father of lights." it's because of the good-hard gifts i've been able to so enjoy the good-magic gifts. 2d

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imkristen_ "isn't it cool that one day you might have little people running around your house that are half you and half the person you love?" rowdy is officially in the stage where he brings me flowers he picks all on his own. it started on this past trip to california. when he gives it to me he instructs "put'in on a cheek." (meaning: he wants me to tuck it behind my ear). whether it's cloudy or bright or cold or warm or wet or dry, when he walks out the door he announces "it is-a beautiful day!!" when he was having a temper tantrum in his stroller last week i crouched down in front of him and said "rowdy. you need to stop kicking. calm down." without skipping a beat, in still high-emotion-tone he wailed "iiiiii'mm sorry, stroller!" he still speaks in third person and is starting to narrate not just what he's doing, but also what he's thinking. he thinks all airports are "oka-la-homa city." he climbed "the cave" (cliffs) at zuma beach like it was old hat. we're having so much fun with this person. #morriscrewinca 3d
  •   s_wood73 Your posts are always so inspiring to me! 3d
  •   lydiajane Gosh I love that little guy. I know some day he'll stop speaking in third person but I hope it's not anytime soon 3d
  •   dre_k_ Love it (and Behr believes all hotels are Oka-homa haha). 3d
  •   cindy1962 3d
  •   shekinahspringsfarm I love it that he thinks all airports are OKC! I need roosty to come back soon and harvest some sugar snap peas with me. 3d
  •   elizabethbaxter We love that rabbi. 3d
  •   jillianwishart Your hair is looking gooood. 3d

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imkristen_ i've seen many brides waiting to be married; many women waiting to become a parent; many friends land their dream school or job ... and i've never seen anyone eagerly anticipate anything more than my mom did heaven. she was ready to die. her own mother, total health, the colors she'd never seen, her babies she'd never met, that feasting table, no more racing just pleasure. there was so much to look forward to, and she did. her only struggle with dying was her children. "i'm so sad that my kids are going to be the kids who lost their mom. they're still so young, they have so much life yet. i know god has a good plan for them, but i might have to ask him what it is when i get there. even in heaven i'm not sure my mother-heart will be able to stand seeing them hurt." lauren flew (over the OCEAN, for a few minutes) by herself for the second time. she's the one who battles fears and how big they get in her mind. shannon just gave a brief speech in front of her whole class, and though she had it written out, she decided to wing it when she got up there and just speak. she's the one who battles self-confidence and acceptance. dude just rolled in around ten o'clock after hanging out with friends all evening. he's the one who tends to be a hermit and mom worried would just totally close up. kevs called about five times to touch base for schedules and make sure everyone had what they needed. he's historically been the forgetful, irresponsible kid. katie made a decision about college, and she can hardly decide what to order at a restaurant. tim works six days a week, loves life and calls home almost every day. he used to be a bummed out, angry human. "it's a world of laughter, a world of tears. it's a world of hopes, and a world of fears." i think they're the kids who found their mom. 5d
  •   rachel_marini Thank u so much for sharing! God is so good and He is at work in your family. Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose" 4d
  •   sherwoodfam Your insight is so inspiring to the rest of the world! God bless you Kristin for being obedient! Your Mama is so proud of you as you store up those treasures in Heaven and bless those of us still here by sharing your gifts; your words, your eyes, your heart, your pictures! You are special and God is using you in ways it sure you don't even realize! #beablessing 4d
  •   sherwoodfam I'm* 4d
  •   danielletrista beautiful 4d
  •   me_emilym Wow, I so love how God takes care of His children. This is beautiful. 4d
  •   angelamarie418 4d
  •   emgprice beautiful 4d
  •   nadiabrahim 3d

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imkristen_ as a photographer, i had half a dozen "favorite moments" of @danielmorrismusic and @itserinjames' wedding day... but as "kristen" the best man/maid-of-honor speeches were the best. erin and her sister, mandy, are 17 months apart, and more like twins than "just sisters." and caleb's connection with dan since the womb has been supernaturally strong. neither caleb or mandy are the "center stage public speaking comfortable in the spotlight" type. neither are super comfortable writing out their hearts and then reading out loud to a 100 people. but these two. man. some of the most thoughtful, kind, articulate, meaningful toasts i've ever heard. caleb worked on his for over four hours, and i fell asleep the night before to him practicing. i was a proud little wife and feel so blessed to have all these people in my life. (and welcome to the family, erin and mandy!) #happilyevermorris2015 7d

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imkristen_ i like to travel because my comfort zone is "kind of crazy chaos with purpose." i like to travel because it's good for me to see with my own two eyes all the people, all the places, living their lives too. i like to travel because it keeps me on my toes, and i'm usually surprised at how well we can handle what's thrown our way. i like airports, gas stations, rental car facilities, highways, terminals, and confirmation emails. i like to travel to watch caleb and rowdy and anyone else we're with enjoy themselves -- their joy becomes mine. it's so fun to share fun and it's so relieving to do something hard with help. i like to travel because i can taste flavors i couldn't if i stayed in one place. a friend recently wrote about god's goodness being experienced through "tasting and seeing" and her thoughts resonated with me. i like to travel because it's hard work, and it feels good to put in the effort. i like to travel because it gives me perspective and patience and flexibility. i like to travel because it's fun! i like to travel because it's an opportunity i've been allowed in my life, and the ability to might change a lot over time, so it would be ridiculous of me to only see the problems traveling holds when someday i'll likely miss all the lovely parts. i like to travel because it is a gift and a very special part of being a part of this great, big, beautiful world. and right now i like to travel because i get to have these weird days where flights have issues so instead of heading home, we eat brooklyn-style water bagels, and lay around the pool, and go to bed at 5pm (and sleep -- all three of us! -- in a hotel bed for 14 hours). i love the weird "only while traveling" memories! #morriscrewinca 7d

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imkristen_ "nights like this are the payoff for making it through another midwest winter. we plod through a lot of dark, cold months, and then there’s this brief, glorious season of green and light and sand and loveliness. let’s soak it up, every moment. here’s to tomatoes and strawberries, sandy feet and pink shoulders, late bedtimes and lazy mornings. here’s to days without makeup and ice cream for dinner and letting things go a little bit, slower and sweeter and quieter. here’s to summertime, wherever you are." shauna niequist • after a day in malibu, a huge family lunch of woodfire pizza and organic salad on an outdoor patio with ocean views, we climbed point dume and stopped at the fruit stands in the mountains on the way home. i could eat those memories for many dinners. #morriscrewinca 1w

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imkristen_ we pulled up to malibu today and he said "roostie want'in to have that beach." if there'd ever been a wish i was so happy to grant 1w

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imkristen_ one of the most perfect days in a very long time. it's kind of crazy how every wedding, even after all these years, makes me fall more in love with life, the stories of redemption, and how strong relationship really is all that matters. the newest mr. and mrs. morris have been some of the hardest *ever* to direct while photographing... because they are so constantly, happily distracted in the moment, over and over again. they're the real deal. and today was nothing but spectacular and happy. happy first day of marriage, you love birds! we adore you! #happilyevermorris2015 #imkristenphotography 2w

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imkristen_ last year when we decided to move into our home in oklahoma, i felt ready and newly peaceful -- it had never been right to move there for me... until all of a sudden it was. we would need to commit nearly all of our time and money to tackling another round of house projects, and it is a slow process. though i felt good about doing it, the little "care of my heart" was that i'd perfectly adored being on the road as much as we had the past few years. we love airports, rental car buildings, road trips, new cities, old cities, keeping track of boarding passes, living out of suitcases, eating in found joints, seeing a variety of places with our eyes, sharing it with each other and our boy. i 'knew' we wouldn't have the resources to keep such a travel-full schedule and work on the house. and then, through an emotionally exhausting and physically weary winter of building and moving, wedding inquiries all around the country started to come in. and before long our summer was filled up with weekend trips for work, including some of our "never been, but it's on our dream list" cities. i've gone through enough to know that god isn't a vending machine, and that he is good whether travel happens or whether life is spent mostly at home. but i'm more grateful than any of my 2015 brides could possibly know that we get another summer of sights and suitcases. he knows, he cares, he gives, he takes away. i'm learning how to enjoy the giving with open palms not clenched fists and in so doing find such joy. ps. if anyone is interested in a family/senior/baby/portrait/engagement or mentor session this sunday may 17 at ventura beach, let this girl know! pps. how teary is the view from our airbnb home-for-the-wedding?! happy trails! 2w
  •   meaganwanschura Sounds good! :) 1w
  •   hannah_rc_moore When will you be in DC? We'd love to do an anniversary shoot! 7d
  •   imkristen_ @hannah_rc_moore Ah! Yes yes yes! We'll be here the next three weeks, then again in mid July and late August! 7d
  •   hannah_rc_moore @imkristen_ Yay!! July or August would be perfect - I'll shoot you an email! (PS - We're at Disney right now - for the first time - and I've been thinking about you the entire time...I'm like, what would Kristen do?! haha) 7d
  •   dulcetulsi Hi Kristen! When will you be in Santa Monica?? I would LOVE to do a mentor session with you! 5d
  •   imkristen_ @dulcetulsi Hi there! I'll be in town the weekend of June 20! I'd love to meet you! Feel free to message me for more information and we can talk times 5d
  •   dulcetulsi AWW unfortunately that's the weekend I'm going on vacation! Hopefully I can catch you the next time you're around! Thanks for responding 5d
  •   such_a_meej If you're not crazy busy in DC we should meet up! 2d

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imkristen_ one of the great parts about having your own wedding and marriage is getting to be the cheerleaders when someone else is about to have *their* own wedding and start their own marriage. caleb and i are so enjoying being in california, excitedly counting down the hours for his twin brother's big day. it brings back so much, and reminds us of such a happy season. there's nothing like that long to-do list, the nail appointments, seeing loved ones as they trickle in from all over the country, the chatter, the high emotions, the peace, the stress, checking the weather, the rightness of it all. today the boys took daniel to disney for his bachelor party -- caleb said his cheeks are hurting from laughing and smiling so much. the girls enjoyed mani-pedis, tacos and each other. my rowdy had a tired-traveller, worn-out, fuss-face day and while he was flicking rice across the restaurant with his fork, the bride's mom said "isn't it so much fun? i so enjoyed every bit of being my girls' mom." in the moment i wasn't feeling so "this is fun!!" but her aware thoughtfulness affected me. it was fun -- fun to bring my son along to all these memories, to share my life and taco platter with him, to be his rice wiper. we ended the day with an lax run, downtown disney, road tripping with my sister-in-laws, and thai food in newport beach. "for mary kept all of these things stored in her heart, treasuring them." we're full of joy for you, erin and daniel! 2w

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imkristen_ roo's 30th flight is a special one! we're lax bound to celebrate with the first family wedding since ours... we're all SO excited. and i'm ready for my kid to have some cousins see you soon @danielmorrismusic and @itserinjames! 2w

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imkristen_ "and all the host laughed and wept, and in the midst of their merriment and tears the clear voice of the minstrel rose like silver and gold, and all men were hushed. and he sang to them until their hearts, wounded with sweet words, overflowed, and their joy was like swords, and they passed in thought out to regions where pain and delight flow together and tears are the very wine of blessedness." j.r.r. tolkien • loves i'd never known. thank you, maker, for letting us have each other. 2w

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imkristen_ "so, when you were running around in your high heels did you ever imagine this would be the backyard your husband gave you?" - caleb, the husband • you know how often you'll see someone's life through their instagram and it just looks so... lovely! even if you aren't jealous or wishing it was your life, the squares of their world still look great, right? well, let me make you feel better: we live in a par-finished construction zone, with dirty concrete and plywood floors, no dishwasher, no heat or AC, no walkways, no stair rails, no trim, no countertops or kitchen cabinets, no driveway (or rather: a 50 yards of slimy mud), and there is no trash company out here! since october all of our building and personal garbage has gone into a mountain in the yard. diapers. old meat. paper towels and toilet paper. broken glass. empty food cans. drywall pieces. the animals of the wood came to our buffet every night and strew their dinner about the rest of the yard. it was 10 feet tall. and it. is. gone. into the 20 yard dumpster. out of our yard! and a new deck is in its place. i can't say it's always "fun," but it is certainly personally satisfying to live a little differently, work very hard, and see the results happen over and over again right before our eyes. and much of it is strangely more fun than little miss hollywood of old could have known! better than i dreamed, prince charming ) #calebwithkristen 3w
  •   senaalexander You know I can relate. To alllll of this!! but you've got me beat -- I don't have a single picture of myself with a shovel.... In a skirt. 3w
  •   kendall_glab The skirt + work boot combination is a really great look on you Kristen 3w
  •   littlemommaof5 Our home has been under construction for 9 years!!!! And we have 5 kids!!! It has been pure chaos with lots of love & memories3w
  •   mrsdot You guys are so neat and tidy though. Love the story of your life. Get a driveway and we'll come visit! 3w
  •   breabird Aaannnd your hair is looking 3w
  •   ungria You are the best! Seriously, you inspire me to wwwrriiteeee and not be afraid of it! @imkristen_ 3w
  •   alwaysalliemae But still in a skirt 3w

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imkristen_ my dad is undoubtably a better housekeeper than my mom. he's methodical, task-oriented and loves to make everything efficient, from basketball teams to production managers to kitchens. however, his design aesthetic would be compared to a dentist's waiting room: lots of neutral, all furniture lining the walls and maybe a frame from big lots. mama was the heartbeat of the home with her cozy touches, pretty colors, unique finds, and vision for a big bed-and-breakfast imagined house. it's awfully dear to show up to their house and see my all my dad's cozy touches. he always works hard, but he isn't always cozy. he learned that from her. my favorite part is that all the flowers are fake, and there are hawaiian hibiscus blossoms, autumnal mums, hydrangeas, and poppies down there. "i just grabbed what was on sale. you know me!" he texted me last week in the middle of conversations about next steps for most the kids: "i'm playing multi-level chess without my queen!" at least the kingdom would be very approved by her highness 3w

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imkristen_ "remember that it is our souls which are god’s joy; not on account of what they do for him, but on account of what he does for them. all that he asks of them is to gladly accept his kindness, his generosity, his tolerance, his fatherly love." "often the souls we try to help are inclined to suspect us only of loving them because of the goal to which we want to lead them. they would rather – and quite rightly – believe that we only desire to support them because we love them. love them, therefore, and without any hidden intention." abbé de tourville • words i could dwell on for a long time. ️ pc / @shannon.12 3w

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imkristen_ "cause you were just a small bump, unborn for four months then torn from life. maybe you were needed up there but we're still unaware as why." ed sheeran • miscarrying for the first time, for me, was such a specific experience. laying with naked legs spread out, shifting on the suddenly noticeably-loud paper, watching a still, silent screen. a few days later leaving the emergency room with instructions to, basically, come back if you're bleeding to death or passed out. trying to decide if we should to get on our flight in two hours or wait in los angeles for "things to happen." deciding to fly and go to faraway peaceful places in my concentration with lots of calm slow breathing all flight, praying i wouldn't end up doing this 30,000 feet over phoenix. landing safely. going into a relatively big medical event with no training or help or "look for this" or educated support. just two twenty-something's in a bathroom digging through a tub, googling images trying to match up what we were seeing. finding my shopping bags filled with clothes i bought for him in my tucked in suitcase. wrapping him up in a blue towel, sealing him in a ziploc and seeing the "package" on the counter the next morning. driving to our land in oklahoma to bury him. choosing his name on our drive over while i held my hands around his box, similar to how i hold my bump when i'm pregnant. putting his life into the dirt and covering it up. feeling, once again, completely supported and loved by my people. so many specific firsts, so many especially strong memories for me. caleb and i talked this morning about how different our life would be if he had lived: we wouldn't have had our house liveable, we wouldn't have moved to oklahoma yet, we wouldn't have traveled to montreal and nyc and the bahamas this winter, rowdy would have a little brother, we'd probably even be talking about when we'd have baby number three. caleb asked how i was feeling today and i said "reflective." life is crazy like that. life grows you up, makes you brave, and helps you soak up all the joy you possibly can. i'll never forget the body i delivered on may 3, 2014 or the soul i'll meet beyond the rainbows. #ryandaymorris 3w
  •   lindscooperj I lost my sweet Elliott Tobias in October, his due date is creeping up on us. My heart is heavy but I trust in God's plan, all things happen in His perfect will. 3w
  •   lydiajane Love you, bestie. Ryan will always be so dear to me. He "saw" so much in his weeks with us. I love heaven more because I'll get to meet him one day. 3w
  •   bobbie__brown Oh goodness. I have tears for you. And yours. May God bring you peace each day.... 3w
  •   mrsremi Love you. 3w
  •   lauraradniecki God bless you, Kristen. Praying for you all. 3w
  •   ally_michele Love you friend. 3w
  •   allixryanruby Mmmm. Missed this. What a beautiful tribute for your second little man who has a purpose and a place in Heaven's Kingdom, wanted and loved on earth in a small trifle of a way compared to how much he is wanted and loved in Heaven. It's hard for me (and I'm sure for you and Caleb) to see why him dying was necessary, but I know, Ryan living must have meant something to his Creator. I don't know what meeting Ryan (and my three little nameless siblings) will be like. I don't know what our relationship to them will be, I don't know what they'll look like or how we will even know. But it will be so dizzyingly right that my soul does cartwheels just thinking about it. Love you very much and the brave Mama God is shaping you into. 3w

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imkristen_ good lord. my boy. with those believing eyes, and all the wonderful and funny things you think. i found my baby book from 1989 last night, and in it my mom wrote "dear kristen, i hope you never feel like you have to prove yourself to me. i hope you know how completely loved you are already and always." her hope was her heartbeat as a mother, and it came to pass. she made me feel liked and loved and very welcomed in her life. and when he looks in my eyes, even for a few seconds, like he feels the same way with me as i did with her, everything is beautiful. amidst the constant chatter, and his little toe print bruises on my thighs from his climbing, and asking to watch "peppa pig, mama!", and trying to drink my berry smoothie on his own (and mostly failing), and losing his s*** for unsolvable reasons, and darling ditties he says out loud, and his love of holding hands, and calling the swiped poo on his finger "peanut butter!", and that awful growl/hiss he does when he's mad, and how he always sleeps under the covers with mickey mouse in the crook of his arm, and how he's expressive and communicative with his emotions ("roostie sad. roostie so sad." "roostie happy! roostie clappin'!"), and his great dumping skills, and his great playing alone skills, and his moist-cheeked sleep face with husky breaths, he likes to be with me. he would hang with me all day. he grows a few shades brighter when we play. he's concerned when he can tell i'm disappointed. and he begs to do every fun thing together "more again! more again!" it's as if his little love cup steams from warmth. so now i carry that hope from one side of history to another: i hope you never feel like you need to prove yourself to me. i hope you know how completely loved you are already and always. 4w

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imkristen_ this year, my first as a homeschool teacher, we learned about the ancient european guild system in sixth grade history. "an aspiring master would have to pass through the career chain from apprentice to journeyman before he could be elected to become a master craftsman. he would then have to produce a sum of money and a masterpiece before he could actually join the guild. if the masterpiece was not accepted by the masters, he was not allowed to join the guild, possibly remaining a journeyman for the rest of his life." tonight i spent an hour at caleb's current client's home. he's wrapping up an unbelievable renovation (i should show you a "before and after." but the "after" is still crazy on its own). the husband of the home bragged to me about caleb's precise attention to detail. "see how he left just enough room for the stone to fit perfectly inside the moulding? most people wouldn't do that." his wife added "people don't build like this anymore. they just don't. he truly is a master craftsman." april 28, four years ago, he asked me to be his girlfriend. he told me "i think if we were in love, we could do anything." it's been the joy of my life to watch his prediction come to pass; to be in the good of love with such a master. 4w

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imkristen_ the three of us were laying in bed well after noon on sunday, enjoying sweet sweet rest together. rowdy pulled up the covers and found my soft stomach. "squisz-shee!" "yeah, mama is so squishy! roostie, do you see those?" i traced my white stretch mark remains. "those are from when roostie was in mommy. did you know you lived inside mommy? and you grew and grew and stretched me out! that's where you were!" he has the best 'serious listening face,' and he was seriously listening. "see," i pointed out while letting him squish along and put his fingers in my self-consciously deep belly button, "roostie used to be a little baby and live inside mommy!" without skipping a beat he said, in perfect, unbroken english, "oh! thank you, mama!" and gave my stretch marks a big kiss. #hopeformotherhood #livethelittlethings #theeverydayproject #vsco #vscogrid #thevillagemagazine #honestmotherhood 4w

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