bonjourmoon i texted my husband these words this afternoon, and well, i guess i'll just copy it here because man it's the truth and i've worked really hard to be at this place of being: i just want to spend my life always talking about the importance of being kind and listening to his little stories about whales while also assuring him there are not any monsters in the closet and making our baby girl smile by dangling roses above her face and hanging laundry through the window because there's sunshine outside of it and wearing cotton dresses with spit up down the back and front even if i don't leave our house and waiting for you to get home knowing that when you're not here, you're the only thing that's ever missing. // i also posted some little glimpses of our days on my blog today 7d

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bonjourmoon i opened my mailbox and found a package with the words sweetly written "do not bend" twice on the outside. from canada. i opened it up quietly in the driveway, by myself, under a cypress tree and began crying just before it started to rain. a friend whom i've never met, have never shared a hug with (yet), have never clinked my champagne glass with, turned my words into art, "for the love of god let us just breathe." embroidered lungs overflowing with blooms. i quickly placed it above the changing table, where fiorella lays mesmerized by the colors, the flowers, the art. she also sent lollipops and vintage floral paper and we are spending the morning surrounded in it all. @andrea.mclaren you are our light. 1w

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bonjourmoon where your mother wrote. where she would have her coffee and tea. where she put the first red camellia of the season she clipped outside a record store. where she lined up her used pink and gray harney & sons tea tins or rose lemonade bottles and filled them with flowers. where she would go to on sunny days to let in the light. where she would look out with a lot of joy with hopes of seeing your father driving up. where she would call your brother in for lunch and tell him to drop his rocks before coming inside. where she would clip the sally holmes roses that would grow like weeds onto the panes just by peering through. where she would sit with you, on sunny days and gloomy ones, just like two best friends who happen to have shared the same body once. 1w
  •   bonjourmoon @cascompton like minds mama, like minds. From UO? Xx 7d
  •   bonjourmoon @cayliebarnett that is so beautiful and I can't wait to go find the photo. Thank you for telling me 7d
  •   organicnurse @bonjourmoon yes, I know it well! We are considering moving somewhere between Fairfax, Guernville and Petaluma. Your photos are convincing me ;-) 7d
  •   dollypinkbow I love your feed - I send it to my one and only and he enjoys reading it with me. Thank You for sharing with us ~ 6d
  •   bonjourmoon Thank you so much my love. So so so kind of you to take the time to say that. @dollypinkbow 6d
  •   bonjourmoon @organicnurse oh I love Petaluma! We were just there the other day! Ahhh! Email me if you need any help Xxo 6d
  •   lilacwildflowers You're an artist and your words make me weep 5d
  •   bonjourmoon @lilacwildflowers you are the kindest my dear one. Just the kindest 5d

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bonjourmoon with one baby on my hip and another making a thousand messes at my feet, i made my husband his annual birthday cake with a lot of joy just thinking about him. since i see names and letters in color, 'steve' has always been the color of a deep forest, so i decorated with sprigs of thyme. oh i can't wait until he gets home! 1w
  •   shellsinherhair Thank you @bonjourmoon I love looking at your photographs and lovely words every day6d
  •   mycrimsoncloset @bonjourmoon which colours do you see for your own sweet babies? X 6d
  •   cozystiches19 Just saw the sweet cake you made and read the caption and started wondering what you meant by seeing colors in names , I've never knew about this ,so I goggled it and a lot of info and web sites came out ,but I find it so fascinating having a lovely gift like this ............I know my name is a basic name but I do really have a long name because my mom thought I was going to be a boy ,but I was wondering what colors you see in my name (Abigail De Jesus ) I know you get so many comments very day ,but i understand if your busy ,having two baby's is a lot of work sending good vibes your way (=^・ェ・^=) 4d
  •   kosilapcitoys Amazing ! 3d
  •   magpochomestead That is simply gorgeous! 3d
  •   magpochomestead @bonjourmoon Where did you get your cake stand? :) 3d
  •   hillarycoke So pretty!! 3d
  •   namastetiff You just amaze me. I need to meet your sweet spirit in the flesh!! 16h

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bonjourmoon i made a garland out of last week's spray roses and hung them above our bed for my husband's birthday today. i wrote down all the things i love about him to match his age and read them to him at the foot of the bed with our babies in his arms. i only got to number thirteen before they started crying, but we both just had to laugh knowing that this is our life now. and what a beautiful one it is. all because he was born. i can't wait to read him #26 over his surprise dinner tonight, "the way you look searching for me in a store when we've become separated. sometimes i wander off just so you will find me." happy birthday my beautiful husband. it's a privilege to be on the other side of your love. 1w
  •   nainakids Oh my god, you are so sweet. Made me tear up. That's how I feel about my husband too. Can't live without him 1w
  •   nainakids Meant ️ not haha 1w
  •   julianxreyes @joannaxko we got this b 1w
  •   nanascucina In a world that is sometimes very harsh you always find the beautiful,what a sweet girl you are. 1w
  •   sweetly_inspired Oh my goodness! How unbelievably sweet you two are! So much 1w
  •   beatricenad Happy Birthday Steve! And wow...Augustus looks so much like him!! 1w
  •   valeriedarragh Gahhh, perfection! 1w
  •   mamabirdlife That is so beautiful @adamhargy I love you 2d

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bonjourmoon fiorella's first february bath next to the roses in a sink made just for her. we have plans to make a birthday cake for my husband and i hope it turns out as pretty as its resting in my head. she smells like vanilla lavender and estee lauder's florals perfume still left on my wrists. 🏻 1w

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bonjourmoon the first morning of february is late-sleeping children on our bed, hot coffee and arranging bouquets from yesterday's blooms in this little hanging vase i made yesterday morning. our wall needed something and i think it was this all along. amazing how much joy it's already brought me! my husband said the only problem is that you need to have it constantly filled with flowers and i said that's the best problem to have it's simply a mason jar and sturdy string, so simple but also really beautiful i think. I made a little tutorial on my blog for those interested. happy february dear hearts 1w

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bonjourmoon this is the time i let the new sunday flowers i made your father pull the car over to let me get, wilt on the ground below us so i could nurse you and watch a bit of the dust from your dreams land on your mouth, as every few minutes, while your eyes remained shut, your mouth would open into smiles that must suggest your dreams are moving through every part of you. beautiful baby dreams , of what, only you know. so i let the wild heath aster daisies and purple wax flowers wilt until you reawaken and we can water their roots, like i do you, together. 2w
  •   moonstone_poetry Ur poetry resonates in every part of ur world, it's so beautiful that my soul yearns to read more and more. I look at my 8 month old princess and she is poetry in motion. Ur words leave me in a state of a long and content sigh...... 1w
  •   sarahjean.6 Breathtaking. Do you often nurse her skin on skin still? such an intimate mother babe connection 1w
  •   sweetly_inspired 1w
  •   lanatemo Best moment ever 1w
  •   nicoledigiacobbe The best and so beautiful! 1w
  •   moondrivengypsy Magic mama 1w
  •   themboysandme Oh just magic 1w
  •   oatmama Just pure love. 1w

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bonjourmoon still completely on cloud nine from dating my boyfriend who i happened to be married to so i'm bringing that happiness outside with my babies on a morning that feels a bit like spring. gus is gathering rocks and fi is staring up at the trees after a successful @kanthabae transfer into the moses beneath the window and i am checking on the progress of our tulips and daffodils with a hot cup of coffee in my lilac nighty. i may have total and complete writers block right now (have you noticed?) but i don't mind because i keep replaying what my husband said last night as he stopped me before we got to the little restaurant, "as long as we just love each other through it all, we will always have forever." 2w

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bonjourmoon tonight my husband is taking me on a date for the first time in what seems like forever, and i am giddy at even the very thought of what it's going to be like. the weekends are often very lonely being married to a musician, so to have him all to myself on a friday night feels like catching ten shooting stars in my hands. while i feel immediate guilt leaving our babies for even a few hours, after rereading pablo neruda's sonnet XVII this morning i remember that the love we show each other will completely effect who our children will one day become, so taking time, even sneaking it in, is so essential. for them, for us, for the world that sometimes gets lost in all its darkness from the absence of love itself. so now i will nurse fiorella as it rains outside until she falls asleep and i can slowly tiptoe into the closet and set aside a dress to wear just for their father. (ps: ethereal, beautiful floral nursing bra by @belabumbum ) 2w
  •   bonjourmoon @strawberridreams oh yes, we did wake her in the beginning to nurse her every couple of hours! that was so exhausting but so necessary for weight gain and growth. but after a few weeks she just really led the way and still only wakes to nurse one or two times, but goes right back to sleep since she sleeps in our bed with us. I would say especially in the beginning that the night feeds are pretty important because their intake of food is based on 24hours of feelings so missing some may effect weight, but talk with your doctor about it of course. this is just what worked for us, but it may be so different for you! here to talk more if you like Xxxo 2w
  •   bonjourmoon @strawberridreams 24 hour feedings, not feelings 2w
  •   strawberridreams @bonjourmoon thank you for replying, 24 hours of feelings is a thing too I did the same with my now 9 month old and after reading your post wondered if that may be why she is such a terrible sleeper that my waking her might have gotten her used to needing to nurse so often, sometimes hourly! I'm on a journey to try and help her self settle a little more after co sleeping and breastfeeding on demand. It seems like what we did was totally normal.. 2w
  •   strawberridreams @bonjourmoon I'm pregnant again unexpectedly and am feeling such pressure to resolve her sleep, she will be one and a half when baby is born and I just can't see how it will work with two little ones who need help through the night so often, I love seeing your family or inspiration for a family of four because some days I am absolutely terrified at the thoughts of how how how? 2w
  •   twimpsydimsy Such a beautiful duo. Enjoy you love tonight! it is so important to make time! 2w
  •   queenpolexia what does your husband play? Mine plays in a few bands and also in an orchestra... I feel the loneliness too. 1w
  •   sweetly_inspired So sweet! Also - Prettiest nursing bra! 1w

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bonjourmoon reading ann patchett's bel canto, "for a man to know what he has when he had it, that is what makes him a fortunate man" and then "love was action. it came to you. it was not a choice." 2w

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bonjourmoon today is rather lonely, so i'm dreaming about bright sunshine and dresses without leg warmers and our upcoming trip to mexico with the help of this floral and pink striped swimsuit of my absolute dreams which just arrived and that baby embroidered peasant dress i picked up a few months after finding out i was pregnant. sometimes just the very thought of what lies beyond what surrounds us is rather beautiful. the dreaming part is, and has always been, my favorite. 2w
  •   littleredbowtique So dreamy! Love that suit! 2w
  •   applesandforts Love the suit and the dress! So excite that you get to go to Mexico, send me lots of pics and vids 2w
  •   bonjourmoon @femmeyellow I am SO touched by this. Let me have a look through my favorite poems tonight and get back to you later tonight. Ahhh I can't wait to see what you create 2w
  •   _dianalupu Your dream is so dreamy! ️ Love both the suit and the little dress so much! 2w
  •   juleyak @bonjourmoon likewise, K 2w
  •   masha_theone And this ? Can't wait to see pictures of you from the beach 2w
  •   bonjourmoon @femmeyellow Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda 2w
  •   amareedavis I'm going to Cancun to shoot a wedding in Feb...I live on the other side of the country in NC...but if the small chance happens that if I meet you in the middle in Mexico I'll buy you a Margarita! 2w

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bonjourmoon he's been carrying a white stone with him that i found on the shores a couple weekends back. he sleeps with it, sits it near his little meals as he eats, and every so often asks where it is if he's lost it, with the type of concern and worry you would if you lost a ruby necklace that your great grandmother passed onto you. or your passport an hour before europe. he told me there is a song behind the clouds while driving the other day and called the gathering of turkeys in our front yard the other morning dinosaurs. he is happiest in the water and plays with the measuring cups and pans in the sink as i move through the kitchen putting away this and preparing that, filing up the clear vase to hold our beloved roses. he is still small, he is still taking it all in, he is, every minute, growing. he said there were birds on sissy's head as i poured in the bubbles and if you look at him long enough you will no longer see his eyes but my husband's and it's really something special, just the very way he is so very him. 2w

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bonjourmoon sitting outside of trader joes after a nursing session before returning home, with my little smiling flower, looking at our pretty loot (pink spray roses, cotton kitchen towels, a pretty birthday card and pastel gummies) surrounding us, i am compelled by this very memory we have created together out of nowhere. the memory of a mother and daughter quietly together. i tell her "this is a rose. you may love them as much as me one day." she falls back asleep as i place her in her seat and we enter the world again and readjust, this time, each time, a little more delicately. 2w

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bonjourmoon this weekend i made her little bonnets from old scraps of fabric while she slept in my arms or at my side. i can't wait to try them all on her when she wakes. i have a feeling they will remind me of the sunshine and flowers that I have so desperately missed lately. perhaps i will try making a patchwork dress next or maybe a cardigan with little wooden buttons. i think that would be lovely indeed. 2w

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bonjourmoon last night she did her first ever belly laugh and we all just about died. her eyes closed as she experienced this new sensation and i had tears streaming down my face from smiling and laughing so much. a whole new part of our world has cracked open and her light is filling in. 3w

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bonjourmoon each day we lay like this until brother falls asleep. usually, after tracing my hands down every little contour and feeding her until her almond eyes begin to flutter, she drifts off right after him. sometimes she will wake after a sequence of fifteen or twenty minutes have gone by, confused for a quarter of a second, until i tell her it's ok with just my eyes and repeat the same steps until she believes she is safe again. sometimes i sneak out to put the kettle on for tea, or clean up whatever inevitable mess is outside this bed, but usually i only get to boiling the water and slicing the oranges or turning on the fluff cycle on the dryer before i change my mind because nothing tastes as good and no clean living room looks as good as being right in the middle of them feels. 3w

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bonjourmoon one day she is going to look at me and tell me she's in love, that she regrets last night, that after all these years she finally forgives herself, that she feels truly beautiful when she's immersed in her craft, that god heard what she prayed so hard about, that her brother isn't calling her back, that we are so out of touch, that she needs freedom and independence to figure it all out. but not today. today my primrose is sitting on the settee i picked up second hand with a vision while pregnant with her, knowing she would one day sit there, like she is today, staring for the past half hour at the intricate flowers on her beautiful new wildflower blanket and smiling uncontrollably when i call her butterbean like an old southern lady of high class as i fold the laundry on the cold ground. today her breakfast and lunch and dinner come from my body and her eyes are always where i am and today she is my littlest little girl still smelling like a garden by the seaside in heaven. 3w

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bonjourmoon i snuck off to take him for ice cream because i missed him more than i've ever missed anything even though he is an arm's reach away from me day in and day out. you can miss people even when you're close enough to kiss them, i believe. he asked for mini m&m's on top and sang ellie goulding's 'on my mind' song really loudly and i just let him because how do you you tell a little boy who is singing from his heart in his own little world to lower his voice? it was just us inside anyways and it was sweet and pure and why being so small in all that is big is pretty magical. we ran in the grassy patch outside afterwards and when i told him it was time to go, he put his hand on his chest and said "no mama. let's stay here. together. pweeese. pweeese mama." the way he said 'together,' you guys. it was my very own symphony and i swear it's all i've been able to hear. 3w
  •   wlmelendezp @yo.soy.meli you are right 3w
  •   quietbeautynow Good for you! It sounds like you and this little one have been missing each other. He sooo needs his mama XO. 3w
  •   annaheartstristan Oh I love your mama ️. 3w
  •   roseroses 3w
  •   jenschmierer Sometimes I'll realize that I've missed a few (or more) of your posts so I'll scroll through and sometimes before even really looking all the picture, I'll read your caption. The last one about your daughter calling you someday deeply moved me and this one brought me to tears. I just want you to know that I love your soul! It's like you're putting into words whatever that I can't. Everything you write and photograph is gold. 🏻 3w
  •   themboysandme My darling love. I can relate to this so much. In those first months of adjusting to becoming a mother of two what hurt me the most was how much I missed my A. Like heart wrenching gut ache miss. We had a lot of dates and they are so necessary. Everything settles. Honestly. I've been there and it's a gift and curse to feel everything so deeply. Love to you beautiful woman. Your words never stop inspiring me 3w
  •   okiebre That is so sweet!! 3w
  •   faesoul yes oh yes we can miss those that are right near. and especially those that are far. miss you. 3w

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bonjourmoon woke up telling myself i will find little happies and today they came by: opening up the silky green journal my husband gave to me on our wedding day and re-reading those sacred, special words. he sewed an emerald bracelet into one of the pages and the thread is still dangling. receiving a beautiful just because letter in the mail with seashell imprints and numi white rose tea from @seawashedliving. opening up my email to find a four minute song hummed in portuguese while rocking her daughter to sleep from my @thundercloudsoflove. laying pictures down like tarot cards as musings before i write. holding my little woodland fairy baby girl in my arms until she fell asleep. my two year old baby boy asking to smell my face and say, "oh mama that's just so nice." thinking about what jeff buckley was thinking about to sing hallelujah like he did. frozen dark chocolate almonds. 3w

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