englexas this is my 32 week update from my sick bed...this week I've had on and off fevers and a cough that just won't go away, being pregnant and sick is officially the worst thing ever! My wonderful husband let me sleep in today after another night of coughing all night long so I felt a little more rested but it's all been pretty exhausting...at least I had my little man to keep me company today while the others were in school. I'm just praying that this doesn't last too much longer! 1d
  •   sjordway I'm so sorry!! I have some sort of virus right now and I've officially laid in bed all day. I hope you feel better soon in Jesus' name! 1d
  •   lalabubaby Congrats on your baby! 1d
  •   jodyehefner Yes! Prego and coughing and sickness is horrid! I feel your pain sister! Jesus please heal Debbie!! 1d
  •   jodygray Oh no!!! So sorry!!!! That's the worst :( adorable pic, by the way 22h

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englexas we finally got seeds for our garden planted...couldn't have done it without my little helper! I'm not sure how our garden will turn out this year, the odds are against us with a fungus last year and a new baby arriving right at the beginning of the summer but we love having fresh vegetables so we're gonna give it our best shot! 4d

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englexas I love when I find these "in between" moments taken by the other kids on my phone...I've got to say that being a tomboy when I was little, doing hair didn't really play a huge role in my life but recently my girl has been really interested in having ponytails and braids and lots of other kinds of hairstyles and rather than dismiss her (which I had been doing for too long) my hubby encouraged me to get her ready a little early so that I can spend some extra time on her hair. I'm hoping these are the moments she'll remember...and I'm totally gonna have my hands full with TWO little girls to fix up! Oh boy! 🏻 1w

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Normal Gabriel and Debbie Mayes
englexas I can't believe that I'm #30weeks pregnant already...this pregnancy has absolutely flown by and I'm super happy about that! We haven't gotten a nursery together or even a name yet but I guess that's 5th baby problems for ya...she's pretty much gonna be going with the flow! This past week I've had quite a few Braxton Hicks and the typical heartburn and back pain are showing themselves...nothing too out of the ordinary though. We're so excited to meet our little girl! 2w

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englexas two weekends without daddy and this preggo mama is OVER it...I took this pic to document that we were dressed and at church on time this morning but it seems that we're still working on some cooperation! 3w
  •   thecadders The struggle is real 3w
  •   jodygray Ha ha. Way to go mom. Being without dad is manageable and we can do it.... But not ideal and waaaaay better when they're home. I FEEL YA. 3w
  •   jodyehefner Yes! Daddy's bring a strong hand of discipline don't they? I had a thought this morning that I was glad for you that he's home with family again! 3w

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englexas it's #fridayintroductions time again! I thought it would be a great opportunity for me to tell all of you new followers a little bit about myself! Here are some random facts:

I am finally figuring out how to style my hair short after my terrible haircut episode a few weeks back...I'm still not super happy with it but it's getting a little better // my eyebrows are completely different and it bothers me! One time I heard a quote that said "eyebrows are not twins, they are sisters" and I felt slightly better about my situation...although my brows are more like half-sisters! // I grew up in England and have lived in the states for 15 years, 2 more years and I will have lived in the states the same amount of time that I lived in England...that is SO weird to me...time is a crazy thing and yes, I miss England and my family often // I have loved chocolate as long as I can remember and I eat some form of it everyday...but I HATE Hershey's and no matter how much I'm craving chocolate I refuse to eat it, even if it was the last chocolate on earth!

I would LOVE to hear a random fact about you! One of my favorite things about IG is getting to connect with others!
3w
  •   mamaklaudia Hiii! I think your eyebrows are on point! I ised to have thicker eyebrows and I got a bad wax job one day and haven't been able to grow them out probably since :/ I'm not a big chocolate fan I'm definitely a candy girl though, gummy bears, sour worms, skittles and now and laters!! Random fact: I live in Guatemala but grew up in the states 16 years. I'm always missing it 3w
  •   alparker2 Your hair looks great! Also you're eyebrows look fabulous! I've totally heard the "you're eyebrows are sisters not twins" saying before too! Random fact I do have a twin and our eyebrows totally look different lol! 3w
  •   syd_the_spaz_ You so pretty, gurl your eyebrows are way better than mine random fact: I don't like Hershey's either, only their special dark chocolate 3w
  •   jodyehefner I just have to say that Simeon and I were looking through my feed and saw your picture. I said, say Debbie and he said "Bebbie" ... So cute! Simeon said your name!!! 3w

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englexas the older I get and the more people I meet, the more I realize that nobody has it easy...there will always be some kind of struggle in our lives. It can be so easy to look at someone else and think that the grass is greener but I'm sure that if you got to know them it wouldn't take you long to find the difficulty and pain in their life. We are all going through something and we can choose to support one another and be stronger through it, together.

//You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud. Do not complain. Make every effort to change things you do not like. If you cannot make a change, change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution - Maya Angelou
3w
  •   racheljanini Love this- couldn't agree more. Cole's Mom frequently says "if your treat everyone you meet as if they have a broken heart, you'll be right the majority of the time." 3w
  •   alparker2 🏻 Yes! Love this whole post!!! Especially this! 🏻️ My mom always said you can't judge a book by its cover. We try to hide our hurt, pain, brokenness when really the truth is we all have something that we are struggling with! 3w
  •   englexas @duchessandlionco thanks so much friend, you are too! It's amazing how much we need one another! 3w
  •   englexas @racheljanini ooooh I love that quote! 3w

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Clarendon Gabriel and Debbie Mayes
englexas daddy has been away for 3 days now and it's taking a toll on all of us, we miss him terribly!
It's not just because he takes the time to sit with our kids to comfort and to teach them, or because he had a delivery of flowers fill our home with life yesterday, or even because he's always always working to be a better man...he's just a part of us and it's not the same without him...tomorrow can't come quick enough!
4w

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Normal Gabriel and Debbie Mayes
englexas When we first found out I was pregnant with our fourth baby, it was a total surprise. But from the beginning of that pregnancy I always thought that he would be born on April 1st, even though it was 3 days after his due date and I'd never gone that long.
With three healthy pregnancies and babies under my belt I'd never had any difficulty getting pregnant and not even a hint of complications so loss was something that never even entered my mind, pregnancy and birth was one of the few things in life that came easy for us. So when 12 weeks later our baby had no heartbeat to be found, our world stood still. I carried his lifeless body for another 4 weeks, waiting for my body to actually let go of our child that I already had plans and a name for.
For a long while, I wondered if me thinking he'd be born on April 1st was a cruel April Fool joke that God was playing on me. It was just another one of those stings of death that followed me for a while. There's no way of knowing why our little ones heart stopped beating or what I could have done differently but we have found peace with the few things we do know...his name and the day he would've been born. Sure, people will say that we don't "know" these things for sure but I choose to believe that God gave us these little pieces of information so that in a situation where it felt like all our knowing was completely stripped away, we could know and hold on to something.
If you are going through your own loss, don't be afraid to "know" what you think and feel. Don't be afraid to give genders and names and dates and an image to your little one. Our feather tattoos and necklace are physical reminders of what is most definitely is and always will be in our hearts.

So today as I'm feeding and caring for my 3 kiddos earthside and feeling his little rainbow baby sister kick and punch around in my belly, I'm thinking of the one year old little boy who should be blowing out candles and eating cake with his hands...the boy who one day we'll see again and smother him with kisses because a lifetime is too long to wait to see your little one.
4w

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englexas when you're on vacation you pretty much have no choice but to eat donuts for breakfast! #firecakesdonuts didn't disappoint...you have to try the espresso cream donut, totally mind blowing! 1mon

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englexas in the city for a little family babymoon/staycation...took the kids to spend the day at the museum and tonight we're taking them to dine at @blackbirdchicago to let them experience delicious food and teach them proper manners. 1mon

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englexas overwhelmed with the love and support we received on our last post...it never ceases to amaze me how this little online community provides us with a way to connect and share our stories. Always know that there is nothing new under the sun and there is always someone that has been through what you are going through, it's just a matter of finding one another and supporting one another through it! #englexasmiscarriagejourney #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby 1mon

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englexas One thing that will never not be weird about miscarriage is when I first meet people and they ask me how many kids I have. I had the opportunity to meet a bunch of people a couple weeks ago at a conference I attended and in the beginning when people would ask how many kids I had, my response would be 5...their follow up question was usually "how old are they?" and that's where I struggled. My response was "8, 5, 3 and we lost a baby before we got pregnant with this one" this was always followed with sympathy but then major awkwardness because I just plunged these complete strangers into one of the most fragile parts of my life. It's not that I don't want to talk about it, I actually find great joy in sharing the story of our loss and how God walked with us through the pain. It's the uncomfortableness on their side that I struggle with. I don't want to make them feel bad or that they need to respond in any specific way but if they haven't experienced miscarriage themselves, usually they don't know where to go from there. I struggled for the rest of the trip to tell strangers that we had 4 children because each time I said that I felt like I was not giving Gideon the recognition he deserved as such a pivotal part of our life. He did exist, he is our child and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about what life would be like with him still here. Just know the next time you meet someone and they mention their lost child, don't feel uncomfortable. They probably feel just as uncomfortable navigating the conversation and sometimes recognition of that fact is all that it takes. #englexasmiscarriagejourney #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby 1mon

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1mon englexas
Normal Gabriel and Debbie Mayes
englexas windows open, spring breeze blowing and the no-napper cannot resist! 😴 1mon

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englexas today I am 26 weeks pregnant...everything is still going super smoothly apart from the lack of sleep! I had a friend have her baby at 26 weeks a few months ago so being at this stage and knowing that if I went into labor our baby could survive is very surreal for me! I've told our little one to keep cooking for a while though!
We thought we landed on a name but my hubby is second-guessing it a little because a few people have mistaken it for another, more common name...it's a good thing we have lots more weeks to figure this name thing out!
2mon
  •   sjordway You look beautiful 2mon
  •   alparker2 Stunning! 2mon
  •   islandfairy Ah the eternal quest for the perfect name! Good luck! 1mon
  •   nastasja_darling I know the feeling ️ All the best to you and your baby bump 1mon

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englexas traveling is always fun but this crew will always have my heart! 2mon

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englexas spent the last couple of days at #wppi2016 hanging out with my girl @jodygray...absolutely loved being immersed in this culture of photographers and met some wonderful people that I'm excited to continue get to know! Now it's time to go love on my kids! 2mon

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englexas thank you so much for your sweet comments on my last post...I'm getting used to my new hair and figuring out the right way to style it.

the sun is going down later now (and it's not freezing!) so I was actually able to have my 8 year take a decent pic outside after school today...ha!
This week marked 6 months of pregnancy...our little girl is growing well and there have been no issues during this second trimester 🏻 Her kicks are getting stronger now and the kids are LOVING watching her dance around in my belly, experiencing their excitement during this pregnancy has been my favorite thing! #pregnancyafterloss #rainbowbaby
2mon

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englexas bad haircuts happen to good people //
instead of hiding my face from you for the next 6 months I thought I'd just come out and say it...I've been debating on getting my hair cut for months and finally decided the take the plunge. Armed with a few pictures of exactly what I wanted I headed to my appointment yesterday where I was assured that the stylist new exactly what I was wanting...the cool new asymmetrical long messy bob that's totally "in" right now. Not only did she cut an extra couple inches off than the 5 inches I was already willing to give but I also specifically said that I wanted the front longer than the back and not to cut where my layers in the front already were....she completely ignored me and when she turned the chair around (my first clue should've been that she turned me away from the mirror the whole time) I literally wanted to cry! "it'll grow back" is my new mantra and I just wanted to let you all know that it's not all "look at my new perfect coolest ever haircut" over here 🙄 nice try Debbie, nice try.
2mon
  •   nicklepickle Oh suck!!!! It's ok hair does grow back. Next time just come see me 3w
  •   englexas @nicklepickle I wish!! 3w
  •   tashley__g "Bad haircuts happen to good people" amen!! The EXACT same thing happened to me two months ago. Glad to know I'm not the only one who has experienced this devastation!! Haha 3w

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englexas we are absolutely LOVING this mild winter! I can hardly believe that it's February, this has definitely been our easiest winter since we moved to Illinois. Our windows are open with not even a glimpse of snow...the kids just love sitting by the windows and feeling the breeze and I'm just trying to soak it in instead of wondering how much longer this will last! 2mon

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