Hudson Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup I Like my women mean. She don't entertain a soul if they ain't me. I love when a guy says "she's stuck up", "she's got an attitude problem". Nigga good, cause she ain't that way with me. You slide in her DM's she cracks her knuckles before she straight eithers yo ass and makes you regret even getting an Instagram account. She don't smile, she give 1 arm hugs, and her facial expression is on fuck you if you ain't me. Can't stand a friendly bitch always in the next man's face laughing at his corny jokes and entertaining his advances and conversation. You come at her on some "hey beautiful what's up??" she responds with "my man's dick" and chucks the deuces. #shoutouttothemeangirls #iloveyou #shegiveonewordresponses #no #bye #cool #k #sheaintwiththebullshit #sheworriedaboutyouandyouonly #tunnelvision #shedontlaughshechuckles "I'm lookin for her!" *@future voice* #meangirls #myReginaGeorge #lol #like #dailydose #nochattypatty 5d

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fcky0ul1ghtenup BRUH! My boo @jlo just turned 46 and I'd still pick her over any fresh chick in her 20's any day of the week and twice on Tuesday. #whyTuesday #causeitsgoingup #duh #happybirthdaybaby #jlo #vintage #vagina #fine #wine #straightGorG #love #dailydose #wce #wceveryday 5d

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup Then months later after ya'll break up, he's sitting on the edge of his bed looking at instagram photos of you and ya "brother" tongue kissing and having date nights..then he just think of all the times he was at her house "upset" cause he "needed to talk" and she said..let me call you back..and like the good boyfriend you were you said "sure babe". It was 6..now it's 2am and she text you like, "I'm tired I'll call you in the morning love you:)" so now that you know upset was code for horny and by needing to talk she meant record a verse on his mic while he made fire ass beats on her box..you kinda die inside a little..Not so much from the pure embarrassment and blatantly disregard they had for your life on planet Earth..but the fact he's been leaving when you've been coming in..and the first thing she did was tongue kiss you. Smmfh..and you wonder why when she burped it smelled like salami.....she's a vegan.....fuck... #femalesclassicline #heslikemybrother #abrotherwhogivesyouorgasms #nowyouknowwhytheyalwaysdiscussedmusicaroundyou #bitchesbelike #cantnobodyrockthemiclikeme #andhegoesimgonnaproduceabeatforyou #itsgonnahavealotofbass #boomboomboom #shetoldhimshelovesthewayhedoesbeats #hetoldherimgonnaneedyoutocomeoverandspitsomething #andyoustandingtherelookingstupideatingatunasandwich #lol #yougonbealrightbro #justwalkitoff #yougottafuckhermominherlittlesisterbedroomandsendheraselfieonMothersDay #itsnotrevengeitsbalance #theuniverseneedsit lol #yalldontunderstand #dailydose 6d

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup Group thought is killing society. Someone can spread a rumor..doesn't have to be true, doesn't have to even make sense..it quickly becomes FACT. There's no more guilty until proven innocent. There's not even anymore free thinking it seems..we are a generation of cowards. Whatever the popular opinion in the room is is what everyone gravitates to. "But people have always been this way" and that's true. But not in the technological age. Not with these many outlets. Information travels as fast as you blink..I saw a video of a young girl who committed suicide because her father uploaded a video of her to "teach her a lesson"..in shaming her on such a grand level it lead the young girl to jump off a bridge..the things people say and do is digusting. The most major issue with the world in 2015 to me is our misery has become our entertainment. We actually build websites (#TMZ #worldstar for example) to laugh, slander and spread horrible or embarrassing truth or lies to destroy a person's life..fuck it as long as it's funny right? What people will say and do for a like, upvote, follow, RT, or anything else is sickning. People want attention so bad they'll upload a man bleeding out on the street for views but won't call the police or ambulance (Capo, a rapper from Chicago)..we just see something and jump on..grouping together to publicly break people until they blow their fucking brains out..and the result? "They know what they signed up for" or "that's what they get"..and we call animals savage..my disdain for humanity has caused me to become misanthropic. If only we could group together to get some positive shit done..maybe in another life..I guess @cthagod was right.."no one cares about the truth anymore as long as the lie is more entertaining". #myPOV #dailydose #aintshitfunnyaboutthispost #commentifyouwish #sad #whathavewebecome #humanity 6d

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup To me..whether it's subtle, goofy, a seductive giggle, a baby smirk, a loud or over the top gut busting laugh..seeing a woman laugh or smile is one if the most beautiful things in the world. Ya'll need to start dedicating an entire day to it! call it #teethtuesdays or #smileysaturdays I don't care. But men love to see the ends of your mouth curl upwards. Take a time out from trying to look at the camera all sexy or that resting bitch face ya'll love so much lol and show a man some teeth baby! #smileformeboo #dailydose #happywomenarethemostbeautiful #showthemdamnteeth #postavideoofyourlaughorsmile #sexy #yeslawd #newwavealert #like #love #igbeauty 7d
  •   cinziamber Heyyyy that's me! ️ smile at a stranger, you never know if they really need that at the moment. 7d
  •   jen.xiomara That's me! Lol thanks, smiling never hurt anyone 🏾 7d
  •   moneeca 🏻 7d
  •   j.c.21 I love how you take these leaves where you just don't post 7d
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup @j.c.21 lol gotta live and make'em miss you. 7d
  •   im_rubi_gee But there are those that don't need to show their teeth.... a closed lip smile will suffice for them 7d
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup @im_rubi_gee lolll I'll accept one of those. 7d

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Juno Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup So check it..ya'll know I crack jokes but I also love to drop knowledge. I recently started reading the 48 Laws of Power again written by Robert Greene (if you haven't you should read it) and I decided every Wednesday I'm gonna share some of my favorite quotable's with you guys and I'm calling it #WisdomWednesday > life is all about balance. Be funny..more importantly be intelligent. #wheremyreadersat #Thelawsofpower #wisdomwednesday #dailydose #jewels 7d
  •   chiselchase Reading that book now g! @fcky0ul1ghtenup 7d
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup @chiselchase it's a life changer 7d
  •   steven925 Great book to read again an again!! @fcky0ul1ghtenup 7d
  •   l_chapo I ready the 48 laws of power a while ago and I was amazed when I had already knew and practiced and done at least 45 of the 48 laws I was shocked of how on point it is with the success I had its a manipulative mind controlling book it teaches u how to use your acquaintances or friends as pawns to get u where u need to be idk why bt after I read the 48 laws I felt such a empty dark energy over me maybe because I knew what I was doin and that it was wrong bt ultimately it was for my gains and process if your a mason you won't have that sympathy ul jst do w.e it takes to become successful for me it wasn't worth using the people around me even if that is the way to do it. 1d

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Ludwig Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup You got your toes in the air throwing up gang signs while he's going through the alphabet on your clitorus. Your moans echoing through the neighborhood and you start to think as you're inches away from spraying him like a water gun "I..i think I love him" you look down while he's putting in work to admire his overachieving mouth piece..left leg starts to twitch, back arches, your left eye on Forest Whitaker..you bout to bust! And he stops and says "lemme just put the tip in" -_____- you try and ignore it while you palming the back of his head like you bout to dunk in game 6..he puts his chin back down and starts kissing on your thighs..a defeated anger drowns your facial structure and your pussy dries up faster than Usain Bolt running a 40..he ask "what's wrong?" As if the room doesn't smell like #sweetpussysatday and depression..you pull up your pants and say "some people were just created for the friend zone"..and send your ex a text like "I was just thinking about you..I miss you". #yougonbealrightmamajustwalkitoff #heSeattleSeahwakedyou #gottothe1yrdlineandblewit #sometimeslifegivesyouhardlessons #justblockhisnumberforafewdayswhileyousubhimonsocialnetworks #dailydose #lol #bitchesbelike #allyouwantedwastobeadolphin 7d

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup You shoot @adrianalima club up for 3 yrs and you start to think..."maybe I wasn't meant to procreate"..you meet fiona's shrek looking ass on a heavily alcohol induced night..you throw a coat over head her for the ride home..wait til the coast is clear so ya'll can make a dash for the house (you never know who might see) get her inside..get some head and 9 months later you're the proud father of triplets and she couldn't be happier. #whylord #allshedidwassuckmydick #thatshowfertileuglychicksare #whydobadthingshappentogoodpeople #jesusdidntgrabthewheelthatnight #whenevershetextyouaboutanykidrelatedtopicsyoujustcryfromtimetotime #theresalwaysthatakward5secondsofsilenceafteryouintroduceherasyourbabymomma #peoplejustlookatyoulike #HOWSWAY #dailydose #lol #funny #tagyourfriendwithauglybabymoms 7d

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup I was involved with this girl, like any situation we had our ups and downs..but ultimately I told her she wasn't for me. We got into an altercation and as usual she was trying to trump me to showcase her lack of care about our situation, even though inside we both knew better. This time I didn't fight her..I said "you wanna go, go..you leave this time the doors locks behind you." She wanted to call my bluff and bounce. I washed my hands with her. A few days pass and she ask can we please talk. I answered the phone and she ask me "why?" I said all the times you wouldn't text me because I didn't text you. Walk out cause you felt like it. Say little things in every argument like "yeah whatever" or "do you"..the whole if he ain't doing it I ain't doing it and so on..every chance you got to show me you could stop caring to try and teach me a lesson or to check me, It drilled a message in my head..so despite anytime you tell me otherwise your actions trump anything postively affectionate you say towards me. You don't care because you're afraid of being hurt..or because you have been in the past. She wanted to beat me to a punch I never planned on throwing in the first place..when instead she should have been showing me that I have a higher level of meaning to her. See all that cold shouldering, the "oh wells" the petty ignoring me for hours when you see me calling/texting you..I see this in a lot of females in our generation..I use my own life experience here to show my humility. Maybe if females acted more like they use to. Show their heart like they use to..we as men would be more of what we use to. I feel like in the dating world women have the power to dictate a man's direction. You guys don't give yourself enough credit and that's the problem. Men have went to war over a woman..dynasties have fallen over a women. Respect your power...and point us in the right direction. #iknowthesepostarelongitsbeenawhileandigotsomeshittosay #itaintgonkillyoutoreadshutyoassup #lol #thisstoryisbasedontrueevents #dailydose #care #women #relationships #like #comment #igdaily #youkeepshowingsomeoneyoudontcareeventuallythatswhatyoullget #thenyoucanfakelikeyoudontcarebyyodamnself 1w
  •   mahbubah85 Honestly I felt the exact same thing with guys. They don't share emotions and that they care like I did. I couldn't be that I don't care or I won't text unless he does... I tried it just because my sister told me to, and guess what it worked! But it wasn't me so didn't last long @fcky0ul1ghtenup 1w
  •   mahbubah85 All depends on the guy or girl I guess 1w
  •   dani.duke I have so much a I want to say but I don't have time right now. I agree with this post and the comments. Men do the same thing though... 1w
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup @dani.duke well when you have time you better come bring that brilliant brain to us. 1w
  •   chrisj_bacon Very very accurate 1w
  •   l_chapo These women today dont have it in em to direct a man I have a family member of mine who was with his girl 5years and he broke up wit her becuz he found a girl who was more outgoing and she put her foot down more then his ex we men do need dat direction bt they jst dont have it in em in todays world I completely agree with yiur statement that women need to be women in a mans world men today have gone to soft we dont have the same testosterone such as cultures like the samurai and Spartans neither do the women have rhe leadership that those queens did to quide a king and keep him levelheaded dudes now a days dont stand for nuin besides the jordans and farragamo belt around their waste I dont blame men or women I blame the society we live in both genders are deeply confused in trying to find their positions as men and women I like a quote sister souljah said To be a real man or woman, you've got to know what you believe in. You've got to understand that your actions have consequences and that they are connected to everything that you are. 1w
  •   kingj614 Everything good with you Fam?? I hope so. Love ya kid 1w
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup Shit I'm good G. Hope everything's righteous with you. @kingj614 7d

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Sierra Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup The cashier drops change 3 inches away from my hand and that vein on my left temple starts to make an appearance..quarter lands solid, nickel rattles a little but it's safe..but there goes 2 of my dimes and 6 pennies rolling off the fucking counter cause Stacy's ass wanted to be cute and make it rain on register #3..now you got 2 chocies..you can either run around chasing your change like your best friends bad ass kids. Why you hear her stupid ass saying "sorry" over and over like a rap ad lib, because putting my fucking change in my hand so I can carry on with my life is apprently not in Stacy's acumen yet. She's looking at me when I stand back up, out of breath like "sorry they didn't show me the video on this yet". OR...you can hit'em where it hurts (my personal favorite) just leave your hand out while your change falls like confetti. Stare Stacy dead in her soul and say "keep it..self checkouts gonna replace you soon. You're gonna need it more than me". #butmaybeimjustpettyandneedangermanagment #myhandwasriggtthere #whojustthrowschangeatpeople #whydshegiveme6penniesandnotanickleand1penny #theregisterdoesallthecountingforyou #ihateherparents #ihopeshenevergetspromotedtoleadcashier #imgonnastandinfrontofregister3withasignthatsays #iknowselfcheckoutsfullbutregister3aintworththebullshit #ifollowedheroninstagramjusttoblockher #ijustwantedhertoseemefirst #whyamisodamnchildish #causefuckyouthatswhy #hershirtwastobigandshewasflooding #ishouldhaveseenthesigns #whyamistillsittingintheparkinglot #dailydose #lol #like #immadasshit #funny #follow #igdaily 1w

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Lark Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup I don't know why ya'll broke up..I don't know what you want. If you're looking for a relationship I can tell you I'm not looking for commitment...but what I do have are a very particular set of skills..skills I have aquired over a very long career..skills that make me a nightmare for single women like you. If you send me your nudes now..I will not look for you..I will not pursue you...but if you don't..I will text you. I will DM and inbox you....and I will send you dick pics. * Liam Neeson voice* #whenshesaidGOODLUCKalliheardwastryharder #soonasthebiochangesthewolvescomeout #yourvaginaisneversafe #yesuglythismeansyoutoo #wedontcare #4sandup #lol #taken #dailydose #igdaily #bestoftheday #lol #like #funny 1w

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Juno Humorwith a slice of reality

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup Let me give you the short version of my recent epiphany..when you make a DECISION to Love another person, you have a higher probability of following through and finding yourself loving someone properly. What do I mean by properly? Loving properly means you respect the love you have for another person on an unconditional level. Which is what a lot of people claim to feel but will leave you high an dry if you sneeze wrong. Basing loving someone off a feeling first and not a thought out decision is fallible. Everyone loves food right? What's the question everyone asks when they ask what you want to eat? "What do you feel like eating?" Or "where do you feel like eating?". Because your response is going to be based off of your current mood. If you're feeling like tacos, you're gonna have tacos. You're feeling like burgers or a salad then you'll go an grab that. Relate that to people and you have your answer on why people who use the word love are so susceptible to leaving or cheating. Now think about when you have a craving and you have put it in your mind and decided "I'm gonna have fucking pizza today, idgaf" guess what? As soon as you get home from work the pizza man's on the line quick as a motherfucker. In making that decision you probably weighed your options to drawing that final conclusion. When you thoroughly set how you feel aside and make a decision about loving someone and if they're truly right for you, temptation won't waver you so easily and you're more likely to be firm and stick to the decision. We love things that make us feel good but feelings pass..you can FEEL like you don't wanna pay your rent but the DECISION to be an adult and handle your business trumps that feeling. So instead of feeling like you wanna move from place to place every few months..you need to make a clear choice...and love somebody like the rents due. #imout #dailydose #jewels #myPOV #comment #like #foodforthought 2w
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup Oh I know both my brother and sister are Cancers. They wear there emotions like a year long invisible scarf lol its gift and a curse but I think it's beautiful cause I apprecite how passionate you guy can be about things whether I agree or not. I fuck with it. @mahbubah85 1w
  •   mahbubah85 Lol yeah has its perks & curses!! Very passionate! And yes my siblings mess with me too @fcky0ul1ghtenup 1w
  •   mahbubah85 The curses is that we don't hide our feelings when sometimes I think we should... @fcky0ul1ghtenup 1w
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup Sometimes it can be beneficial to conceal how you feel. People get mad at me often cause I have control. SOOOOMETIMES lol I can be a loose cannon..that's another Capricorn trait is we hide how we feel alot. It's the loner in us. We just rather deal with things on our own terms. @mahbubah85 1w
  •   mahbubah85 Ahh yea that's the control that makes me call my trait a curse! When I regret saying how I feel and the other controls it... My dilemma was always with virgos. Always playing hard to get control their feelings...just like my sister. They never or rarely text first wait for the other to text annoying 1w
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup Don't you hate people who can hold out?? Haha I'm one of them but I had to train myself how to stop being so nonchalant towards people. It's hurtful. So I worked on being better at reciprocating. I just bug my brother and sister when I wanna talk or something I've adjusted to the fact I gotta make the first move mostly. It's all good. 1w
  •   mahbubah85 Yes! Hate it!! Frustrating! Yes, making first move will help open up cancers. Problem is once u get a cancers trust & heart, it's very difficult for them to hold back any feelings or end it when ur mind knows it's the best thing to do! @fcky0ul1ghtenup 1w
  •   mahbubah85 I second that...not always:) ended in the past @fcky0ul1ghtenup 1w

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Lo-fi Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup Moral of the story..it's just not worth it. Fighting when we could be loving. You know how much time we waste verbally slicing each other's heads off? I myself have taken the lesson to heart cause I'am a talker but sometimes...you gotta break free..say fuck your pride, let them be right. Fuck it even if they're wrong and it's not that serious, let'em have it. Time is valuable. You know how much fucking we could be doin? And you wanna curse me out cause I didn't wanna come to your "ex best friend but now ya'll friends again but will hate each other next month's friends birthday dinner"..c'mon ma..you care about as little as I do. Just let shit go..24 hours in a day. Let's spend as many of them enjoying one another as we can. #pardonmyinterruption #butfightingisoverrated #contrarytopopularbelief #hithemwiththeareyoudone ? #juststartdancingmidargument #laughandthensettleitcalmy #everyfightdoesntneedtobeon10 #relaxboo #haveasnickers #dailydose #relationshipadvice #takeitmyG #like #thisgoesformenandwoman 3w

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fcky0ul1ghtenup Its July 4th..Here I'am..just a man out here tryna enjoy some funnel cake. It's been awhile since I broke up with my girl that I'm at the stage where I barely even think about her. You know..when that last stubborn macaroni noodle is coming out the pot..strolling..pimp walk stupid strong. I'm Smiling, waving to people I dont like, like I'm center float at the Puerto Rican day parade. My niggas wit me..couple cool chick's and as far as you know it's strictly platonic. The suns coming down, the bright lights wash over my free minded happy soul. Almost time for the fire works. "I'ma grab a ice cream cone"..I grab the ice cream. The smell of evil pinches my nostrils..this energy..their power level keeps rising..my raybands are about to crack..I take them off to better see this demon on earth..first fire work hits the sky. BOW! it's closer..my hearts frantic..BOW! BOW!..I take a sharp look to my left and there she stands..lucifiers offspring. This lightskinded(not a typo) she devil who snatched my soul from me.."don't be with another nigga, don't be with another nigga"..BAM..some black ass Wesley Snipes looking motherfucker rolls up. My ice cream hits the pavement..I'm frozen..sweating my ass off..why tf did I wear a light sweater tryna be cute..damn these timbs heavy as shit..she glances over at me and we lock eyes..I can feel her draining what little bit of soul she left me with. My potassium level is dropping..iron deficiency is next, I gotta fight back..come nigga..you need a spirit bomb right now. I gather all the energy from every real nigga in my facinity..my chest grows, my waves start glowing as 2 of the girls come over to get me one on each side..almost there..92%..c'mon..our eyes still locked. I reach 100%. My fuck a bitch meter is full. Final move. Her mouth slightly opens as she watches the girls tug on me. I give this bitch the illest evil smirk in cinematic history, a fresh prince wink and I victory stroll off with 2 bitches on my side to enjoy the rest of the festivities..my nigga if that doesn't represent the freedom we fought for I don't know what does..#IndependenceDay #icouldntlethertakemysoul #ialmostdiedthatnight #FREEEEDOOMM *MEL GIBSON VOICE* 3w

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Video Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup Let's start this Wednesday off right! #humpday #dailydose #whoaintgotnogagreflexes *Welvin voice* #funny #early ----> 3mon

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup I know freedom of speech is becoming a thing of the past. But I'll continue to exercise my right to talk my shit until the end. Whether it be on social plateform, face2face, on the phone, in the streets..doesnt matter. How can we ever tell people to be you and be strong. If everytime your version of you doesn't fit in with whats popular? I welcome opinions opposite of mine. We can all agree to disagree. Im not an egotistical man. I dont hate anyone. I never delete someones comments opposite of mine no matter what. You never know what another opinion can bring to the table. We all see things differently. But just because a person doesn't conform doesn't mean he or she should be silenced. That's completely unproductive for forward movement. #Wearepeoplenotdrones #dailydose #TelltheIGstaffiminTexas #emailmeformyadress #wecandoitonMay2nd #lol #getthesehandsearlybeforetheBigfight #MarkSuckerburgaintboutthatlife #uppercuthimouthisflipflops #stopsilencingpeople #ididntviolateshit #fuckIG #idgt 3mon
  •   traple11 You didn't say a damn thing that was offensive. Bruce Jenner is not a HERO for coming out. Bruh. If he's a hero then we got shit loads of heros here on my island. In a place that's over 95% Catholic, the LGBT community get put thru some bullshit. There are so many people in this world that go thru life not being true to themselves for fear of being ridiculed or worse. Calling him a hero...wow. Did his coming out suddenly make it acceptable? He didn't change shit. #letmeknowwhenmeganfoxsayshegay #thenwecantalk 3mon
  •   djonez718 Yooooo I was just looking for the original post and i said to myself "IG GOT EMMMM!" Lol. Keep talking shit tho. Some clowns probably fagged it, oops, I mean flagged it. 3mon
  •   pinkinfernoss very nice 3mon
  •   jay_elder415 Where u been? IG need a real 1 like ya self 3mon
  •   fcky0ul1ghtenup @jay_elder415 I keep saying I'm gonna stay consistent lol 3mon
  •   jay_elder415 Fasho mane! 3mon
  •   mikhailachristian Omg right ?! They can't bring us down ! 4w

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup So whatchall niggas get for christmas? If you got something good DM me so I know who to rob :p #comment #like #fwm #idgt #dailydose #christmas #PRESENTS 7mon

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup Life's all about ups and downs. So when you're up appreciate it with every fiber of your being. Cause when you're down..it's alot of bobbing and weaving. Keep your counter up and your feet sharp..being elusive with bullshit is a trained skill. #Honeyourskills #lovelife #beupandwin #bedownandfight #theshoreisntfar #dailydose #idgt #actaccordingly #lesrnlife #jewels 7mon

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Normal Humorwith a slice of reality
fcky0ul1ghtenup @catdagreat do I give a fuck if it's wedsneday?? FUCK NO. Fuck a #wcw @catdagreat got me feeling some type of way. #EARLY #damndamndamn #idgt #dailydose #fwm #tazsangels #CATbombaf #100 7mon

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