gordonshumway I carved my pumpkin to look like Phil Collins. 2d

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Mayfair Jelisa Castrodale
gordonshumway I really did just slip on this. Later tonight, I look forward to being poked in the eye and taking a pie to the face before eventually being crushed by a falling piano. 5d

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gordonshumway Heathcliiiiff, it's me, your Cathy, come hooooome. 1w
  •   mabe855 Yes, please!! Where can this be found? 1w
  •   rogerboltin Aww, it even comes in a shot glass 1w
  •   gordonshumway @mabe855 At Whole Foods...but it's also now available in my freezer. 1w
  •   mabe855 I may have to come confiscate this ice cream!! 1w
  •   gordonshumway @mabe855 I don't want to obstruct justice, but I'm gonna put up a fight. 1w
  •   mabe855 I do have a Taser and make a convincing argument. Or maybe just settle for a small cup. Ha 1w

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gordonshumway Where do you even buy canned kitten? 2w
  •   typedrawer Whole Foods... they have organic canned kitten. 2w
  •   randomesq I can them at home for a yearly savings of $43. 2w
  •   randomesq I mean, it helps to get the kittens in bulk. 2w
  •   deanbuchan I saw an ad in the back of a dirty magazine. 2w

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gordonshumway Can we stop pretending that anyone has ever eaten one Pop Tart at a time? 2w

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gordonshumway This tends to be an under-represented genre of music. 3w

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gordonshumway Je ne regrette rien. 3w

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Normal Jelisa Castrodale
gordonshumway Forget it, I only buy cards from poorly managed forests. 3w

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gordonshumway This Jethro Tull record is going to be the table centerpiece for every formal dinner I host from now on. 4w
  •   stevewhitaker That's because you are a woman of great taste and class, my friend. 4w

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gordonshumway Is there anything more conspicuous than a new pair of Chucks? 4w
  •   eangevine Yes, new Vans. At least the ones I go for. 4w

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Normal Jelisa Castrodale
gordonshumway Weird coincidence: "Heavyset Cheese Ball" is actually how I describe Paula Deen. 1mon

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gordonshumway Who you gonna call? Diabetes! 1mon

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gordonshumway I hate everything. 1mon

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gordonshumway Stoplight sunset. (And one self-explanatory caption.) 1mon

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gordonshumway Jeff Koons, "Three Ball 50/50 Tank" 1mon

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X-Pro II Jelisa Castrodale
gordonshumway I am standing outside, quietly judging everyone who walks in for this. 1mon
  •   rogerboltin It's America. That's what we do 1mon
  •   biorhythmist Turns out it's just a big hole through the center of the earth 1mon
  •   sweetlou122 "You're leaving now,....it's in your eyes " 1mon

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gordonshumway This is the most unbelievable Liverpool bar I've been to. 1mon

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gordonshumway I got something for you guys. (Not the balloons, I took that kid's scooter.) 1mon

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gordonshumway Good God, The Replacements were amazing. I can't even use real words right now. 1mon

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gordonshumway The Hold Steady Almost Killed Me. 1mon

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