funkydineva ****Singing to the melody of Beyonce’s ‘Get Me Bodied” **** “I don’t care I’m doing me tonight, a lil head ain’t never hurt nobody.” Chile that’s what 22-year old substitute teacher Symone Greene thought until she got caught sucking dick down to da school. Mama hit her knees and went to work on an 18-year old football player in her classroom immediately following a pep-rally. To top things off, this was Greene’s FIRST DAY OF WORK. Chile miss thing didn’t waist no time putting in overtime. Talk about going above and beyond the call of duty. What baffles me the most is, who the hell wants to suck football player after a pep-rally dick? It’s been some years since I last walked the halls of a high-school, but if my memory serves me correctly, at pep-rally’s, the players have on some variation of their uniforms, are running and jumping around, and working up a funk. Quiet as its kept, If I was gonna suck any dick in the school house, it would have had to have been before the morning announcements, and not no damn pep rally.

Get into the rest of the adventures of The Howngry Substitute
CONTINUE READING → www.funkydineva.com
6h

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Normal Funky Dineva

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funkydineva Well, another one bites the dust. Just when I thought we had a reality television show out there with semi classy Black women who were doing positive things, Geneva Thomas had to haul off and bust Melyssa Ford in the head with a vodka bottle. That’s right! according to reports, Melyssa Ford had to be taken to the hospital where she received 3 staples to close the wound in her head. Additionally she cut her foot on some broken glass. The assault happened Tuesday night (10/21/14) on a boat while the cameras were rolling for season 2 of Blood Sweat & Heels.

Geneva was arrested, as she should have been. I’ve got a feeling she’ll probably be fired and sued. Y’all better learn from Da Brat and the stint she did in prison. You cannot just go around busting people in the head with bottles. Especially if they still have liquor in them! Hell, do y’all know what a bottle of Ciroc goes for these days?

I wonder what set Geneva off? That girl probably got tired of y’all saying she looks like Wesley Snipes and snapped!
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funkydineva For the life of me, I can’t figure out who this girl is and what the hell she does. Y’all probably can’t either. She supposedly has an album coming out in November. By no means am I hating. I’m happy for Teyana. She’s been able to turn a whole bunch of nothing into something. Hell, I wish someone would offer me a spread in Elle magazine. For though, Elle is a pretty big deal. I wonder if Kris Jenner is Teyana’s manager. Y’all have to admit, Teyana has that Kim Kardashian thing going on. She is famous and we really don’t know why. I will say this, Mama’s body is looking good, and she served the camera what it needed.

Check out the rest of Teyana’s spread…
CONTINUE READING → www.funkydineva.com
3d

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funkydineva I’m going to be real with y’all. I don’t half follow The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Primarily because I don’t understand rich Italian people and their problems. However, when I do catch it every now and again, I love to watch Teresa and Caroline. Caroline Manzo is my favorite. If you are anything like me, you are half way aware that Teresa and here thieving ass husband Jo are going to jail. After all that good living due to bank and wire fraud, Teresa now has the nerve to ask the judge can she do her stint in a half way house instead of prison. Chile this woman is trying to avoid prison come hell of high water. She first perjured herself on the stand in an attempt to avoid prison time, now she wants to pretty much serve out her sentence at a summer camp for grown people.

Teresa is trying to evoke The Second Chance Act. In a letter she sent to the judge, she expresses that according to the act, she has the right to serve 12 out of 15 months in half way house. Ohhh baby, but the prosecution is not having it with Teresa and her ploy to lessen the severity of her punishment. The prosecution wrote a letter to the judge vehemently objecting … claiming the judge made it clear she needed prison punishment, and nothing less.

Do you think Teresa should be allowed to serve out her time in a halfway house? Www.funkydineva.com
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  •   thatgirlmean Hell NO she should NOT be allowed to stay at a half way house. I sympathize with her children but NOT Teresa or Joe. If they were black they would serve ever bit of their time. 2d
  •   jerseyyy She's lucky she's only getting. 15 months with all those charges... Like she should be humble... Bc those charges literally were for decades ... 1d
  •   moments.in.miami Can her hairline go to the halfway house bc thats illegal 1d
  •   itsbosslady4sho Theresa talked plenty shit on the show like she tough... Send her to jail plz! Hell she only got 15 months! 22h
  •   spicedrum101 Fk her n that thick ass hairline she stole that money and wasn't scared why is afraid now 20h
  •   msucf10 @thatgirlmean amen to that sister. If she was black the mention of severing her time in a half way house would have never came up. Your ass would have went to jail/prison and your family/friends would have to take card of your kids. No questions ask and no damn special treatment. 15h
  •   msucf10 Take care! Typo! 15h

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  •   sshannaniganss @jessijanelb @onthatlctip is it too late to claim She by Sheree? 3d
  •   gotmylifebk @sshannaniganss haaaaa I'm weak at She by Sheree LOL 3d
  •   jessijanelb @sshannaniganss everybody wearing She by Sheree boo! 3d
  •   askbeans How about something from the Nicky Minaj collection at Kmart @bigedceezy 2d
  •   bigedceezy @askbeans I'm wearing Vokal 2d
  •   askbeans Wait I take that back ! @bigedceezy Imma go down to Rainbow and get me an ol nasty deep purple off the shoulder sweater dress , then across the street to dots and get me some black booties with a silver buckle then get my "Chanel" inspired purse from the corner store and an ol nasty 1B super long clip in ponytail to put on my brown hair with the edges slicked in the front for baby hairs 2d
  •   msucf10 How about a Babyphat shirt with some Rocowear jeans and shoes by EckoRed. 15h
  •   danelle___ @sugarmelts315 read these comments 10h

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funkydineva Chile, y’all better carry y’all asses down to da mall first thing tomorrow morning and buy up all the Oscar De La Renta you can find. The sh!t is already high, but the prices are about to go through the roof.

It saddens me to report that the legendary fashion designer has passed away at age 82.

ABC News:

Legendary fashion designer Oscar de La Renta has died, a family member told ABC News. He was 82.

De La Renta, who most recently designed Amal Clooney’s wedding dress, was diagnosed with cancer in 2006.

Born in the Dominican Republic in 1932, De La Renta left home at 18 to study painting in Madrid. It was there he developed a love of fashion design and began an apprenticeship with Cristóbal Balenciaga, who became his mentor, and then, landed a job with Lanvin in Paris.

He made his name in the early 1960s when first lady Jaqueline Kennedy frequently wore his designs, and launched his own label in the mid-1960s.

Let’s go on ahead and start planning the fune and the repass. What are you bringing? Www.funkydineva.com
4d

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funkydineva Y’all don’t see Rick Ross!!! Yes Gawd Hunty!!! His Illuminati application must have gone through, and he is going through his Jennifer Hudson process. Rick said it is too got damn hot in Miami to be tootsie rollin’ around with all them extra pounds. Ross took to his instragram account and posted 2 pictures showing off his estimated 100 pound weight loss. “I still eat the way I want to eat…I just go to the gym. I do this shit called CrossFit. I call it ‘RossFit.’”
I think I smell an endorsement deal coming on. One thing is for certain, the brother is looking good. Zara, H&M, and Express better watch out. Y’all know the first thing big people do when they lose weight is go to to all the skinny people stores and buy up all the sh!t they could never wear before. I’ve got a feeling in a year or so, we’ll be seeing Ross on the cover of Men’s Fitness magazine with a six pack wearing swimming trunks. I’m happy for him. I just hope he doesn’t pull an Oprah and keeps it off. -SEE MORE PHOTOS AT www.funkydineva.com
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funkydineva Let me start out by saying, with Love & Hip Hop, you never know whats real and whats fake. The show has taken such a contrived turn, that I don’t even try to keep up anymore. However, one thing that is real is the drama between Stevie J. & Benzino, and the dissipation of their friendship. It really saddens me that Stevie & Benzino have remained unable to salvage their friendship. For the life of me, I really don’t even get why they are mad with one another. Honestly, they probably don’t know why they are mad with one another. Quite frankly, the sh!t has gone on for far too long enough.

According to Benzino, Stevie J & Joseline may be potentially using their popularity as leverage to persuade the folks in charge not to bring Benzino back.: "SO WORD ON THE STREET IS, STEVIE A D JOSELINE IS TRYING TO USE EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO CONVINCE MONA SCOTT NOT TO BRING BACK ME AND ALTHEA BACK FOR SEASON 4........ WOW. Stay tuned"

No tea no shade, I could see Stevie J & Joseline pulling a stunt like this. It wouldn’t be the first time something like this has happened in reality television. However, if Mona Scott-Young did decide to not bring Benzino and Althea back, I’m sure it would have more to do with the lawsuit he filed after the reunion, and less to do with a casting recommendation from the likes of Stevie J & Joseline. I mean seriously, who the hell in their right mind would take orders from Stevie J or Joseline?

This isn’t all Benzino had to say. Check out the rest below.
CONTINUE READING → www.funkydineva.com
4d

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funkydineva Yes Gawd Hunty, maybe some new life will breath new life into Married to Medicine. According to Mariah’s Twitter feed, her and Dr. Huq are expecting twins.

I’m not sure what the photo was Mariah posted on Instagram, but it has since been deleted. I’m actually kind of excited about the news. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what these Medicine Wives were going to have to talk about this season. We are over Mariah & Quad and that stale drama, we are tired of Toya & Eugene being borderline homeless, and we don’t have time for Dr. Heavenly and that brown gel she uses in her hair. I wonder if Mariah has selected Dr. Jackie or Dr. Simone as her Ob/Gyn? Could make for really good television. Mariah could all her prenatal affairs in order and gossip at the same time. That’s how you kill two birds with one stone. Sounds like a production plus to me.

Congrats to Mariah & Aydin Huq on the expectancy of their twins!!! Www.funkydineva.com
4d

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funkydineva Kris Jenner is known for a lot of things, but I never knew cooking to be one of them. Quiet as its kept, I don’t believe this heffa has cooked a dinner a day in her damn life. She strikes me as the type of mother that stopped by Boston Market on the way her way home from soccer practice. If you really want to know the truth about it, I was done with this b!tch and this book when she got her ass Good Morning America this morning and attempted to make soup. Do you know this heffa told the people to go to the grocery store, buy a pre cooked chicken, shred it, and boil it in water in an attempt to make a broth? Now how the hell are you going to pull any juice out of an already cooked chicken? Chile, if you ask me, I don’t half think this heffa wrote this damn cookbook. Then again, with her trying to repurpose a rotisserie chicken, she probably did write it. Only someone who does not know their was around the kitchen would try to repurpose a chicken for broth.

Anyway, I’m not convinced Kris Jenner has the Midas Touch when it comes to her personal brand. We just don’t see it for her! She had a talk show that nobody watched, and now she’s got a cookbook that no one is going to buy. What the hell she needs to do is sit her ass down somewhere and spoil her grand baby. Kim & Kanye, if you know like I know, you better pack little North West’s meals before you drop her off to grandmas house. Www.funkydineva.com
4d

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  •   pcearcher @canatian86 you damn right!!! 4d
  •   seeknhappyville Absolutely @jamaicannickygettingfit Exactly it's to many parents that hold their children up when they are in the wrong! I agree totally 4d
  •   ashleymoman @b_javon !!! 4d
  •   the_real_mizpurplekisses That's why these kids are disrespectful because they are being raised by "chopper" wielding broads, lol . Teach your children ACCOUNTABILITY! If your TEENAGED child believes he/she can assault a teacher or any adult authority figure they have to understand that they will be assaulted back. If it was me, I would have molly wop'd that ass too. My OWN kids would never attempt to disrespect me like that and I Damn sure wouldn't let someone else's child hit me. The fuck? And mom's can get it too! And as a parent you should be more embarrassed that your child represented YOU in such a way. But I guess the perception of a "united front" is ok.. Lol but that shit don't work in a court of law. 4d
  •   erickadollface That's right!!! I'm a teacher n Im cosigning this here!!! 3d
  •   bunmi365 @wtommy1 Yeah, give her azz a one two ! 2d
  •   red6hot @funkydineva , you are Damn right! That's what's wrong with these half raised disrespectful monsters. No fear and no damn clue. These Martians are supposed to be the future? I'm terrified. 12h

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