ashleegadd Real talk: 2015 was a hard year for our marriage. I'm spilling my guts about it over at @coffeeandcrumbs today. Link in profile. Special thank you to my husband, who occasionally gives me permission to air our dirty laundry on the Internet. ***
"Our first baby hit our marriage like an earthquake. The house shook, but our foundation was solid. A few plates broke (from the earthquake, not me throwing them). A few picture frames rattled on the walls (from me slamming doors, not the earthquake). Sometimes we hid under tables, but we survived. We’re California kids; it was fine.

I think I expected our second baby to hit our marriage like an aftershock. This ain’t our first rodeo. Boy, was I wrong. The second baby hit our marriage like a freight train crashing into the side of the house. The transition was sudden, unexpected, loud. There was wreckage everywhere: harsh words, severe sleep deprivation, an alarming amount of apathy. We tag teamed the cleanup as best we could, but there was only so much we could do covered in ashes."
1d
  •   ryancatherine Very beautiful words, thanks for sharing. I can relate. We just had our first son and at 10 months, he's not sleeping through yet. I never could have imagined the toll this would take on us both. It really makes me feel better to know that other mamas and families are struggling like we are. I wish the best to you and your family (and glad your youngest is sleeping for you finally :) ) 1d
  •   smpauling @ashleegadd Loved this. Before having my daughter I remember imagining what it would be like with my husband.....looking at him in pure bliss & just feeling so happy & content. It definitely was those things but maybe only 10% of the time. The rest was stress, anger, frustration, resentment, annoyance.....all the bad feels. But now a year & a half later & looking back on that tough stage you realize there was something beautiful to it all. The sacrifice, the getting through it, all of it. Beautiful post Ashlee. Thank you. 1d
  •   kacilawless Loved this. So. Darn. Much. 15h
  •   ashleegadd @bek_warren You are in the thick thick thick of it. Sending lots of love your way! 15h
  •   ashleegadd @mrsandmrking So sorry to hear this Marriage is hard work.....keep at it, friend. Thanks for sharing. 15h
  •   ashleegadd @angelineevans YES. Changing seasons - so good to acknowledge that. And 4pm valentines dinner 🏼 15h
  •   ashleegadd @ryancatherine @smpauling Thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to read! 15h

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd They put tiny valentines in little mailboxes and it was basically the cutest thing ever. 2d

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd The occasional perks of insomnia: by 8:30am I had already written two crappy first drafts, read a chapter of a great book, watched a show, cleaned and vacuumed my entire house, walked a mile with the kids, listened to a podcast, showered, planned out the day, and now I'm ready for my second breakfast. Don't talk to me at 3pm, I'll be dead. #ohhey4am #passthecoffee 4d

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd I have been writing on the internet, for free, for six years. Nobody has ever paid me to write anything. Ever. When I say that out loud, it's actually kind of hilarious. But you know what? I LOVE to write. I walk around all day with words swirling in my head, and I have to put them somewhere or my brain will explode. So a while back, I started a blog, to keep my own head from exploding. I thought it would be fun to offer those words as a gift of sorts. People could take them or leave them.
Last week an editor from a magazine found an essay I wrote for Coffee + Crumbs floating around on the Internet. She e-mailed me and said, "I like your voice. Would you be interested in writing for us sometime?" I said, "Sure! I've been working on an essay about friendship, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it yet. Do you want to read it?" She asked me to send her what I had so far, and without thinking about it too much, I sent her my crappy first draft.
And then today I woke up, on an average Monday morning, to an e-mail from that same editor offering me $1,000 to finish the piece.

ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS (!!!!!!!) Is that just the craziest thing?

For my fellow bloggers, the ones who stay up late to write for free so their head won't explode: keep at it. Maybe in six years someone will offer you $1,000 to write something and you will revel in this spontaneous validation like I am today.
Be right back, I'm going to go buy myself a new pair of jeans. 🏻🏻🏻
5d
  •   alyssasevs this is so great! encouraging to me and many others I'm sure. way to go :) 4d
  •   ofheartandhome That's awesome Ashlee! Coffee and crumbs is the best blog I have read ever.. it's like a warm hug from an understanding friend. You deserve every success and I'm sure this is just the beginning! xx 4d
  •   dianalyoder yes!!! 4d
  •   hughesashlee Congrats @ashleegadd!!! I want to read it4d
  •   ashleegadd All of you 🏼 THANK YOU. Always fun to celebrate the tiny successes alongside others 4d
  •   jen.v.mckee Congrats!!! You go get those jeans!! You've certainly earned it!! 4d
  •   ameliahannah 3d
  •   thecatharticblend So, one of my favorite parts about this piece of news is how it comes so soon after this topic (getting paid/not getting paid) was brought up in the #knowworkshop - way to go, @ashleegadd - can't wait to read this piece! 2d

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd It's 70 degrees outside and I'm wearing a tank top and sipping a margarita on the patio and this is the best Monday in the history of Mondays. #happyhappyhour 5d

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd I didn't think we'd still be nursing, but here we are. 16 months old, his body pressed against mine, rocking in unison to the rhythm of the hum from the white noise machine. The world stops. So much of mothering is physically demanding: picking up and putting down, carrying things and kids and here we go again in and out of these two car seats for the fifth time today. I go to yoga on Sunday nights to unwind my body and curve my back and reconnect with my own limbs, separate from theirs. But every day before naptime, I sit in this chair and unwind my body in a different way. The physical demands of motherhood replenish me instead of deplete me, and it is all I can do to sit here, still, watching the nightlight change colors, thanking God for all of it: for this baby, for this chair, for this moment, for this stillness, for this body of mine that I judge all of the time that is capable of doing beautiful things. 1w
  •   ellepiere Someone said to me once that continuing to nurse your baby beyond a year is a wonderful thing, if only to give you one connection with your baby that is still sweet and calming when they are in the midst of crazy toddler antics that make you want to tear your hair out. 1w
  •   ericasplace Our boys are the same ages and my 16 month is still breastfeeding as well! I've been following you since a little before I had him. So neat to identify with other mommies! 1w
  •   megandeguerre Our little Elodie turned 5 weeks yesterday and I did the math (why?!) and she averages 10 feeds a day so we've already nursed appx 350 times... A full time job but the best one I've ever had. Love this post!! 1w
  •   katerinagriep My "baby" is 28 months old and still nursing!! We hardly fit into our rocking chair. But we are still rocking it 🙂 1w
  •   oliveandiris How lovely, enjoy! I miss that closeness of nursing ... 3 years later xx 1w
  •   daniellebpark Pru is still on the boob at almost 20 months. I'm not as serene as you are about it. I'm like, "Bring on two because big girls don't need no boobies!" Haha. But this is a beautiful reflection on how breastfeeding requires you to sit down into motherhood, to be still with our precious babies, and appreciate our bodies for nourishing them. Thanks for sharing. (Pru's eyes just closed while nursing. ️) 1w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd Thanks for the inspiration, @elisejoy! One second videos every day. Here's 15 seconds from January 2w
  •   bnthurman Thank you @ashleegadd for the recommendation! Love your blogs :) 2w
  •   mitziegadd Love this! Do we get one of these every month? 2w
  •   ashleegadd @bnthurman thank you!! 2w
  •   ashleegadd @mitziegadd I'll email you one every month 2w
  •   kaileenelise Bravo!! Love!! Downloaded the app today & am excited to give it a try! 2w
  •   daniellebpark Oh it's great! And I think I'll not only do this with Jude and Pru, but also try the freestyle with my students! I bet their parents would love little glimpses into our classes like this. Thanks for sharing! 2w
  •   elisejoy 1w
  •   hellojenniferlowry I am in love with this idea! This is beautiful! 1w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd Our theme at yoga tonight was "pause" and then I walked out to this in the parking lot. 🏼 #sabbath 2w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd This week in our Coffee + Crumbs writing workshop, we're talking about romancing our brains and getting in the mood to be creative. My favorite part was when someone left a comment in the forums about how much she enjoys quickies. My personal routine: shower (best place to think/clear my head), coffee, dark chocolate, and the same spot on my bed with two pillows behind my back. This is how/where I write 90% of the time. How do you romance your brain? #romancingmybrain #knownworkshop 2w
  •   ashleyabrmsn I love that concept. Good going. 2w
  •   ashleyabrmsn Love the quote by Chesterton that poets are priests of the invisible. 2w
  •   ashleygartland @ashleegadd, what is it about the shower that inspires thought? I always have my best writing ideas there and while I'm running or driving. Of course none of those places is a good place to write them down! 2w
  •   frogger1girl @kbradley89 I've been reading posts on @coffeeandcrumbs since I was pregnant. Amazing stuff if I'm having a bad moment I always go and read on that site. It always makes me feel better and not alone. 2w
  •   ourcitylights I missed the boat on the workshop but I totally would have joined! 2w
  •   juliaralston That was me with the quickies! I'm loving this workshop! 2w
  •   ashleegadd @ourcitylights Yes! Next time!! You would love it! 2w
  •   ashleegadd @juliaralston I was cracking up So good! Glad to hear you're enjoying it! 2w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd A reminder for all the dreamers out there. Cards by @goldpresspaper #knownwritinggoals 3w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd I'm really into tiny things that make a big difference. Every Sunday, I buy a $4-6 bouquet of flowers from Trader Joes. Throughout the week, even in the midst of chaos and crying babies and piles of mail and spilled food on the kitchen floor, I look at these, and they make me smile. What's a tiny thing you do for yourself that makes a big difference? 3w
  •   ashleygartland 15 minutes of reading before I go to bed. It lets my mind drift and reminds me of the girl I used to be. 3w
  •   brittwesely I do the same! 3w
  •   saakemama A cup of tea in the late afternoon--usually the toughest part of the day for me. 3w
  •   paperbeauty Paint my nails... Every time they catch my eye it makes me happy! 3w
  •   auntdawnie Love fresh flowers!!!! 3w
  •   mommarino When I was living in Ireland in the crappiest flat known to man, I would buy flowers every week too. It made me feel like my space was nice when it was actually run down and dingy. The small things 🏻 3w
  •   mrsjessjonesy I bought Trader Joes flowers yesterday too and it was perfect because my kids ended with strep throat by the end of the day and those sunflowers made all the difference! 3w
  •   kapachino I have been meaning to start this! I do make a big salad every Sunday and then I'm set for healthy lunches for the week. 3w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd I wanted a picture of our matching cozy sweaters but the more I look at this, the more Everett looks like a giant. When did that happen? 3w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd We pooled all of our Christmas money and gift cards to buy a robot vacuum. I have never had higher expectations for a purchase in all my life. So far, so good. I'm sitting here reading while a robot sucks Cheerios off the floor. And all the mommas said 🏼 3w
  •   ashleegadd @jessbrockett Oh! I have a solution for that! Tell your kids that if they leave toys on the floor, the vacuum will eat them and they'll be gone forever. I've never seen Everett pick up 28 hot wheels so fast. 3w
  •   ashleegadd @kristin.throckmorton THAT IS AWESOME. 3w
  •   ashleegadd @nicdietsch Girlfriend. I just looked in between the couch cushions last week and oh my goooooooish. I kid you not: 52 Cheerios, 14 goldfish crackers, 2 jelly beans, and a cheeto. HOW. 3w
  •   ashleegadd @jennalouodegard So the Neato is round on one side and a square on the other side. It gets all up in the corners! 3w
  •   jessbrockett @ashleegadd I love it!!! Might work for my 2.25 yr old but probably not the 8 month old I wonder if the top end model vacuums will pick up/organize too... 3w
  •   allifuller I wish they had that for the car! James' car seat is a grave for Cheerios and gold fish 3w
  •   skbell6 So jealous! ;] 3w
  •   jessbrockett So how do you like it 2 weeks in?! I'm praying for a big tax refund to make this my reality 🏻🏻 5d

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd One kid is napping, one kid is watching a movie (hey, Monday), and I'm sitting at the coffee table next to my $5 trader joes bouquet reading through our @coffeeandcrumbs #knownworkshop. This is incredible - women from Canada to London to Malaysia to Milwaukee, all signed up to work on their writing for six weeks with the C+C team. Feeling super grateful, blessed, and humbled by this work today. Making art in community is one of my favorite things. 4w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd Favorite dress in my winter capsule: this guy. Wasn't sure I could pull off blue, but the pockets and forgiving fit got me like Dress by @brassclothing 🏻 4w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd He just woke up. 4w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd My favorite guys. 4w
  •   acase517 Perfect🏼 4w
  •   fairy_mary_parties Was such s nice day to be out! Now hunker down for the rain 4w
  •   grcampos How far apart in age are your boys? 4w
  •   kittytate Grew up right there. A mile away 1w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd The way he fits perfectly on my hip. I will miss that so much one day. 4w
  •   yesica_vergara So sad we missed you 4w
  •   charmpetty So cute and so teeny 4w
  •   ashton_bagley This is beautiful!! 4w
  •   kmveronesi This looks far too chilly for Cali but great pic! 4w
  •   tara_oliver Im working on yearly books for the boys today. I have to tell you I am so jealous of the season you are in. Looking back at the photos when the boys were those ages have me missing that sweet, slow, tender time so much. Now it's carpool and soccer practice and homework and weekends full of sports game schedules. I love this photo of you and your baby....and it's making me hope our little miracle baby comes sooner rather than later. 4w
  •   ashleegadd @yesica_vergara That was the best coincidence! I haven't popped into the Facebook group in a while - we just happened to have a free day! Fun seeing you there! 4w
  •   ashleegadd @tara_oliver It is a very sweet and tender time (but let's not forget the poop and sleep deprivation ). I hope your miracle baby comes soon too! 4w
  •   littlecraigclan Such a lovely image!! 4w

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd Helping me put on makeup for date night. (He'll be devastated when he finds out he's not invited.) 1mon

» LOG IN to write comment.

ashleegadd Speaking right into my heart, these two. What book(s) are you reading right now? 1mon
  •   suburbansalt Wild by Cheryl Strayed and Big Magic. Xmas was good to me on the book front lol. Some people binge watch GoT after their toddler finally conks out, I binge read feminist super stories lol. 1mon
  •   ashleegadd @suburbansalt haven't read wild but big magic had me nearly applauding in my bed while I read it. 1mon
  •   mrsjessjonesy Little Women! Old school but so good! I just want to be Marmee 1mon
  •   laurelmuff Four Seasons in Rome by Anthony Doerr. Take me back. 1mon
  •   lovelylauralife Not currently reading anything, but last month I finished Fight Back With Joy. 🏻🏻Couldn't recommend enough! 1mon
  •   laurawifler Own Your Life by Sally Clarckson and Re-reading Anne of Green Gables. I'll have to check those books out! 1mon
  •   raisingthemartins I love this book and can you share how you take notes on books as you read or do you just remember what you read? With three under four it is so hard for me to actually soak in what I read 1mon
  •   raisingthemartins (Out of Sorts book) 1mon

» LOG IN to write comment.