deactivatedfatgirl Have you ever had to sleep on someone’s couch? And I’m not talking about you being there b/c sleeping with your friend in the next room is too weird or you were too drunk to make it to your bed. I’m talking about you not having a job, no income, no place to live and so you HAVE to put a dent in someone’s couch until you can get on your feet.

Have any of you ever slept in your car? I’m not talking about sleeping as you wait for someone you went to pick up, or sleep b/c you’re trying to catch a nap during your break while at work. I’m talking about not having a bed or home to walk yourself into so that you have an actual ROOF over your head without everything you own being in the backseat of a vehicle.

I’ve done all these things. All of them. And the minute I find myself ready to complain, I think about all those times when my belly growled but pride wouldn’t allow me to ask someone to get me something to eat…how I had to sleep on someone’s couch b/c I was trying to find a job and my car broke down, thus making it a little harder to find a decent job…how I had to sleep in my car with all the clothes that I own and had to heat up water in a bottle so that I could TRY to iron my clothes to look presentable for work. I did ALL of this and many times, folks didn’t even know. I managed to go about life like none of this was happening to me b/c for me, it was better than being embarrassed by my circumstances.

So before you go to complain about the job you can’t stand, the food you wish was better, or the roof over your head, remember where you COULD be and show a little freakin’ gratitude.

Signed,

Someone who’s ridiculously tired of seeing you guys complain ALL the time
3d
  •   eddie_holliwood I have to remind myself of this as well.. 3d
  •   gee.uh @2cooldudesmama that still doesn't give folks a right to complain. You don't have to go through the same struggles as listed, but a struggle is a struggle. And no matter what, if you've made it OVER that, give thanks. Period. 3d
  •   tshanda26 @gee.uh Thank you! 3d
  •   myss.kym You preaching this morning! 3d
  •   myss.kym But yes I have been without so I understand the struggle. Very grateful for what I have now. @deactivatedfatgirl 3d
  •   2cooldudesmama @gee.uh I'll just respectfully agree to disagree with you. 3d
  •   deactivatedfatgirl You're being obtuse for absolutely no reason. Don't pollute the message, sis. I'm aware that everyone's experiences aren't the same but keep the "well actually" frame of mind. @2cooldudesmama 3d
  •   wellnessandtattoos Always putting life into proper perspective 10h

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deactivatedfatgirl ...amazing how folks'll use God to appeal to your emotions. Forgive, yes. But you can remain at the exit. 5d

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deactivatedfatgirl Are you following @fauxfro? No? You probably should. Have a great remainder of your week, my friends! 6d

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deactivatedfatgirl 1 of 3 racks for @fauxfro. Being a one woman show is gonna become a "no" quick. Definitely gonna get an assistant this year! Oh and FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT A CHANCE TO WIN A FREE WEBSITE DESIGN, peep @andshecodes2. She's having an amazing contest going on and can get you started on what you said you wanna do! Go for it!! 1w
  •   krtrabue I would love to but but I've never, and I do mean never, purchased or worn weave. I don't have the slightest idea where to begin.... 1w
  •   krtrabue *love to buy 1w
  •   la_prima_donna_ Yaaaaaaassssssssss!!!!!!! 1w
  •   kidd4s I'm about to apply for the assistant job. 1w
  •   lydianna2804 @fatfacebella lol I know that's right. 1w
  •   complexsimplicity90 details on assistant application?? (lemme go look first before i get in trouble tho lol) 6d
  •   deactivatedfatgirl @complexsimplicity90 @kidd4s im definitely going to post about it heavily when I'm ready to bring someone on. I can say off rip that whoever it is, they'd need to be local to Atlanta, extremely organized, super proficient in excel, google calendar, all that. They'd basically have to be everything Im not 6d
  •   complexsimplicity90 born and raised. whenever you're ready. @tyanainwonderland she's gonna be looking for an assistant soon. heads up 6d

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deactivatedfatgirl No matter your personal feelings about Diddy, you gotta respect his business sense. What he said is a big part of the reason I've closed off everything and decided to really put my time and effort into working toward securing my future and getting ish done. No more talking. Just do it and then speak. In 2013, I came up with the idea of building a community that was centered around several things that I liked. Because this idea involved things that were a little out of my comfort zone, I sat on the idea and only made a handful of people privy to it. In spite of people telling me it's a great idea, I was scared to give it a try. Too scared of what "they" would say. So I continued sitting and stewing in silence & instead, I relaunched a portion of @killpink that I said a LONG time ago that I was done with. I restarted all this DFG business, KNOWING that neither was where I wanted to be. Everything I did was 100% rooted in either what folks said I'd be good at OR by request (oh, please relaunch your bracelets! Jia, can we have another fitness challenge?). When I realized that none of this stuff solidified my future, I was like nah Bruh. Something has to give. Then I read that "13 reasons why you aren't successful" and felt convicted. So I made the decision that at SOME point before January was gone, Id stop everything and focus on what I was scared of from 2013. On 12/31/14 @ 11:59p, @fauxfro was launched. I was nervous & hesitant, but I knew that those feelings meant I at least had to try. No more talking about what I HOPED to do/have; 2015 is the year to get sh*t done. I hope you guys are following suit & working on anything that'll get YOU further in life. Forget other people's opinions and time clock. 2015 is the year of you. Nothing wrong with being "me" focused. Sometimes it's necessary to simply GO and take risks. It's way better to FLOP with a try than to flop because you didn't. #startfromwhereyouare 1w

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deactivatedfatgirl When it comes to business, some of you need managers, training, something. I'm legit fed up and only became more annoyed after speaking with a designer last night who really broke things down for me. The link in my bio explains ALL, including a "who." Watch who you give your business to and let my loss be a gain for you so that you know to choose better in the future. At this point, it's a loss and is what it is. Still doesn't mean I can't vent. And as the link says, I do NOT care if that's your friend, cousin, someone YOU worked with in the past. YOUR experience ain't MINE, so I couldn't care less about what you feel about MY experience. Thanks. 1w
  •   fabfreshandfly Dammit man. I had a similar experience with someone I tried to get online training through. Paid my money, took them forever to follow up, never got a meal plan, or any workouts. I remained calm throughout and eventually got my money, but I couldn't get the time back that I spent. Hate that it happened to you, but they'll get what's coming to them. They will reap what they sow. 1w
  •   miz_caramel_vixen Listen! Had to deal with this myself recently & concluded not all money is good money...it's not worth the hassle. Your 'tude will cause ppl not to work with you no matter how great of a product is. A past client had boundary issues calling 10/11 @night to discuss biz would send passive aggressive texts bc I wouldn't answer. After the 2nd time, promptly refunded and removed all materials from the site. It ain't worth it. I will support black biz but I draw a line. Sorry for the rant. 1w
  •   miz_caramel_vixen You won't hit me with I don't appreciate you not answering my calls but you can tweet I don't think I should do biz w/someone like you. Oh ok...KEWL! 1w
  •   cocomadeit @pixelvida_media read! xox 1w
  •   jahrmana9 Amen 1w
  •   angeladezigns Most of the times problems comes from money hungry thirsty people, who see a opportunity to get over. Trust me I have made many many mistakes as a entrepreneur. Most have came from trying to please Everyone! Usually when a client comes in complaining about this and that and not to mention looking for a deal! He or she will be a problem in the future. Allot of good successful business promote sales and deals to keep their customers shopping with them. I have a passion for the Art of Hair! I am one of the very few hairstylist that can service All types of hair! I do not promote products and services that I know will destroy your hair! Such as lace wigs, braids etc. I have clients who have sit in my chair with damaged hair, and now have healthy hair. Weave and natural hair is not for everyone! I believe these two words have made allot of woman lazy when it comes to their hair care. I offer weave and natural hair service as well. However I will also consult with my client about their day to day life style before I sell them a service just to make a dollar. It's called PASSION. I love what I do and I do it Very Well adsalon.net #atlantahairstylist #nashvillehairstylist 1w

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deactivatedfatgirl Absolutely love this. My new favorite thing to say to myself (literally over and over again) is start from where you are. I can't speak for ALL but MY experience is that I've always loved a lot of things and couldn't be consistent BC I'd always spread myself so thin by doing it ALL. At the same time. It's tough. But at some point, you have to be honest with yourself, hone in things you love, and figure out how to use it to get you where you want/need to be. We always let fear, what "they" might say, a lack of money, and all other types of crap stop us from simply going. It doesn't take a big production to get things done. Starting from where you are doesn't mean that you're a slacker. It simply means that you've humbled yourself enough to know that you won't come out the gate being perfect, you stopped expecting yourself to be, and you're OPEN to learning along the way. Start from where you are and GO! 1w

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deactivatedfatgirl By @gee.uh: After reading Marc Eckō's book, Unlabel, I've been thinking about ways to simplify my life, including social media. I've been thinking of ALL the ideas I've had over the years and how each of them stemmed from the moment. A lot of the things I created was because of what other people pushed me towards. Were they wrong? No. But I was absolutely out of line for assuming the responsibility of other people's expectations just because what THEY chose for me seemed like a great fit. It's absolutely trill when they say (and I have no idea who "they" are) that you have to find a way to blend the things you love and/or pay the most attention to, add your own creativity, and somewhere in between, you may be lucky enough to find what's really meant for you. Your own personal space. In my research, I've also learned to keep something for myself. Everybody doesn't have to know your "later" right away. It's alright to save a little bit for a gut punch at a later date. And once I really sat down and asked myself "what are you doing," I found a way to make everything I love land in one hub. No need for a million social medias. No need for a million (and one) dot coms. Look at yourself and the things you enjoy most and build your own personal brand around that. Also, don't be afraid of the word passion. When explained to me, I always fought against it bc it's like the world was telling me to choose ONE thing and OD on it. I thought I was crazy for enjoying so much and not being able to choose. It's hard being consistent when you THINK you HAVE to do it all (what "they" want + what YOU want). Anyway, start from where you are, folks. Even if it seems impossible, scary, or a hot mess to those you disclose to, don't spend another day in a moment of "I never tried." 1w

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deactivatedfatgirl Can't please everybody. Some people are just stuck on being unhappy and all of the advice you're offering, the words of wisdom, the encouragement...better suited for someone else. Those stuck on misery always meet your attempts with a "well, actually..." or tons of excuses why they simply "can't." And it's never really that they truly can't; they're just afraid of what's on the other side of lazy or complacent. They don't want to try. They find comfort in being miserable because there's way less responsibility in that space. You can't want "better" for people who don't want the same for themselves. It's alright to change the aura in your circle. Remember, your OWN happiness is paramount. Don't let others who make the CHOICE to STAY miserable ruin life for you. Their choices to employ misery doesn't have to be on your payroll. 2w
  •   easindapayne This is right on time!!!! I just had to read a friend her rights yesterday because she's one of the purposefully miserable. Someone else in a relationship but her? Miserable. Someone else getting married but her? Depressed and crying. Having a birthday? Depressed & bitter. No matter what kinda words you offer, it's never enough or, like u said, "well, actually..." Or something else. This was right on time. 2w
  •   stealthfit Love this - they choose to employ misery but it doesn't have to be on your payroll - My new motto. #wisdom 2w
  •   deactivatedfatgirl @easindapayne read ha down! 2w
  •   candigal88 It's learned helplessness or depression sometimes. When despair is all you know it becomes comfortable. 2w
  •   neena_monai @jourdans_mommy exactly what we needed 2w
  •   jourdans_mommy Yes lord!!!! Definitely needed that @neena_monai 2w
  •   hevinci Ehy @deactivatedfatgirl, try @tweegram App for iPhone and Android! The new update is awesome! 1w

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deactivatedfatgirl depression, summarized. 2w

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deactivatedfatgirl please. 2w

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deactivatedfatgirl Quite obsessed with natural styling these days. Although I've been natural for 10 years now, I didn't get enough confidence to wear BIG hair until almost 2 years ago. @ladyw87 (UH huh, that one from Youtube ) looks amazing in her @fauxfro hair. Gotta style copy soon! Hope you guys are good on this side. 2w

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deactivatedfatgirl In "lust" with this @fauxfro texture (to the right! And don't judge me using a chip clip to hold it together ). To the left is 1/4 of my hair that I gathered into a ponytail during wash day for a quick texture shot. A friend of mine and I are committing to no heat for 2015! Ever since I got that heat damage and had to cut off almost 5 inches from my leave out (initially cutting like 2'ish), I've been a lil funny about heat anyway. I'm going to let my real hair breathe a bit and then have a wig made with this hair. Perfect match!! How many of you ladies just say NO to heat? What's your favorite heatless style to protect your tresses? 4w
  •   soulrayn @deactivatedfatgirl home made deep conditioner and several braids to air dry 4w
  •   sugaraespeaks Awesome! Your hair is gorgeous!!! 4w
  •   charlie_cat16 I just use a braid with a sew in and closure piece ! TEAM NO HEAT 4w
  •   mrseaster74 Bantu knots on stretched hair 4w
  •   yaay_me Crotchet braids 4w
  •   msoutrageousity Faux locs 2w
  •   uniquesongstress @deactivatedfatgirl Can I make your wig? 7d
  •   caprice_classic80 OMG you're curl pattern is everything! I used heat 3 times last year and lost what curl I did have after the 3rd time. So now I'm almost 3 months in back to no heat at all. Flat twists and buns are my go to styles. Definitely been thinking about a sew-in, no leave out or braids but I've never had braids so idk how they'd look on me. People have been warning me not to do braids if I want my edges 😕 1d

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deactivatedfatgirl top: creating the vision bottom: why (I won't be going out tonight. Rare that I ever feel like it, so NYE won't be the exception. Instead, I'll be listening to Bishop Jakes, having this moscato [because I like it and it was on sale. no, I still don't do any hard liquor], and creating a vision board that not only fits where I am and how I feel right now but where I want to go. I want to be healthy. I want to travel. I want to be comfortable in my pursuits of being an entrepreneur. I wanna be a better friend. I want to be a better sister and daughter. I wanna drop the word "struggle" from in front of the word Christian [and Lawd knows that's hard, broham]. I may be somewhere between saved and ratchet, but I'm def not 100% where I once was. Still have a lot of learning to do. Still have a lot of growing [up] to do. The last two years have been one for the books. But this is the first year that I've ever felt as though I'm ready for the new year man. No drama. No BS. No excuses. I'm ready! I hope you all enjoy your NYE! If you're out, please don't be a super deluxe tampon and drive while drinking. Even if you don't care about your own life, consider the lives of other people. Love you all and thanks for rocking with me this year!) 4w

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deactivatedfatgirl Time for all the "new year, new me" memes and quotes all over social media. But when the end of the year comes, how many of us can TRUTHFULLY look back on the year and say "wow! I really did check a lot of stuff off my to-do list?" Not many. I've spent the last two years absolutely chillin. I got comfortable and caught up in frustrations. I always had a "they" excuse for everything when the truth is it was just me. A couple weeks ago, I read this meme called "13 reasons why you're not as successful as you should be" (GOOGLE IT or scroll down). Initially, I scrolled on by it bc I felt it probably was none of my business. When it showed up a 2nd time on my FB feed, I read it...and for the first time in my LIFE, I felt "read." See, I've always been the girl who had a comeback for anything you say to me. Always on my toes. But when I read that, I had nothing but "dang. You're right." Almost immediately after, I picked back up on something I had started close to 2 years ago and in 2 weeks, got more done than what was on ANY of my lists (several, starting 2 years ago). I'm not saying that I'm going to be some multi-millionaire by '15's end. What I am saying is in TWO WEEKS, I learned the true definition of "start from where you are." We oftentimes feel that we have to come out the gate running full speed but forget about that crawl in between. My "entitlement" made me feel I had a right to run; my humility made me fall to my knees. With that said, folks, start from where you are. Right here. Right now. Making changes later on allows you to chart your growth. If you're perfect off rip, what are you measuring exactly? Good luck to you and may God's blessings (your God or the universe, whatever) guide you along the way. 1mon

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